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[crowie]

I don't intend this to be snarky at all, but if by "ideological" you are referring to that strain of ideology a la Marx or Althusser--and I think you are-- then realizing that your own sense of having "gotten it" is also ideology---a regime of affect that may work to ensure the very inequities you'd like to correct---may help you to continue to feel a sense of kinship with others. They are not on the other side of a binary as you, but are merely on another level of ideological complicity as you.

this is helpful.  i guess i was thinking of something more like, i now have a feminist mindset about things, and old friends really don't.  like, i'm plunging into academia, and they're knee-deep in the uber capitalist corporate world.  i guess i just need to grow up and learn to value different things from different people.

They aren't feminists but have plunged into the uber capitalist corporate world? You mean, instead of running their mouths about being feminists they are making lots of money and good investments so they can support themselves and a cast of thousands? How backwards is that? Right up there with barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.

It would behoove you to be nice to these people and not be an ideological blowhard because you may have to borrow some cash from them someday.

(to quote pry herself) Bwahahahaha!

[grasshopper]

I worry that the longer I stay in this field the more passionate and opinionated I will become, and studying these issues will make it even harder to maintain friendships with people that don't "get it."

Don't worry about that. The more you learn, the more you'll see how difficult it is to categorically label people with ideological umbrella terms like "feminist" and "not feminist." As long as they don't violate feminism. Ba da bum.

[karmann]

You should probably reserve judgment regarding who does and does not "get it" for a while (hopefully forever).  I say this as a staunch capitalist and committed Marxist scholar in the humanities.

[bewilderedta]

I don't generally believe the idea that academia isn't the "real world", but I think it is certainly true that people can get somewhat isolated and lose track of potentially valuable non-academic perspectives on things. Even if their perspective merely reminds you that there is a whole other world where people do not give a damn about your work and would rather talk about football. You should pay attention to those people, because a) they may have something valuable to contribute, and b) there IS a whole other world out there and you should know about it. And c) some of them might be living things that you're just reading about.

[embitteredhistorian]

I don't generally believe the idea that academia isn't the "real world", but I think it is certainly true that people can get somewhat isolated and lose track of potentially valuable non-academic perspectives on things. Even if their perspective merely reminds you that there is a whole other world where people do not give a damn about your work and would rather talk about football. You should pay attention to those people, because a) they may have something valuable to contribute, and b) there IS a whole other world out there and you should know about it. And c) some of them might be living things that you're just reading about.

Wonderful post.

In my opinion, academia exists to make the real world better, but during my Ph.D. I found my research becoming increasingly esoteric. Now I'm trying to change my specialism to something more relevant, which is not easy at all.

But it is a two-way street; people in the "real world" need to recognize the value of academic approaches to real-world problems and value the diverse approaches to life. If your friends can't agree to disagree amicably, they're no longer friends.

[marigolds]

Oh, for you it's feminism and Marxism, for them it's some sort of professional sports team or hobby.  Nobody wants to hear about anybody else's boring obsessions.

Bottom line:  don't be boring. 

(PS: there is nothing more boring than talking about false consciousness.  Don't even go there, with anybody, ever.)