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embitteredhistorian
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« on: December 07, 2009, 06:49:23 AM » |
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This is a very weird question, and I'm just begging for people to answer with "it's probably because you're a jerk", but here goes...
Since you got your Ph.D., do people outside of academia treat you differently?
I'm not talking about friends and family, who don't treat me any differently at all. However, since I got my Ph.d. last year, I've noticed a lot of people I meet tend to treat me either with great hostility or some bizarre amount of over-the-top respect because I'm "educated". The difference seems quite related to my Ph.d. itself--I don't announce or mention my degree to people when I meet them, and I notice a sudden change in tone/attitude (either more hostile or more polite) when they find out what I do for a living and/or my level of education.
Is it just me?
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abuflletcher
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« Reply #1 on: December 07, 2009, 07:35:34 AM » |
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This is absolutely untrue. People have always disliked me.
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isotope
A Ronnie James Dio Approved
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 1,311
I like to move it move it.
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« Reply #2 on: December 07, 2009, 08:28:06 AM » |
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Sometimes. But if I get the chance to keep talking, they quickly realize "Hey, this guys just as much a dumba$$ as the rest of us. Lets all have a beer."
Seriously, I will occasionally get folks clamming up a bit. A few times when my wife has introduced me to her friends I've gotten an awkward "Don't laugh at the stupid things I say" from them. I have found my usual response of "I'm pretty much an idiot who happens to know a lot about rocks" sets the whole social situation right quickly.
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There is nothing more metal than riding in a rocket ship shaped like a guitar. Except for maybe the lightning"Dr. Isotope, you sure do talk about poop a lot." -- student |
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galactic_hedgehog
Procrastinating, Python-quoting, Blue Blazer-drinking, chocolate-chip cookie-eating, Pastafarian, Not So
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 18,564
Mind Ninja
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« Reply #3 on: December 07, 2009, 09:14:42 AM » |
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We're allowed to interact with people outside of academia?
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Your professors were probably afraid of your galactic genius and did everything they could (behind the scenes) to thwart your hedginess. Hedgie loves to read. |
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dellaroux
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« Reply #4 on: December 07, 2009, 09:35:49 AM » |
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Actually, I've seen/heard of a couple of cases where people in someone's family have been supportive, encouraged the student, even made sacrifices on their behalf, only to suddenly have a back-pedalling kind of reaction when the kid actually finished the degree.
One, a neighbor, awhile ago, was an MA student who was the first to go beyond the BA in their family. First she were puzzled by the coolness she encountered the next time she went home, then a friend of their overheard her mom saying something that made them decide maybe that was the issue. I moved away soon after and never heard how it ended.
The other was a cousin, with whom one of his uncles picked a fight over some political issue, and kept referring to the kid's degree derogatorily at a family holiday party. Everyone else was uncomfortable, I think (I was just a kid) but I don't remember anyone sticking up for the cousin. There were reports they didn't speak for years afterwards, although I think they finally made up.
In the first case, my neighbor at one point said something like, "It's like they gave me a saw and set me 'way out on a branch, then we were all surprised that by sawing the way I was told to, I sawed my own branch off the family tree."
Friends might have different issues, but I haven't heard about those as much. I wonder if the family does in fact feel left behind, or something, and awkward, or even betrayed, over the distance they perceive has been set up between them.
With my cousin, it was like they felt like they didn't know him, anymore. He didn't seem to me like he'd changed, nor did my friend (and I didn't see purple spots or green horns on either the day after their conferrings!) but in at least those two cases, there was some weird kind of projection going on.
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Pax in terra choreagibus
Ballo non bello parare
How am I?: There are four levels: Alive, Alert, Awake & Functioning. Right now, I'm standing upright & moving forward.
We are gifted superfluously--the cosmos is more generous than we can ask or imagine.
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yellowtractor
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« Reply #5 on: December 07, 2009, 09:36:08 AM » |
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You go around telling other (non-academic) people that you have a Ph.D.?
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i think is good for every one only the think is that we will always scares about that. |
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annmarie
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« Reply #6 on: December 07, 2009, 09:47:40 AM » |
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This fora (and Balancing Work and Life) are both appropriate places for your question.
There could be a number of reasons for the behavior you describe.
One possible reason, people "clam up" when they don't know what to say. Even though I have a PhD and work "here" I don't necessarily know what to say to somebody else who says that they work "there" and working "there" requires a PhD.
When you do some types of work, it is difficult to describe what you do. If you worked at an insurance company and took phone calls from clients (for example) you would tell others that you took calls from clients. Others would accept that.
You probably want decide how to (briefly) telll others what you do. No, you don't want to be detailed in your description. Examples:
I teach at Kissy Face U.
I do research on (use a broad term) "homelessness", "aids", "earthquakes", etc
Over time, this gets easier.
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galactic_hedgehog
Procrastinating, Python-quoting, Blue Blazer-drinking, chocolate-chip cookie-eating, Pastafarian, Not So
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 18,564
Mind Ninja
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« Reply #7 on: December 07, 2009, 09:51:34 AM » |
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You probably want decide how to (briefly) telll others what you do. No, you don't want to be detailed in your description. Examples:
I teach at Kissy Face U.
I do research on (use a broad term) "homelessness", "aids", "earthquakes", etc
This is pretty much what I do. I don't go into details unless specifically asked. Which is, well, not never, but seldom. Usually I'll get one of two reactions: 1) Oh, wow. <silence> I wasn't that good in science. 2) That is so cool! Fortunately my wife was in the second camp. |
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Your professors were probably afraid of your galactic genius and did everything they could (behind the scenes) to thwart your hedginess. Hedgie loves to read. |
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neutralname
A person without qualities, except for being a
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 5,597
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« Reply #8 on: December 07, 2009, 09:55:56 AM » |
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You go around telling other (non-academic) people that you have a Ph.D.?
This reminds me of a possible T shirt Christmas present. |
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"My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music." Vladimir Nabokov
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concordancia
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« Reply #9 on: December 07, 2009, 10:08:18 AM » |
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Conversant person who can't be original: What do you do?
Me: I spend a lot of time dancing and reading and drinking coffee.
CPWCBO: I mean for work.
Me: I teach My Subject.
CPWCBO: Where?
Me: At the university down the road.
CPWCBO: So you like have your master's?/ My sister went there before they changed the name. (Yep, even unoriginal conversations can have some variety)
It is just as bad if I start off saying I am a professor. Who knew "What do you profess?" was such an obvious response to that question?
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I like money. I like to buy stuff and experiences with money.
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pollinate
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« Reply #10 on: December 07, 2009, 10:11:58 AM » |
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...
It is just as bad if I start off saying I am a professor. Who knew "What do you profess?" was such an obvious response to that question?
Similarly, if I say that I teach. Because, of course, the response is 'what grade?' One of these times I'm going to slip and say grades 13 - 16. |
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While "against stupidity, even the gods themselves contend in vain" may be true,
it is not reason for us to just give up and let the stupid run this world.
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niceday
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« Reply #11 on: December 07, 2009, 10:23:19 AM » |
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Everytime I screw up something, my brother reminds me that I have a Ph.D.
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mdwlark
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« Reply #12 on: December 07, 2009, 10:26:19 AM » |
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At my field-related but nonacademic job, I took "You have reached Dr. Lark" off my voice mail answer and replaced it with "Hi, this is Meadow" and the level of hostility went down measurably. I don't mention it and they don't respect it, so we get along. But yes, I know what you mean.
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mignon
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« Reply #13 on: December 07, 2009, 10:31:29 AM » |
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OK, so you have to read the hilarious book _Kings of Infinite Space_. The whole premise involves peoples' hostile reactions to a guy with a PhD.
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dimpled_eggplant
Junior member
Posts: 85
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« Reply #14 on: December 07, 2009, 10:38:19 AM » |
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...
It is just as bad if I start off saying I am a professor. Who knew "What do you profess?" was such an obvious response to that question?
Similarly, if I say that I teach. Because, of course, the response is 'what grade?' One of these times I'm going to slip and say grades 13 - 16. If I say "I work at the university" responses are ALWAYS along the lines of "oh, you are in the library?" or "ah, you do manual labor?". Apparently, I look really dumb. And THEN try to explain what it is that you do without looking like a total ass. |
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