|
frogfactory
|
 |
« on: November 20, 2009, 05:07:30 PM » |
|
Now, this really gets my goat. I see plenty of snowflake behaviours in my students, but none of them provokes my ire as strongly as direct, bare-faced lying. I am therefore starting this thread as a place to collect our anecdotes about lying scumweasel students, hopefully to include at least some tales of comeuppance. The event that inspired this thread was perhaps relatively minor, but my goat is got nonetheless. Students started an experiment on Monday (today is Friday, for those of you reading from the future) which required that they check back on the subsequent two days to collect data. TAs were scheduled to supervise at assigned times, which were writ large on the lab whiteboard for students to see. TAs did in fact turn up for their assigned slots early in every case, and stayed later than they were required to (I have verified that this occurred). Today, this email from a student I would never have expected to have scumweasel tendencies: Hey Frog,
I went to check on the lab at the time you told me and the doors were locked. My partner went the day after lab and collected data but we were unable to go wednesday. What should we do? Let me know, Thanks.
S. Weasel Gah. Get me a drink. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
At the end of the day, sometimes you just have to masturbate in the bathroom.
|
|
|
|
sciencephd
|
|
« Reply #1 on: November 20, 2009, 05:20:25 PM » |
|
Oh wait, now I finally know where my colleagues pick up these sleazy behaviours: from their students.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
I just hate it that I constantly have to like everyone and everything. -- moonstone
O, what a hateful feminist concoction!
Jews, communists, "lesbians", feminists and marihuana addicts --Pyshnov
|
|
|
|
karmann
|
|
« Reply #2 on: November 20, 2009, 05:52:39 PM » |
|
I had a student walk in fifteen minutes into an exam and announce that he would be taking the exam through special needs (fine, whatever, but you were supposed to arrange it through them a week ago) AND that he would be taking it five days late. I said no way, and told the student I could not discuss it right now (I was, after all, giving an exam) and asked him to come back in half an hour so we could discuss it.
30 minutes later, I get a call from special needs that student has scheduled to take the exam through them...five days later. When I exploded about it, the special needs coordinator said, "We thought that was really odd, but student said you were okay with it." Seriously! How did he think he would get away with that?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
llanfair
Village idiot and Very
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 22,211
Whither Canada?
|
|
« Reply #3 on: November 20, 2009, 06:11:11 PM » |
|
Posting just to keep this thread coming, and hoping against hope that I won't be able to post on it.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Because, you know, that stuff on the syllabus is like, in writing, and there are so many ways you can, like, read that, but when the guys who sit by you in class, like, you know, must know what's really going on, right? -- AmLitHist, channelling student
|
|
|
|
glowdart
|
|
« Reply #4 on: November 20, 2009, 07:27:10 PM » |
|
Oh wait, now I finally know where my colleagues pick up these sleazy behaviours: from their students.
They probably were those students as undergrads. How's that for depressing? |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
missemily
|
|
« Reply #5 on: November 20, 2009, 08:23:25 PM » |
|
Instead of handing the student her (plagiarized) graded paper, I hand her an Academic Dishonesty memo from me explaining that she gets a zero for the grade, a print-out of her paper with the plagiarized sections noted, and a print-out of the sleazy website containing a good hunk of her paper.
Student: "What's this?"
Me (other students are standing nearby): "There was a problem with your paper. You need to read it."
Student (after looking over papers): "I wrote this myself!"
Me: "Here, you need to see where this is the same as what's in your paper!"
Student: "I've never seen this website!"
Me: "You're not going to be like the student who told me, 'But that's not the website I got it from!,' are you?"
Student: "Whatever! Those are my words! I wrote this myself." (walks out)
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
mended_drum
|
|
« Reply #6 on: November 20, 2009, 10:13:11 PM » |
|
I don't have anything to add to this thread from this semester, but I appreciate that my terminology for the lying scum weasels has remained a part of the fora.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
galactic_hedgehog
Procrastinating, Python-quoting, Blue Blazer-drinking, chocolate-chip cookie-eating, Pastafarian, Not So
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 17,915
Mind Ninja
|
|
« Reply #7 on: November 20, 2009, 11:23:24 PM » |
|
I had a student admit that he got the information that he wrote in his in-class essays from a couple of websites, but that he memorized them. Word-for-word. Yeah. Right.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"A pun is primâ facie an insult to the person you are talking with. It implies utter indifference to or sublime contempt for his remarks, no matter how serious." -- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. Hedgie loves to read. |
|
|
profxfiles
I Am Not, Nor Have I Ever Been A Card-Carrying
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 1,287
I am the grading Jedi
|
|
« Reply #8 on: November 21, 2009, 12:50:51 AM » |
|
I had a student miss an exam and the miss his scheduled time for his make-up. Out of the goodness of my heart, I let him schedule a second try at the re-take. He missed that one as well. When he sees the zero on his grade report, he lies to me, trying to claim that HE arrived at the right time to take the test and that I was not there. After several e-mails back and forth, he then e-mailed my department chair to tell my chair that I am a liar and should be fired.
The only problem? My chair's office is right next door to mine and he was actually sitting in my office with me talking when the student was supposed to be there. I even said something to my chair about how this doofus just missed his second attempt at a retake. My chair forwarded all of the e-mails on to the academic dishonesty people--should be fun!
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"Personally, I liked the university. They gave us money and facilities, we didn't have to produce anything... You've never been out of the university. You don't know what it's like out there! I've worked in the private sector...they expect results."
--Dan Aykroyd in Ghostbusters
|
|
|
|
bud04
|
|
« Reply #9 on: November 21, 2009, 02:08:07 AM » |
|
WOW such stories! These students sure are bold aren't they?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
call_me_al
Junior member
Posts: 62
|
|
« Reply #10 on: November 21, 2009, 02:32:39 AM » |
|
In my second semester at my new college I got an email from a student saying she wasn't in the list of passes/fails of a fairly big exam that they had taken a few weeks earlier. So I panicked - obviously I had lost this student's test sheets; it was a class of about 90 people; I was struggling to manage eight different courses - what to do? She came to see me and anxiously professed to have prepared really well for this test, and she had been hoping for a good grade, so it was really unfortunate that I had lost her test... Mortification, more panic. I ended up finding her exam on the pile of "waste paper"/unused test sheets and immediately wrote her an email with profuse apologies.
When I sat down to mark it, I realised that SHE was the one who had given after up 10 mins and handed me her sheets, ON WHICH SHE HAD WRITTEN: 'Sorry, I think I'm not prepared for this, I'll take the re-sit.' Her sheets were in the "waste paper" pile because I had been GENEROUS enough to not even count it as her first attempt. (They have three attempts to pass these exams; if they fail they cannot qualify as teachers - this horrifies them.) I sent her a carefully worded email and never heard from her again; but months later she was apparently still spreading word that Dr call-me-al had put her exam with THE WASTE PAPER!!
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
biop_grad
|
|
« Reply #11 on: November 21, 2009, 08:30:18 AM » |
|
In my second semester at my new college I got an email from a student saying she wasn't in the list of passes/fails of a fairly big exam that they had taken a few weeks earlier. So I panicked - obviously I had lost this student's test sheets; it was a class of about 90 people; I was struggling to manage eight different courses - what to do? She came to see me and anxiously professed to have prepared really well for this test, and she had been hoping for a good grade, so it was really unfortunate that I had lost her test... Mortification, more panic. I ended up finding her exam on the pile of "waste paper"/unused test sheets and immediately wrote her an email with profuse apologies.
When I sat down to mark it, I realised that SHE was the one who had given after up 10 mins and handed me her sheets, ON WHICH SHE HAD WRITTEN: 'Sorry, I think I'm not prepared for this, I'll take the re-sit.' Her sheets were in the "waste paper" pile because I had been GENEROUS enough to not even count it as her first attempt. (They have three attempts to pass these exams; if they fail they cannot qualify as teachers - this horrifies them.) I sent her a carefully worded email and never heard from her again; but months later she was apparently still spreading word that Dr call-me-al had put her exam with THE WASTE PAPER!!
Woah. But fwiw, you probably should have told her privately on-the-spot that if you planned to be generous in that way - so that she knows what happened without going crazy with the list. Just a thought. That said, why the hell is she checking that list - she knows she's failed. Maybe it's like some email accounts. They delete all input after one day if it relates to academics (which, apparently, is a redirect to Junk Data). |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
bud04
|
|
« Reply #12 on: November 21, 2009, 08:34:34 AM » |
|
She was checking the list because she was delusional. It is always amazing to me the students who think they are going to pass and they have never been to class, missed exams, have bad grades, etc. I especially love the ones at the end of the semester who ask if they can get an "A" if they do well on the final when they have a 60 average.....
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
profxfiles
I Am Not, Nor Have I Ever Been A Card-Carrying
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 1,287
I am the grading Jedi
|
|
« Reply #13 on: November 21, 2009, 09:03:52 AM » |
|
She was checking the list because she was delusional. It is always amazing to me the students who think they are going to pass and they have never been to class, missed exams, have bad grades, etc. I especially love the ones at the end of the semester who ask if they can get an "A" if they do well on the final when they have a 60 average.....
Chime--I had one just yesterday. 75% of the points for the semester have already been assigned, he is getting a 63% overall. He wanted to know what he had to get on the final to get a "B" or better. When I showed him the math and told him that he would need to get 131% on the final to get a B-, he stomped out of the room muttering about how unfair my grading system was... |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"Personally, I liked the university. They gave us money and facilities, we didn't have to produce anything... You've never been out of the university. You don't know what it's like out there! I've worked in the private sector...they expect results."
--Dan Aykroyd in Ghostbusters
|
|
|
|
fishbrains
|
|
« Reply #14 on: November 21, 2009, 09:41:06 AM » |
|
Instead of handing the student her (plagiarized) graded paper, I hand her an Academic Dishonesty memo from me explaining that she gets a zero for the grade, a print-out of her paper with the plagiarized sections noted, and a print-out of the sleazy website containing a good hunk of her paper.
Student: "What's this?"
Me (other students are standing nearby): "There was a problem with your paper. You need to read it."
Student (after looking over papers): "I wrote this myself!"
Me: "Here, you need to see where this is the same as what's in your paper!"
Student: "I've never seen this website!"
Me: "You're not going to be like the student who told me, 'But that's not the website I got it from!,' are you?"
Student: "Whatever! Those are my words! I wrote this myself." (walks out)
Yes, or the classic "I don't know how my paper ended up on that website" excuse. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"My face is going green behind the mask . . ." ~ Peter Shaffer's Equus
|
|
|
|
