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[bearcatprincess]

Hello everyone,

I thought of this forum for my hubby's dilemna, as he is in a rock between two hard places.

It is my hope that this thread can provide us with some useful arrows on direction as to where to go as of this point.

My hubby is a young man, 28, and has a BS in Criminal Justice. In 2003, a few days after graduation, he managed to pick up a felony (resist w/ violence). At the time, he was working in the sports industry and it really didnt matter. He attempted to get it taken care of, and was denied due to his bad credit and tough record. Thousands of dollars (to the tune of 11K) later, it stayed on his record.

So, you all know that his BS is void at this point.

FF, 6 years, he gets laid off and has a career-ending injury. He then becomes unemployed and brilliantly manages to get another felony (DUI, leaving scene of a crash). He gets 2 yrs probation, and violates it (they catch him driving)...yeah...I know what you're thinking...

so, his record looks like:

2004-Resist w/ violence
2009- DUI
2009 VOP, DWLSR

Pretty lengthy.
Now that you know all of our business, I am wondering what you would do if you were in his situation.

Yes, I know that you all are wonderful thinkers, probably eons better in problem-solving and decision making, and scholars who would never reduce yourself to this life of crime (please smile, it's sort of a joke), but I am asking you to take a second and try and put yourself in his shoes. What would you do if in some other lifetime you were in this predicament?

He wants to go back to school and get a MA/MS in something, but is worried what could he do with a higher degree. He knows he could go back to school and even do well (graduated in his BS with honors while on a full scholarship for athletics), but he is wondering who will hire him? What's his best bet? Doing any manual labor like lawn care, construction is out because of his injury.

Thank you all for your time.

[cranefly]

Here's two ideas:
1. Go back for an Msc in sports science/kinesiology and become a coach/personal trainer.
2. go to physiotherapy/sports medicine school.
3. get an advanced degree in psych and become a sports psychologist.

He may have to run his own business, but there's good money out there for the right person.

[bearcatprincess]

Thank you cranefly.

Those are some wonderful careers to get into. My only concern is that in the medical field, it would be rough for him to get hired because of his first violent offense.

[cranefly]

I guess it was 3 ideas, not two.
I don't think the felonies would come up if he was running his own business. I also think he could be a trainer or coach for adults. Probably not kids, but he could likely work with adult teams or individuals, run his own fitness business, be a physiotherapist, be a sports psychologist, etc. He needs to network with his old sports friends and find out if any of them are running businesses and would hire him if he got the training.
The trick, I guess, is learning beforehand what kinds of places would or would not check. He could just call around and find some people in these industries and ask them.
The other thing is to be repentent and show clear progress and distance from his past. People can forgive mistakes if it's clear that they ARE in the past. Tell him he's at a crossroads: he can make his life work or he can complain and whine that things are going to be hard and they will be. If I was in charge of hiring, I'd be looking for him to take responsibility for his actions, be truly remorseful, and have learned from his mistakes.

[bearcatprincess]

I agree with you cranefly.

It was going fine until the mistakes started again. But, I totally agree with everything you said.

Thank you again for your positive responses and brainstorming.

[macaroon]

It was going fine until the mistakes started again. But, I totally agree with everything you said.

More than anything else, the multiple mistakes make it look like deep down, he might not be a good person.  Without knowing him, I'd think he was a sonofab*tch that has no respect for rules or the law.   He needs to get something on his resume to counter that impression.  Regardless of what he tries to do with his career, he should do some thankless volunteer work. 

[womanofproperty]

OP, why are you the one asking this question?

[bearcatprincess]

Macaroon,

I agree with you too. He actually does volunteer, but more couldn't hurt. Thanks

Womanofproperty,

I have an account here. After a conversation with him, I decided to ask because I feel that this is an avenue for me to gain professional opinions for him. He didn't ask, I just decided to do it.

He has his own forum that he has asked for insight, but I just wanted to know what those in the academia fields thought.

[womanofproperty]

I asked because I wondered how this situation affects you.  It sounds like you are married to someone who has bad credit, a criminal record, and uncertain job prospects.  I would find that daunting.

However, if you're okay, that's great.  (No snark intended when I say that.)

[bearcatprincess]

Well, one could imagine.

We have been operating under the principle that there are ways around mostly anything, which include deposits, heftier down payments, and harder work-which he is willing and able to do. It could be worst.

What exactly do you want to know or understand? Rather, what do you want me to know or understand? I am finding some difficulty in seeing how your initial question correlates with your latter response to this thread.

I didn't read any snark in your post.

[offthemarket]

What should he do?  I think the question is, what does he want to do? 

Then, go from there, trying to find either how to get there or how to get to something similar that would be good.

I think pretending to be born again could help land a good job in the fundamentalist community, seriously.  I think multiple years of good honest work and study, and involvement in the community, can mitigate these things. 

[t_r_b]

It was going fine until the mistakes started again. But, I totally agree with everything you said.

More than anything else, the multiple mistakes make it look like deep down, he might not be a good person.  Without knowing him, I'd think he was a sonofab*tch that has no respect for rules or the law.   

To me, he sounds like a good-hearted person who has major impulse control problems. On the one hand, that's better than being a bad person. On the other hand, that's a difficult impression to shake. I doubt he'll have a problem getting people to see that he's a good guy. The challenge is convincing people that they can rely on him to act responsibly and professionally in stressful situations. I've met plenty of people whom I liked, but wouldn't trust to be a reliable employee.

I agree that self-employment sounds like a good way to go. Even if that's not where he wants to be long term, if he can successfully run his own business for a few years, that will go a long way toward demonstrating his professionalism and reliability to future employers.

[chomp96]

Here's two ideas:
2. go to physiotherapy/sports medicine school.

With multiple felonies, this person will almost certainly be denied at one of two steps - getting nationally certified as an athletic trainer (ATC) after graduation, or receiving a license to practice in a particular state (LAT). 

You can cross that one of the list.

[alleyoxenfree]

Is it possible that he could get an advanced degree in an area of psychology and become an addiction counselor?

Assuming, of course, that he has his own drinking problem in hand.  People in this area usually do have a background of addiction themselves, although I'm not sure about the felony record.  Possibly he could work with athletes who have struggled with addiction at a private care facility, or as a sobriety companion.

[hegemony]

If I had to read between the lines based on only this information, I would guess that the guy in question had an alcohol problem.  He drives drunk, crashes, and leaves the scene.  My guess is that this isn't the first time he's driven drunk -- what are the chances?  Then his license is suspended and he drives anyway.  And is caught.  How was he caught?  I'm guessing this was not the first time he drove despite the suspended license, either.  And his wife is helping him pick up the pieces.  Maybe I'm wrong in this instance, but this has the earmarks of classic alcoholic behavior.

Bearcatprincess, if any of this seems to fit, you might benefit by looking into Al-Anon:

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

It's also typical of the syndrome that the spouse is more interested in the alcoholic's recuperation and employment than the alcoholic.  I'd suggest, and I hope absolutely no offense, that you leave the research and the planning to him.  If he's slow/reluctant/afraid (or any of a dozen other excuses) and won't do it -- then you have your answer.  That's where Al-Anon might come in useful.

Thousands of people have troubled pasts and have gone on to good careers.  He needs to leave the troubled behavior behind, though.  The fact that the DUI was this year, and thus at most eleven months ago, is worrying to me.  Is he drinking?  Is he in AA?  The answers to those questions will determine the success of the next move, in my experience.