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[socktopus]

I don't know if this is an actual problem or something only I worry about, but here goes ... I don't drink alcohol or coffee. I just don't like the way either of them tastes. Anyhoo, here's my question: If I repeatedly turn down offers of booze 'n coffee during campus invite dinners etc., will people automatically assume that I am uptight, uncollegial, a recovering alcoholic, or a member of a religion that frowns upon such mind-altering substances as alcohol and caffeine?  I am none of the above.  Maybe I could show them that I am not uptight by turning down wine but then encouraging them to shout "CHUG!CHUG!CHUG!" as I down tankards of diet pepsi?

[scampster]

Only somewhat related, but you made me think of this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtBtvJWOqDM&NR=1

[systeme_d_]

Here's my two cents.

As long as you are accepting the invitations, and are present at these campus affairs, no one will care what you drink or do not drink.

If you're worried that folks will make assumptions about your reasons for declining alcohol and coffee, then disabuse them of such speculations by jovially referring to your dislike of the taste of these beverages.  

"If I could stand the taste, I'd have three!  But I would love a diet Pepsi instead, thank you."

[scotia]

I am a non-coffee (and tea) drinker who was teetotal for many years. I now drink alcohol only rarely and never at interviews. I don't process alcohol properly and found that it was easier to say that I don't drink rather than I can only drink alcohol in extreme moderation."'Thank you but I don't drink coffee" and "Thank you, but an orange juice would be fine: I don't drink" are lines that I use frequently and no-one has ever said anything. SCs are looking for good scholars and colleagues, not drinking partners (and as one committee member pointed out to me, the bonus with me is they hired someone who is always fit to drive when we do party).

[socktopus]

Thanks for the advice!

Maybe I'll get the chance to do a ginger ale kegstand sometime down the line. That'll impress 'em!

[john_proctor]

I doubt anyone will react to refusal of coffee (if you're self conscious, you might suggest tea.  Best, "thanks, but actually I'm really parched from talking all day.  Could I just get some water?")

As to alcohol: I also wouldn't worry.  My first assumption would be "oh, (s)he's on an interview and likely wants to keep sharp.  Probably a little nervous.  Maybe s/he'd relax if ..."  

If there is a department out there which will can you because you didn't drink, you really don't want to swim in that pool long term.  You should see that as a massive red light about the department's expectations for social conformity (not to mention some more sinister possibilities surrounding someone's problem with drinking).

They may continue to offer.  This may appear (or, indeed, be or become) pressure.  If they're drinking heavily on their own (and, alas, some sc members will), it's a breach of impulse control.  If it's only one member, realize that the other sc members are probably irritated as hell with their colleague's behavior.  If it's the whole committee, be professional in your interview, but get home when you can and have plans for something other than working at that school if at all possible (review bit above about social conformity here).

They may also be nervous themselves or worried you are (and feel that a drink will relax you).  More likely, they're using a common social stall (offer of a beverage) as a way of filling the conversational air or pausing to think.  They may very likely not even remember that they just asked you five minutes ago (they're thinking about the social situation, nervousness, your last statement, their own dry-cleaning, whatever.  They're not listening 100%).

Finally, for you this is a job interview.  For many on the SC, this is a social event with colleagues.  They're in their pool, with their associates, in their comfort spots.  For some depts, this may be one of the rare times that all the faculty get together outside of the office; the school may also be fronting the bill (which may mean that for some loan-ridden-kid-having-cash-strapped folks, this may be one of just a handful of adult out-of-the-house dinners they've had in months).  In most settings, it's harder for the SC to stay on task than it is for the candidate.  They're out, in part, for fun.  

Indeed, for most busy faculty getting a few "free" dinners out with colleagues from all of the interviews is the only real "perk" for lots of hard work added to their schedules.

So, long way to answer: no.  

Offers of drinks aren't really for your benefit.  They'll most likely not care at all about - or likely even remember within the week - your choice (unless, that is, you either get potted and misbehave OR issue a sermon against imbibing).

You be you, to the best of your ability.  Trust the SC to make the call about whether or not you, as you, would be happy and productive at their school.

[prof_smartypants]

I was just going to post what j_p did regarding alcohol. If you're don't want to say, "I don't drink" you can make a quip about wanting to keep your wits about you. With coffee, same thing - say, "I'm already nervous enough - caffeine would only make it worse. I'll have an herbal tea."

I wouldn't suggest this in your everyday life, but why feel like you have to explain such things when you're in an already stressful situation. I drink both coffee and alcohol, but used both of those lines while on campus interviews because they were honest.

[zuzu_]

I too dislike most alcoholic drinks, and I am frequently in the position of declining and perhaps seeming uptight. If appropriate for the situation, I make a "joke" along the lines of "I've never have actually been much of a drinker. I actually prefer marijuana. But at this stage of my life, there are too many complications and whatnot in having a drug dealer. Oh well." (I frame it as a joke, but of course it's true.)

I guess I really wouldn't do this an interview. But it does work well in many social situations.

On edit: I guess by saying this that I am also secretly hoping that one day I will find a good, discreet drug dealer.

[collegekidsmom]

People have all kinds of preferences-and I share yours in terms of coffee and alcohol. I don't think you should say that you "don't drink" as that sounds a little judgmental and begs further inquiry from the person offering. Sometimes they might feel like an apology is in order-"oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't aware..."

 I think it is important in social situations just to not make a big deal, or to make others feel uncomfortable. If you are not sure that they have diet coke or ginger ale or other things you would prefer, I would just say that I think I'd like some water right now-whatever seems to be easiest for the host at that moment. Or just say, no thank you in a nice way. It's like the situation when the allergy foods come around, or the prime rib is seated across from the vegetarian, or a person is more shy than others. Saying you "don't" do something might make others feel that there is some issue that might involve the situation, or other people or who knows.

Only alcoholic family members usually demand to know why you won't drink. This is usually only after they've had a few.

[neutralname]

You could always accept the invitation and then just place the glass by the side and leave it.  You'll probably be talking so much you won't have time to drink it anyway.

[john_proctor]

In absolute honesty (as a former SC member x4):

When candidates refuse coffee or booze, I almost immediately assume: 1. they're nervous and don't want caffene (or bathroom trips); 2. they're a bit nervous and want to remain mentally sharp.

I never assume they're alcoholics or "uptight."

I nearly always berate myself for having made the offer.  But from the SC side, it's hard, too.  I know damn well why some candidates don't want anything.  But _I_ really want a beer ('specially since someone else is buying.  Hell, I'm going for the Stella Artois - perhaps two).  And I feel like I don't offer to the candidate, it will come off as rude on my part.  But if I do offer something to the candidate, s/he may feel pressured to drink.

I wish I was mature and professional enough to pass that Stella up.  But I'm not.  Damn it, the vision of it's frosty, frothy goodness was what kept me going through that seemingly endless pile of CVs.  I also suspect you, as a candidate, might be wanting a light cocktail to make the day less exhausting and to relax a bit for the conversation to follow.  If you do, you're going to be uncomfortable as hell, on an interview, suggesting the idea.

So I'll compromise with some ridiculously awakward preamble about not wanting to pressure you or anything but letting you know that I'm going to have a beer.

We'll likely both feel sheepish.  Point is: the pressure isn't really about you or your choice.

As to coffee: same thing.  I'm pretty damn near deadass exhausted by the time you get to my one-to-one interview.  I frankly _NEED_ the coffee to keep what few wits I have left in order.  If I don't offer to you, I look rude.  If I do offer, though, am I pressing you to have yet another beverage when you've already had four or five cups on the day and perhaps really, really need to pee.

I don't see, in either case, any need for any explanation on your part at all (even the "...I don't ..." variety).  Simple "thanks, no.  I think I might rather have ..."  or "I'm fine, at the moment, thanks" work fine and dandy.

Trust me.  There are things to stress about in interviews.  This isn't one of them.  If you want something to drink, get something to drink.  If you don't, don't.

[john_proctor]

Only alcoholic family members usually demand to know why you won't drink. This is usually only after they've had a few.

eeyup.

And I know you really, really, really want a job.  And there's a chance Dr. Rummy is the deciding vote.

But believe me, if that's so, you won't want that job.

You'll be back here posting inside of six months about how your dept. is a toxic hellhole and searching for advice about how to get out.

[all_my_frenemies]

Great advice all around. And now......what to do if you are vegan to boot? Ergh.

[john_proctor]

Great advice all around. And now......what to do if you are vegan to boot? Ergh.

Tell the department chair or sc chair when you accept the interview.  If not in the acceptance letter itself, then in the follow up itenerary / plans to arrive letter.

If you're a vegan, you're skilled already in bringing this up in an non-threatening way, matter of fact way.

The committee will adjust, if its worth a damn.

Vegan is harder to accomodate than vegitarian, of course, but not impossible.

[goldenapple]

In both cases, remember that offers of food and drink are intended as offers of hospitality, which was the reason for the op's concern in the first place. You don't want to be a wet blanket, because you've refused someone's offer of hospitality. But of course you can refuse a specific object without refusing the gesture.

SCMember: Would you like a glass of wine or a beer?
You: Thanks for offering, but at the moment, I'd prefer a mineral water. But please, don't let me keep you from enjoying whatever you'd like.

[You express that you're not judging anyone else's choice.]

or with food:
SCMember: Feel free to get the steak, if you want.
You: This is a really nice restaurant. Thanks for bringing me here. I think I'd like to get the salad, though. I'm a vegetarian. So, is this one of your favorite restaurants here in Collegeville?
 
[The strategy here is, again, to accept a friendly gesture and then get the conversation away from you and your eating habits. Not a thrilling topic.]