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[treehouse]

Anyone have any thoughts on this?

A friend of mine is in a serious relationship with someone who is self-employed. Her partner earns a reasonable amount of money but falls through the cracks in the health insurance system in their state. It's a well-documented problem that this state system works well for people under a certain earnings level but fails the middle class. If you are middle class and not getting coverage through an employer, there is no discount or special group rate. The rates can be 600+ per month for an individual, or over 1000. for a family. There have been stories about this on NPR recently - middle class people unable to afford health insurance in this state.

[prytania3]

My friend got married strictly for health insurance. She had none (and she had health problems) and her partner had a Cadillac plan. They've been married over 20 years. She is now very successful and a full prof at an Ivy, so the insurance is not an issue.

[spectacle]

We just did this in August.

We'd been together for a long time though (5+ years) and had discussed marriage separate from health insurance.

My SO is an adjunct - his insurance would have cost over $400/month (because of his preexisting conditions, etc).  I totally understand people doing this... as long as they're prepared to deal with the consequences if the marriage doesn't work out, of course.

[treehouse]

Oh, and I forgot to add that her partner has a hernia. It's not serious now, but from what I understand it's the kind of problem that could become serious suddenly and need immediate surgery.

[spectacle]

Oh, and I forgot to add that her partner has a hernia. It's not serious now, but from what I understand it's the kind of problem that could become serious suddenly and need immediate surgery.

Yeah, if they are serious about the relationship, it seems like this makes the most sense, then.

[dr_prephd]

In my opinion, the only reason *to* get married is for the benefits. I mean, otherwise, you could just live with each other, right?

Hubby & I lived together for 4 years before we got married, and part of why we did it was to make it "official" in terms of health & life insurance, etc.

I mean, we love each other, sure, but we have no delusions about marriage as a sacred institution.

[alleyoxenfree]

Get a prenup.

Get married in some simple way - courthouse, Vegas.

If it lasts or they want to later on an anniversary, throw a bigger party.  If it doesn't last and parting seems like a better idea, at least one will have had covered hernia surgery and the other will have done something karmically good in the world.  What's wrong with that?

Until we all have health insurance, I support marriages of mercy.

[treehouse]

They've been together for almost a year and she said they are planning to move in together in a few months.

[t_r_b]

My wife and I lived together for the better part of a decade before getting married. We were quite happy that way, but then she decided to quit her job and try something new and was worried about benefits, so we decided to get hitched so we could share mine. One of her friends was married to an ordained minister: he performed the requisite ceremony in our living room, with his wife and one other friend as witnesses. The ceremony lasted just a couple of minutes. The only problem with the arrangement was that the minister forgot to mail in the certificate, so we were in limbo for a couple of weeks, benefits-wise.

Now, just three years later, we are getting divorced and not speaking to each other. Some, no doubt, would say that since we did not start out our marriage in a suitably ceremonial way, it's no wonder things went south. Others would say that we were doing great for years without being married, and that somehow making things official screwed things up for us. I reject both interpretations. Our problems went back long before our "wedding" and were not affected by it one way or another. An unhealthy partnership is an unhealthy partnership, whether or not the state has licensed it.

In the OP's friend's case, I'd urge caution, not because there is anything wrong with marrying your partner for health benefits, but rather because they are not actually partners. Let them shack up together for a while and figure out if this thing is going to last. Marriage carries with it all sorts of legal ramifications other than health care benefits: be careful.

Incidentally, are there any states in this great union other than Massachusetts in which middle-class self-employed people are not royally screwed over on health care? I was not aware that that problem was unique to any particular state.

[coneflower]

Some states allow domestic partners (both same sex and opposite sex) commercial health insurance coverage. Before jumping into marriage if your friends are not otherwise inclined to do so, the one with health insurance should check with her employer to find out if domestic partners are covered under her policy and, if so, what documentation is needed.

[sikora]

People get divorced for health care cost reasons, why not get married for same?

http://www.divorceandfamilylawblog.com/2009/08/health-care-costs-encourage-di.html

[prytania3]

I'm not hung up on marriage as sacred, but I guess I'm stuck on the idea on marrying only for insurance, even though other posters have suggested that that kind of arrangement has worked out.

Would it be only for insurance? You say that they are in a serious relationship. Is it the kind of relationship that would lead to marriage, or to a real commitment? Is their relationship at this point basically marriage in everyhing but name? In that case, I would say go for it.


But if they're not married now or considering marriage for reasons (excluding ideological opposition) beyond the insurance issue, my first impulse is to ask why he doesn't buy his own health insurance. But he has health problems--the hernia, I guess--that would make it difficult for him to buy his own. Is that the case?

While it's easy to say it's easy to get a divorce, things happen and play out in ways that lead to real repercussions. I hope that they look at this from as many angles as they can come up with before making a decision.

So people should get married for what reason?

Love?

Bwahahahaha

[alleyoxenfree]

Exactly.  Even statistics show that the cautious approach - long acquaintance, living together, etc. - actually leads more frequently to divorce.

With some acquaintance, you should know enough to know if you can stand each other.  And marrying to share assets is a time-honored tradition as well. 

[madhatter]

And marrying to share assets is a time-honored tradition as well. 

"She's beautiful, she's rich, she's got HUGE ... tracts of land."

[alleyoxenfree]

Somewhere in Nepal or Bhutan, there is a tribe where women marry multiple brothers for this very purpose, IIRC.  Keep the big tracts of land together.