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Poll
Question: A long time colleague in another department who you never much liked or respected dies.  Will you go to their memorial?
Yes, it is a mark of respect and community - 47 (63.5%)
No, if I didn't want to spend time with them when they were alive, it is hypocritical to pretend to respect them now. - 13 (17.6%)
Go for 10 minutes and leave quickly. - 14 (18.9%)
Total Voters: 74

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Author Topic: Memorial for Colleague You Didn't Like: Would You Go?  (Read 4396 times)
mystictechgal
Happy in my "full, rich adulthood", and as a
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
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Posts: 9,403

One step at a time


« Reply #45 on: November 24, 2009, 05:25:26 PM »

This is sad.  Thanks for the report.  I am sorry things are not better in your department.

I understand that funerals and memorial services are important for other people.  I've never been to a public version of one, even for family members, that meant something to me.  I have been to private memorial ceremonies and honoring ceremonies to celebrate a living person that were meaningful.  (The term "honoring ceremony" reminds me of Deconstructing Harry, but the correct term escapes me.)

I think the word you want is "tribute".

Thanks for the update neutralname.  It sounds like a sad situation.  I'm glad you and the others who attended were willing to look beyond that in an effort to support his family.  It was the right thing to do and I'm sure it did mean something to them.  If they hadn't needed or wanted the show of sympathy and support they would have declined holding the memorial to begin with.
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juvenal
Cynical Sexagenarian
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Posts: 306

Juvenal


« Reply #46 on: November 24, 2009, 06:49:14 PM »

A prickly, chilly woman; a drunk; in my general area, but not my discipline; at my school almost as long as I had been; depressed following suicide of her husband; in failing health for several years post-retirement.

Sure, I went to the scattering of her ashes.

I'd hope my colleagues would do the same for me.
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O saeculum, O scientia! Juvat vivere!
fishbrains
I've been called a [member], but never a
Distinguished Senior Member
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Posts: 2,094


« Reply #47 on: November 26, 2009, 10:38:26 PM »

A prickly, chilly woman; a drunk; in my general area, but not my discipline; at my school almost as long as I had been; depressed following suicide of her husband; in failing health for several years post-retirement.

Sure, I went to the scattering of her ashes.

I'd hope my colleagues would do the same for me.

Yes. And sometimes you go just to make sure they are dead. :)

Anyway, OP: You did the right thing here.
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"My face is going green behind the mask . . ." ~ Peter Shaffer's Equus
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