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[der_gadfly]

I used to try to read or do my own work, but I've noticed in the last year or two that cheating has gotten much, much worse.  So when I'm not strolling the aisles, standing behind people I've seen cheating on quizzes, and kicking notebooks and bags further under desks, I sit on the front table with my arms crossed over my chest, glaring menacingly at the students.

Unfortunately, my behavior seems to really freak out the conscientious, prone-to-nervous-attack students and does nothing for the hat-wearing cheaters.  (My quiz cheaters are all baseball cap wearers, so I make them take off their hats and put them under their desks for assessment now.)

I typically sit nervously for a few minutes, then announce that I am going for a cup of coffee and a smoke..... On the way out I invite them to cheat off the person next to them, with full knowledge that said person is probably dumber and less likely to have the right answer anyway, Oh, besides every single test has been encoded with invisible ink with a unique number so that I KNOW who has which version (all 7 of them), OH and yes, I have paid a spy in the class to rat out all those who cheat too....

[see_wolf]

I typically sit nervously for a few minutes, then announce that I am going for a cup of coffee and a smoke..... On the way out I invite them to cheat off the person next to them, with full knowledge that said person is probably dumber and less likely to have the right answer anyway, Oh, besides every single test has been encoded with invisible ink with a unique number so that I KNOW who has which version (all 7 of them), OH and yes, I have paid a spy in the class to rat out all those who cheat too....

LOVE this, and I am stealing it!

[lohai0]

i knit.  then i have something to do with my hands and i can still keep an eye out

[mended_drum]

I surf the fora until the first test is handed in; then I start grading, which creeps out the rest of the class.

Yes, I am just a bit evil.

[luvstowrite]

Wander the room, watching out for cheaters. Sometimes I tell them "Keep your eyes on your own papers", even though no one is cheating. Makes them sweat a little....

[see_wolf]

When I can, I also have them sit every other seat.  I tell them I do this because although I trust them, I don't trust their neighbor.  This year, one student actually said "But doesn't this mean you don't trust us?"  I just smiled.

[karmie]

i knit.  then i have something to do with my hands and i can still keep an eye out

I used to do this too, but I found it actually distracted students.  Some were fascinated by the knitting process and would find themselves hypnotized by the needles and yarn ("Whoaaaa, and it doesn't, like, fall apart? How does it DO that?"); others were too distracted by trying to wrap their brains around my being 26 and knowing how to knit ("But you're not OLD. It's just not RIGHT.") - I swear, I could hear the sounds of their brain cells dying as they tried to make sense of it all. :P

[mickeymantle]

I admit that I surreptiously grade the previous section's examinations while sitting in subsequent sections.  The formats of my tests don't demand a lot of concentration, and I can usually glance up and oversee the classes every few minutes because we have small sections.

[magistra]

I'll do a little light grading -- quizzes or something.  I'll read an article I've been meaning to get to.  And if I'm in a classroom with a computer, I'll sneak a peak at my e-mail.  I hate to do this, though, since the clicking can be distracting.  But when I'm down to the last person who's just sitting there stewing, and the quizzes are graded or the article read, I click away.

[ls410]

During my daytime survey courses, I walk around and keep a constant eye on my students.  Many of my colleagues don't really proctor at all so I get a fair amount of wandering eyes, phones appearing in laps, etc.  I had a student this semester look rather surprised that I was paying attention to them.

I was a hat-wearer as an undergrad.  I definitely wore them more often toward the end of the quarter: more parties at the end so more hangovers and more running to class at the last minute smelling like a bar floor.  My students now wear hoodies rather than hats.

[donstefano]

I usually sit in my office and work. My university -rightfully- thinks that faculty are too expensive to sit in a room and watch students taking a test, often for hours. We have a pool of people we hire and pay for this.

[jwormold]

I typically sit nervously for a few minutes, then announce that I am going for a cup of coffee and a smoke.....

I actually did go out to get coffee during a final exam for a class last semester.  The exam started at 7:30 am and there was no way I was getting up an earlier to stand in the impossibly long lines (my god, pour the coffee already!) when I clearly had 2 wasted hours ahead of me.

Of course, I was getting it not just for myself, but I was getting one of those Starbucks to go coffee vats for the entire class (there were only 10 of them; and, yes, I am very nice).  I went to a college that had unproctored exams, so this didn't seem at all wrong to me. Besides, it was all essay questions, and each student had to prepare a certain part in advance (and bring in appropriate illustrations to support their arguments), so I don't think they really could have cheated anyway.

[spectacle]

Check email, try to remember all their names, do a bit of final prep for my next lecture.  Once they start handing in the tests, I alphabetize.

Today, I announced four times that those who were finished needed to keep quiet for those who were still working, or they could hang out in the hall and chat if they wanted (I have a sound-proof classroom).  

Four times.  The last time, I actually said, "Oh my god, you guys need to hush up."  I'm not sure if the "hush up" instead of "shut up" made up for the "oh my god."  They were driving me absolutely bonkers with their nonstop chatter.

[carebearstare]

I bring an article to read, but I often just watch them take it, which I find oddly fascinating. The pencil chewing, head banging, staring at split ends, finger drumming--it's like a mini-psychological evaluation of how they deal with stress. Earlier this fall, I had a student just sitting there drawing flowers on her hand for about 10 minutes in the middle of the test. WTF?

But I like the idea upthread of reading publisher catalogs. Wonderful idea!

[tamiam]

Today I'll be grading homeworks and prepping for the rest of the week. (Teaching classes which require minimal prep - lucky me this semester)

Tomorrow I'll be working on my classes for next semester. Need to order books and figure out what I'm doing in general)

Sometimes I read a book.

I don't worry too much about cheating because almost all the students are dumb as rocks, and the few that are smart stay far far away from the Barney Rubbles. (That's in my lower level classes). By the time they're graduating seniors in my upper level classes, the exams are open book, essay, and cheating wouldn't work.