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[riptide]

How do you deal with coworkers when you are severely depressed? 

Thanks.

[kedves]

Are the coworkers the problem, or is this a classic depression with no clear cause although a trigger for it may be present?
Have you seen someone, a professional-type person, about it?

I have had one severe depression, but it was brought on by grief and existed as a sadness about life itself, not my own particular life.  My way of dealing with coworkers during this time was, unfortunately maybe, a crisis-mode feeling in which I had to keep calm and carry on extra-cheerfully.  Work was a refuge.  I was over-energetic, over-enthusiastic, and over-passionate.  I'm a more steady version of all of those things normally, so I was probably quite obnoxious.  That's probably not helpful to you at all.  I think this is so individual that I can't give good advice.  

Do you feel mostly the-hell-with-it-I-don't-care, or irritable, or what is it like for you?

Whatever it is like for you, I recommend a massage on a regular basis.  Touch transforms.

[riptide]

Oh my.  Cheerful is interesting...but far from my capability. 

I am more irritable and exceptionally moody and withdrawn ... and I look like s***.
I actually don't want to interact at all with anyone.

This depression is a classic bipolar depression initiated by a series of work-related triggers and medication changes. I have seen all kinds of professionals and we are dealing with it from the "chemical" standpoint and therapy.  I have only had two other severe depressions this badly and things did not go well.  I tend to be more manic, so this is not good.

I have never had a massage in my life.  Hmm..

[alleyoxenfree]

Acupuncture.
Double feature in middle of the day.
Make and eat big pot of stew or mac n/cheese.

Do not see co-workers unless you have to.  Do not cite depression but big, humongous grant or other noble, longterm effort; warn them phone is off the hook. 

See if grocery store will deliver.  Shower but don't feel you must go out.  Let your eyebrows grow in and yes, get a massage.  Find and watch stupid barking-laughter reality show like "America's Funniest Home Videos."

[bud04]

How are your classes going? Are you working OK with the students? What about your colleagues? Are they bothering you in any way? Is the administration bothering you in any way? How long have you been at your job? Have you got tenure? These are important questions so we can offer you suggestions. 

[prytania3]

Ripide,

Sorry to hear you're going through such a bad spell. Is your pdoc taking into account it could be a mixed cycle thing? The sooner you get on the right meds, the sooner it will pass. I drink a lot of Red Bull.

[sikora]

I can only speak from my own experience.  As for co-workers, be careful. Many people who say they understand mental illness can suddenly put on goggles made of stigma when encountering somebody really struggling. It's kind of like "Some of my best friends deal with mental illness," or more recently "I have piles of mentally ill friends and they even use my bathroom" ... uh, yeah.  Just be careful.

We all need human connection, though.  While meds are important, being part of something bigger than yourself that doesn't make too many demands may be helpful.  Check with your local NAMI if available.  Although I bridle at the 12 Steps (and I'm an expert about them), some people I know with mood disorders have really benefited from Emotions Anonymous.  All I am trying to say is that social isolation may only make things worse, and I encourage you to find some contact.

Work as much as you can but forgive yourself for being human. Can you find things that are self-soothing and engaging?  I like to color, and when I'm blue, I can color for hours. 

Pry has a good point.  For years I suffered with very agitated depressions.  Finally, somebody suggested that my problem was a form of bipolar depression, even though I have never had full blown mania.  Now I am on a good mix of three meds, and not one is an anti-depressant. 

Redbull, Pry?  Hmmm.

[sciencephd]

Avoid as much as possible, if possible, until you are in a better mood.  If that's not possible, be nice and keep your contact time as brief as possible.

or

Eat them with fava beans ...

[sikora]

Avoid as much as possible, if possible, until you are in a better mood.  If that's not possible, be nice and keep your contact time as brief as possible.

or

Eat them with fava beans ...

And a nice chianti

[oseph]

Riptide - I have a question for you.  How would you like to be treated by those colleagues?  I ask because I work near someone who pretty clearly has severe depressive episodes, disappears for days at a time, walks around occasionally looking really angry at the world, and I'm not really sure what the right approach is.  I have moderate depression myself, and half my family is severely depressed, so I'm very understanding about this sort of thing.  Up to this point I've just given this person his space but do greet him once daily - briefly - with a smile and a "How are you?  How's your new place?" and that sort of thing - then I go to my office and work and do not bother him again, nor do I tell him about anything, either good or bad, that is going on in my life.  Is that the kind of approach you'd appreciate when you're in a bad place, or should I be doing something else?

[dr_evil]

When I'm feeling depressed (as I have been lately), my introvert side comes out more - I just want to be left alone much of the time, but I can't at work.  I indulge in a nice bubble bath in the evening to be alone instead.

I would recommend against withdrawing completely (even if it feels like the right thing to do) so that they don't start thinking you're weird (some people don't understand introverts), but do give yourself time to recharge after being trapped with large groups, especially after classes.

I wish you luck and thank those who have responded so far.  I'm interested in the answers for myself as well, so thanks, Riptide, for posting this question.

[alleyoxenfree]

Chime to the finding others to be around other than colleagues.

One option in many communities is a support group run out of the local hospital.  Some hospitals also have free or low cost groups of other kinds - gentle yoga, grief support, life transition.

[jacaranda_]

Hi riptide -- I've followed, often with my jaw hanging open, many of the insane things you have had to deal with at your institution, especially from students.  Is looking for another job an option for you?  And are you continuing therapy in addition to the medication?  I don't have lots of advice here -- it sounds like others have offered you some sensible advice, so I'll send along my good wishes about getting yourself through this rough period.

[riptide]

Riptide - I have a question for you.  How would you like to be treated by those colleagues?  I ask because I work near someone who pretty clearly has severe depressive episodes, disappears for days at a time, walks around occasionally looking really angry at the world, and I'm not really sure what the right approach is.  I have moderate depression myself, and half my family is severely depressed, so I'm very understanding about this sort of thing.  Up to this point I've just given this person his space but do greet him once daily - briefly - with a smile and a "How are you?  How's your new place?" and that sort of thing - then I go to my office and work and do not bother him again, nor do I tell him about anything, either good or bad, that is going on in my life.  Is that the kind of approach you'd appreciate when you're in a bad place, or should I be doing something else?

Hm.  I am not sure how I would want to be treated by colleagues if I worked at a NORMAL institution.  But when a colleague at my current institution without any knowledge of my mental illness out of the blue when talking about grants,  says that "people with mental illness can not be trusted period." -- that pretty much does not give me an opportunity to expect anything positive from my coworkers at all.

In my case right now, I just want to be left alone by most.  The two colleagues that I consider "acquaintances," I like to goto lunch and get out with.  That has been helpful and they are from other departments so we just talk about "non-academic stuff" and b*tch about academic stuff occasionally.  Sometimes just talking about funny movies with someone who can recognize that a person is depressed and non-judgmental about it, is helpful.

Maybe offer to goto lunch with that person and talk about movies or animals or funny things about the place you live.  Not brain science. 

I don't know.  It's a difficult thing because people are so individual and those that don't suffer from any mental disorders are usually so judgmental.

[riptide]

Thanks everyone for your suggestions.

I am trying some of them and mostly isolating myself.

Moving is an option.  I took this job to be with my SO who is in gradschool in the city, intending to stay through my tenure and SO graduation which would have occurred around the same time period.  However, since things with SO are teetering, I don't know.  I fear leaving in this job market and without tenure.   I just don't know.

I am also just trying to focus on me and not compare my efforts to others around me.  Yes, there is 100% unbalanced effort among faculty (and even junior faculty), but constantly evaluating it makes me feel worse.  If my department values individuals who play computer games all day versus someone who brings in 80% of their salary, teaches more, sits on more committees, then so-be it.  I just am trying to focus on me and not the other ridiculousness around and when the time comes, I will have the CV to move.
Although this is easier said than done....when I am "drowning" in work and my colleagues are playing Minesweeper.