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bud04
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« Reply #105 on: December 13, 2009, 08:19:54 PM » |
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Dearest Sikora right now stay in your room with your four legged friend. Turn on your space heater. Tune out the people in the house. Or if you have time, put on your coat and go to a movie or to the bookstore to hang out. You do not have to interact with roommate or roommate's sister. Just wave as you go out the door if you do leave.
No you can not stay home next Friday because you must work. Be firm. Let Big Sister take care of her own family.
And I think the idea of visiting your bestest friends in the world in Kansas in a great one. Call them and make plans. Getting away will be good for you.
Is your space heater on yet? Are you making that call to old friends to make holiday plans?
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biomancer
trying to be the person my dog thinks I am
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 8,013
CHE Fora Hazmat Team
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« Reply #106 on: December 13, 2009, 08:32:54 PM » |
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Sikora, you need to work. That should not be a mystery to your housemate - after all, you've got to come up with your half of the rent and utilities somehow, right?
And yes, I think going to your friend's house for the holidays is an excellent idea!
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Clueless people can be dangerous. The acidic environment they can spread often needs to be neutralized, and humor is basic. - Dellaroux
Viruses invented people so that people would invent airplanes so viruses could get around better. - R. Duda
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sikora
Looking for something, but forgot what it was.
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 4,910
Arrggh! WTF??
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« Reply #107 on: December 13, 2009, 09:20:46 PM » |
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Kansas is an 8 hour drive away, and I worry about my car ... I have family here, but I will only get a half day with them at Christmas, as they are rather jealous and protective of the one daughter that will be in town. Given the rough life I've led, I'm seen as something of a bad influence. It's a "healthy boundaries" thing.
I think I got something here: as much as I try to be a good friend, I have limits. As much as I try to be a good friend, these people here do not love me. The people in KS, for example, love me even I often wonder why, and I love them. If one of the adults in that family were to call me right now and say they needed me, I'd be there by tomorrow afternoon. Me, the dog, the banjo would be in the gassed up car, we'd cross our fingers (paws?) that the car will be okay, and thank god I have an AAA membership. I'd be honored that they asked.
It seems to come down to breathing. I can breath with my Kansas friends, not matter what is going on. Even if we get mad at each other, we breath and get over it. Does that sound weird?
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Stop plate tectonics!
and while we're at it ...
Free kittens!
and
Free the bound morpheme!
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mdwlark
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« Reply #108 on: December 13, 2009, 09:43:12 PM » |
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Kansas is an 8 hour drive away, and I worry about my car ... I have family here, but I will only get a half day with them at Christmas, as they are rather jealous and protective of the one daughter that will be in town. Given the rough life I've led, I'm seen as something of a bad influence. It's a "healthy boundaries" thing.
I think I got something here: as much as I try to be a good friend, I have limits. As much as I try to be a good friend, these people here do not love me. The people in KS, for example, love me even I often wonder why, and I love them. If one of the adults in that family were to call me right now and say they needed me, I'd be there by tomorrow afternoon. Me, the dog, the banjo would be in the gassed up car, we'd cross our fingers (paws?) that the car will be okay, and thank god I have an AAA membership. I'd be honored that they asked.
It seems to come down to breathing. I can breath with my Kansas friends, not matter what is going on. Even if we get mad at each other, we breath and get over it. Does that sound weird?
It doesn't sound weird at all. It sounds life affirming. Have a lovely holiday with your friends in Kansas. I don't recall, does roommate/landlord scream, moan and groan when her sister is NOT present? Is that something she turns on, or turns up, when sister arrives? |
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bud04
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« Reply #109 on: December 13, 2009, 11:47:31 PM » |
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I agree with Mdwlark. I think you should go where you are loved and where people value you. You deserve it. It will be good for you as it is for all of us to be with the ones who love us best. So plan to leave your roommate and her problems far behind and go be with your friends.
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buglet
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« Reply #110 on: December 14, 2009, 03:27:55 AM » |
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Get out of there and go to Kansas for the holidays and spend them with people who love you. That is what they are all about. Getting away will give you a sense of perspective about the inappropriate behavior of your roommate. And for pete's sake, go to work on Friday if you need the money. You don't have to take care of your roommate and forgo money that you need.
I'd really, really suggest that after the holidays you get a new place to live. Really. You can find somewhere where you are not caught up in such drama. I know moving is a pain in the rear, but it is short-term pain whereas your living situation sounds like long-term pain and hassle. Hang in there.
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ursula
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« Reply #111 on: December 14, 2009, 03:36:29 PM » |
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Go to Kansas. Seriously: how could anyone (anyone sane, that is) object to you travelling for the holidays? Aren't we all SUPPOSED to want to spend them with friends and family?
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"Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair."
Jack Layton, 1950-2011
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sikora
Looking for something, but forgot what it was.
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 4,910
Arrggh! WTF??
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« Reply #112 on: December 14, 2009, 05:29:26 PM » |
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I have the invitation. I just worry about my car and about travel conditions. Of all things, my mother will nearly panic if I travel in winter by car :)
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Stop plate tectonics!
and while we're at it ...
Free kittens!
and
Free the bound morpheme!
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history_grrrl
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« Reply #113 on: December 14, 2009, 06:00:16 PM » |
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So let her nearly panic; it's her choice if she wants to respond that way. You put a lot of energy into trying to please others. I realize this is because, in some ways, it can make your life easier. But it's important to do some things just to please yourself, too. This trip sounds like one of them. Enjoy!
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[R]eality sometimes has a left-wing bias.
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bud04
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« Reply #114 on: December 14, 2009, 07:52:05 PM » |
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I agree with History_grrrl. Go. Don't worry about your mom. Make sure your AAA is up to date, your car is serviced, and you have a cell phone. Then just go have fun! This will be so good for you!
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sikora
Looking for something, but forgot what it was.
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 4,910
Arrggh! WTF??
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« Reply #115 on: December 14, 2009, 09:05:46 PM » |
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Okay, how's this. I just got this PM on my FB page from my friends' youngest daughter: "hi sikora, i am hoping for you to come down this year!!!!!PLEASE!!!z" OMG, Can I say no? This follows an invitation from both Mom and Dad. Does going down on the 23rd and coming back on the 27th sound reasonable? It's amazing. There is this family of five, I love them all so much and they love me, just because I am. They want nothing from me but my presence, and for me, likewise. Sometimes I think the best families are the ones we find and create. |
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Stop plate tectonics!
and while we're at it ...
Free kittens!
and
Free the bound morpheme!
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mdwlark
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« Reply #116 on: December 14, 2009, 09:07:23 PM » |
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I have the invitation. I just worry about my car and about travel conditions. Of all things, my mother will nearly panic if I travel in winter by car :)
Made me chuckle. When my dad was alive, every time we got a big snow storm, he called me up and said, "You're not planning on going to work in this weather today are you?" And I would say, "Of course I'm going to work." Dad: "Oh you shouldn't travel in this weather. I think you should stay home." Sikora, have a wonderful triip. |
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bud04
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« Reply #117 on: December 14, 2009, 10:43:46 PM » |
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No you can't turn them down. They want you to come to visit. Just go. And I do agree with you: Sometimes the best families are the ones you create. So visit your created "family" and be loved!
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buglet
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« Reply #118 on: December 15, 2009, 03:39:33 AM » |
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But it's important to do some things just to please yourself, too.
Chime....off to Kansas you go. When you come back, you can turn to your dog, and say...you know we aren't in Kansas anymore. (Couldn't resist). Have a great and well-deserved holiday, Sikora. |
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sikora
Looking for something, but forgot what it was.
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 4,910
Arrggh! WTF??
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« Reply #119 on: December 15, 2009, 09:49:53 AM » |
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Anybody know what the weather is going to be along I35 through Iowa next week?
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Stop plate tectonics!
and while we're at it ...
Free kittens!
and
Free the bound morpheme!
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