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[epinonymous]

I just learned that there is an extremely high likelihood (>95%) that I have a malignant (but treatable) cancer that will likely require surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy. While I am waiting to determine my exact treatment options, I am trying to figure out how/when to tell my department head and colleagues. I just started my first year at a tenure track job at a research-intensive university.

A couple of quick questions:

1) I am preparing a proposal for an internal research grant to support some basic equipment needs associated with my research. My inclination is to get this completed ASAP and submitted for consideration before I tell have to tell anyone. Would this be considered bad form?

2) Since I am so new here, I am really focused on trying to remain calm and professional. When I know what my exact schedule of treatments will be, I was planning on calmly telling my department head and then sending a matter-of-fact email to my colleagues. Does this sound like an appropriate approach?

3) I am scheduled to teach 2 courses in the spring. Depending on my treatment regime, I am a bit concerned about this load. Although I know there is no such thing as "typical" in this case, do you know of someone who was given a course relief while going through chemo/radiation?

Thanks in advance for any assistance.

[tuxedo_cat]

First:  I am so deeply sorry to hear that you are facing such a daunting challenge.  Since it looks like you're relatively new to the boards, you should know that people here are enormously supportive and will have much wise and compassionate advice.

I'm not in the sciences, so others will have better advice about how to handle the grant question.  I'm inclined to think that your medical treatment for the moment is entirely your own business, and if you have any reason to believe that you might face any discrimination because of your illness, I think it's fine to wait to inform people.  It's not like the equipment won't still be available to you after your recovery period.

As for teaching in the spring, well, I believe this is what "medical leave" is for.  Your first priority obviously should be taking care of your health and getting through all the stages of your treatment with the best possible support and the ability to devote your energy to your treatment and recovery.  One would hope that your department and university will be compassionate about what you're going through.  But it's hard when you're so new!  You don't know people or whom you could trust for advice.

You might contact the ombudsperson on your campus.  I believe you could discuss your situation in confidentiality with this person, and he or she might be able to tell you the best way to proceed regarding questions of disclosure, teaching, etc.  S/he might also be able to put you in contact with another faculty member who has been through a similarly challenging treatment.  Can someone else confirm this re the confidentiality issue?

I wish you the best -- I hope you have family or friends who can come to be with you as you go through all of this.

[biomancer]

First, Epinonymous, I'm sorry to hear this, and I wish you a swift and full recovery.

I've watched a couple good friends go through this - cancer during the tenure track in the sciences (and had a scare myself earlier this year).  Here's what I have learned from them:

(1)  Tell your chair and dean NOW.  Get your tenure clock stopped before you start chemo.  This will be much more simple that going back and explaining to the tenure committee why you were so unproductive in your first couple of years (or, if your school is like the PretentiousSLAC I left for my current job, you won't make it through your first major review to get to that meeting with the tenure committee).  Seriously, the more up-front you are about this, the more your school will be able to work things out in your favor.  If you keep this quiet, your job will suffer because the people who make decisions about your future will think you're just slacking.

(2)  If the grant is one that you can only get in your first year, get it out now.  If it can wait, make it wait, unless you're so close to finished with it that it just makes sense to get it out.  Now, that being said, if you have a couple papers or proposals that you can be working on while you're sitting there with the chemo IV every two weeks, this will help distract you from the chemo and help your tenure case.  Make sure you've got a few people who are scrupulous editors to look it over before you submit anything, though.  "Chemo brain" can really mess with your thought processes and your writing skills.

(3)  As for the classes, discuss a few options with your chair.  Medical leave is certainly one of those options.  If that's not possible, here are a few thoughts. Could you get a TA or several to help you with lab set-up, grading, etc.?  Can you rearrange the course schedule so that you, for example, teach everything Tue/Thur, and go for chemo on Friday, and thus have a couple days to recover before the next class?  (Everyone I know who has gone through chemo says the day or two after chemo they felt completely flattened, and didn't have the energy to teach.)   If you can't rearrange the schedule, can you team-teach to decrease your workload?  Can you do a course online, so that you can work from home if you're too wiped out to come in?

(4)  Regarding #3 and everything else - you'll need to have some fall-back plans in case things don't go 100% smoothly.  One of my friends went in to have what the doctor thought were a couple medium-sized tumors removed, and ended up losing over 30 pounds on the operating table and having a foot-long incision to heal up from.  Needless to say, she wasn't able to teach anything else that term, but other members of the department were able to pick up her courses.  Since she lived alone, her best friend coordinated the rest of us to provide meals, run errands, and so on while she recovered.  I know that's a lot harder to do when you're the new prof in the department, but having a couple people to confide in and rely on will make everything go a LOT smoother.

(5)  Regarding #4 and coordinating everything else  - you have gotten to know the department secretary or other appropriate administrative staff, right?  (Isn't that rule #1 of life on the tenure track?)   Assuming that you don't have the admin-assistant from hell, I'd bet that s/he will help you to coordinate a lot of these things, and can help you navigate through this.  Your chair, of course, is most likely your best guidance, but at the schools I've been at, it's the admin-staff who will help to rally people to bring you food, give you rides to and from the hospital so you're not driving post-treatment, and generally make sure that you're being looked after and not left alone (unless you want to be left alone).


All that being said... may your surgeons get all the bad stuff out in one bout of surgery.  May the radiation and chemo be enough to kill the cancer but not leave you feeling like you've been hit by a train.  May the cancer flee your body never to return.  May you live a long, happy and healthy life, be a great teacher and researcher, and get tenured and promoted.

If I can be of any further help, feel free to PM me.

[alleyoxenfree]

It is possible to get course relief because of treatment and it would be a good idea. 

We tend to think we are all superhuman, because we had to be in order to get where we are.  However, physically, even if you are up to leaping tall buildings while in treatment, or think you are, your longterm recovery could be faster if you do not try to.  Depending on when your treatment is timed, you will probably need a few weeks of bedrest after surgery.  Radiation can go well initially and then sometimes hits like a truck after a few weeks.  People seem to vary with both radiation and chemo.  The contingency plans recommended above are all good.  But keep in mind that it's not what you can get through for the semester.  It's, what can you do to ensure a lifetime and career of good health, despite this blip at the beginning?

Also, get a support group at the hospital or elsewhere so that you can talk about medical things with people other than colleagues.  And get some help with other things, like bill paying or housework, so that you can get a lot of rest when you are not in treatment or teaching.

[southerntransplant]

I'm sorry to hear this. I wish you a full and complete recovery.

Ten years ago I had lymphoma. I was in a research environment, though not an academic one, and while the pressures were different, they were pressures just the same. Despite my immensely proud nature, I had to admit that I could not do it all. The chemo just plain made me ill, weak and fatigued, and the last thing you want to do is push yourself, especially with a debilitated white blood cell count.

Try to get out of what you can. There are faculty here who have gotten course relief due to medical emergencies. Use this.

Good luck.

[barred_owl]

I'm sorry to hear your news, too, epinonymous. 

I had a colleague who went through a bout with a very rare cancer that could only be treated by chemo.  He was able to secure course releases for the semester in which the chemo occurred (it was a spring semester), then held off on teaching any summer courses.  He would occasionally come in to work on writing and conduct advising sessions, but that was it.  His main complaint, when we saw him, was the fatigue.

If you can arrange it, course release will certainly help in the long run; inquiring about resetting your tenure clock is important, too.

Best wishes for speedy treatment and recovery--and for having an understanding, compassionate set of colleagues and administrators to help guide your plans.

[alleyoxenfree]

Another tip if you have a long walk across campus is to talk to Security about getting a handicapped parking permit for awhile, so your energies can be conserved.

Best of luck with everything, and know that you will get through it one treatment and/or step at a time.

[hegemony]

I'm so sorry to hear this, and glad that the prognosis looks good.

We had a colleague here that went through this, and on her first year tenure-track too.  She got a semester off, and could have had more if she had needed it.  There were no problems with the leave or the arrangements.  So don't worry at all -- it's happened many times before.  I would let those concerned know before they have to set any plans in place that might need to be reworked with your leave.  Best of luck with it all.

[seventhyear]

Although I haven't been through this myself, I just came off of leave from taking care of my parents.

1.  Check faculty handbook on medical leave policies.  Most are half pay.
2.  Talk to your Chair and HR representatives NOW.
3.  Once you get the diagnosis, go on leave, if you can wait until spring, great, if not, go now.
4.  Apply to stop your tenure clock

I knew I had to take a leave.  I knew I could not work effectively with my Dad's diagnosis.  When you're on the TT, working ineffectively isn't an option.  But by making it "official" had a way to get all of the info into my tenure file without making it look like I was "making excuses" for any performance.  The letters outlining my parents' medical situations are there, they will be read, but I'm not asking for special consideration. 

[tolerantly]

Agreed.  Use what there is.  I say this as the daughter of a prof who refused to stop working during his own chemo treatment, and indeed picked up an early-morning job driving truck to pay for whatever insurance didn't cover.  We used to find him unconscious in the living room.  Don't do this.

[msparticularity]

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this! While I do not have personal experience, I have watched several close friends and relatives go through it.

My one additional suggestion is that it may not be entirely clear just exactly what you will need to do about workload until your treatment actually gets started. I have seen some people laid pretty low by chemo, leaving them completely unable to do much of any work for the entire duration. In a couple of other cases, while a rearrangement of the schedule was needed, and a backup arrangement with a TA to cover classes occasionally, some work (at a lightened load) was a welcome distraction.

[kedves]

No personal experience, just observation of others close to me here, too.  To the advice to take to the full extent whatever your medical leave benefits will give you and to take a tenure-clock  time-out, I wanted to add that chemo produces cognition issues for many people.  It doesn't have that effect for everyone, but if it does for you, the book Your Brain After Chemo might be helpful for reassurance that it is not imaginary and for explanations and strategies.  Best wishes.

[epinonymous]

Thanks to everyone for the warm wishes and good advice. I really appreciate it.

Onward and upward.

[dr_evil]

I don't have any personal experience with this, but it looks like you've received some good advice so far.  I'd like to join the others in encouraging you to look into a medical leave.  I know someone who did this and it made it much easier for this person to focus on health issues.

Also, do you have friends and family that can help you through this difficult time?  They can be wonderful when you need someone to give you a hand, especially if you feel like you can't approach your new colleagues, although you may find many of them happy to help too.

I'm so sorry you've found yourself in this situation, but I wish you a smooth recovery. 

[hobbit]

My one additional suggestion is that it may not be entirely clear just exactly what you will need to do about workload until your treatment actually gets started. I have seen some people laid pretty low by chemo, leaving them completely unable to do much of any work for the entire duration. In a couple of other cases, while a rearrangement of the schedule was needed, and a backup arrangement with a TA to cover classes occasionally, some work (at a lightened load) was a welcome distraction.

I agree. Everyone responds to chemo differently, although most who also get radiation have to deal with some fairly serious fatigue. Most of the working patients who come to our clinic for chemo have rearranged their workloads and lightened them, but very few take extended leave once they have recovered from surgery. It can be harder to transition back to the workplace if there is a complete and lengthy break. Having said that, these patients make sure to communicate their side effects to their oncologist, and ask that the side effects be treated as well.

Although I support having your responsibilities reduced, I think it's very important to stop in, get your mail, talk about the courses, and stay involved (to the extent of your ability) so that it's easier to resume your work when you have completed treatment. Best wishes to you at this challenging and difficult time. And a previous poster is right - you'll get lots of support here, so please post as often as you are comfortable doing so.