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[frogfactory]

I cannot frigging shut up in discussion.  There are quieter students in the class who maybe want some time/breathing space to contribute.  There are younger students who might even be intimidated.  Three people + the Prof ever seem to talk in discussion.  I have plenty to say, and the topic is interesting, but this is not drinks and nibbles after a seminar; it's a discussion class.

The instructor emailed me today to tell me she appreciated my input.  I emailed her back to say that I enjoyed the class but was aware that I'm overcontributing and should keep a lid on it to make sure other students who aren't so fond of the sound of their own voice have a chance to participate.

I'm not sure that was the right response, but I feel bad about being that student again, even though I told myself I'd try not to be.

[kedves]

Are you commenting, or asking for suggestions? 

If the latter, my thoughts are based completely on my own habits of chattiness and silence.  Is your caffeine level just right or too high?  Are you hungry?  When I want to force myself to stay out of a group discussion, I sit farther away from the discussion leader.  Somehow, being not-so-much in the main interactional space makes me feel more separate from it.  I can also observe other people from that spot more than I can when I am in the middle of things.  I know that is not always easy; seating tends to become set in a class. 

[lolar2]

I'm usually not *that* student, but there have been a few classes where I tended that way. Sometimes I would look around at the other students and see if they looked as though they were thinking of something to say, and might say something if they had a lot of time to think of it. Then if I saw an expression like that, I literally bit my tongue. I sat there with my teeth sinking into my tongue until someone else spoke.

[asteria]

I have *that* student tendencies, so I try to limit myself to 30 seconds or a minute before I shut up again. Why sit back and shut up if you can make an important contribution? Just be as brief as you can be. *Those* students aren't leading the seminar, so there is no reason for them to develop their comments "to make sure everybody gets it"--the prof will tell you if you need to elaborate.

[frogfactory]

Are you commenting, or asking for suggestions? 

Both, really.  Suggestions and sharing are appreciated.  Thanks

[vardahilwen]

I have the same problem - I sometimes talk too much in seminar, and fight the urge to interrupt (a personal failing I'm working on).  When I catch myself "over-contributing," I actually write "STFU" in my notes, and force myself to wait X minutes before talking again.  I know I'm not the most important person in the room, nor do I have the most profound things to say - I just get over-excited sometimes.

In the latter part of the session, if I've already said a lot, I'll just tell myself to keep quiet for the remainder of class time.

The important thing is that you're aware of this tendency.  Create some guidelines for yourself.
 

[tinyzombie]

I want to be that student again.

[dellaroux]

Only 25 posts to go and you'll be there!

:--}

[commcycle]

I cannot frigging shut up in discussion.  There are quieter students in the class who maybe want some time/breathing space to contribute.  There are younger students who might even be intimidated.  Three people + the Prof ever seem to talk in discussion.  I have plenty to say, and the topic is interesting, but this is not drinks and nibbles after a seminar; it's a discussion class.

The instructor emailed me today to tell me she appreciated my input.  I emailed her back to say that I enjoyed the class but was aware that I'm overcontributing and should keep a lid on it to make sure other students who aren't so fond of the sound of their own voice have a chance to participate.

I'm not sure that was the right response, but I feel bad about being that student again, even though I told myself I'd try not to be.

Your over-contributions probably don't reflect as badly on you as you think. I know I'm much harder on my own class responses than I am on other people's. If anything, most of the time heavy contributors draw attention more to the people in the class who don't say anything at all.

I'm also frequently "that student" and am painfully aware of it. I'm over-caffeinated, and because I've taught, have zero fear of speaking frankly in front of a class. This is a deadly combination. Another of my not-so-great habits is to talk over people when I get on a roll, although I keep this mostly in-check in the classroom.

I've been writing down comments I have, rather than opening my mouth every time. Keeping it brief helps - if your contribution is short, it's much easier for a moderator/professor to get the discussion back on-track.

What you don't want to be is an egomaniac, or dominate the class with completely unrelated chit-chat. There's one student in my class who is really difficult and a complete know-it-all. Earlier this week hu corrected a professor's definition by using a book definition..... out of a text the professor wrote. Hilarious! Hu's attitude over email is also something to behold.

[smallways]

As a "that" student myself, I sympathize. I have three suggestions:

1. Don't be too hard on yourself. Your prof went out of her way to praise your contributions. You're clearly doing something right, even if your delivery could use some tweaking.

2. As others have said, make comments that open up points of discussion for other people. Since you're clearly comfortable talking, you may be able to deliberately work to engage people who don't normally speak much. If a quiet person makes a comment that gets lost in discussion, sometimes I'll pick it up, expand on it, and then throw it back to them to give them a chance to talk more. When I was a new student, having one of the chatty, knowledgeable people at the table pick up on my ideas was a big confidence boost. You might help increase the range of contributions in your class.

3. *sports analogy alert* When I played basketball, the coach made us pass at least three times before anyone was allowed to shoot to discourage ball hogging. Try waiting for three or four other people to talk before you let yourself talk again. Part of why I talk a lot is because I cannot freaking stand those awkward silences. I find that if I leave them there for a while, though, someone else will jump in.

[dellaroux]

Excuse me? You're prepared for class, you know the answers being requested, you can articulate intelligent ideas and you think you need to stifle yourself?

While your prof could and should indeed make more effort to get others to contribute, I don't like the idea of people thinking they have to silence their own voice in reasonable settings to "get along."

Where there is contention, of course one doesn't add fuel to the fire.

Where there is a setting in which you stand out as someone who knows their stuff and can contribute to the conversation, as long as your input is modulated, sensible and not personally vaunted, you should be speaking up.

How will people know you're a reliable collaborator otherwise?

Sheesh.

[vardahilwen]

Fair point, dellaroux, but in the moment, sometimes one gets the feeling that one is hogging the floor.  Sometimes people need to chew on an idea for a moment before they speak.  I've seen people timidly raise their hands, but then when they are finally called on, they say that somebody else has already made their point, or the moment has passed.  I think part of being a good colleague is valuing the contributions of others.  That's what we're trying to do.

[dellaroux]

Right, and I agree with that in the wider sense. Conversation differs from monologue, and all that. And I can see learning how to think things through so you can say them more quickly or succinctly--the same as with writing, so your audience doesn't give up on you.

But I also think there's an issue, perhaps especially still for females, but not only a gender-based one, about "silencing" to make others feel good. It seems to me to be a more nuanced one than simply the use of the "that student" nickname, which objectifies the individual as if they had made themselves a nonentity to others just by participating enthusiastically.

The idea of leveraging out those who are involved in their work, in favor of the great vapid masses who aren't, makes me a bit tetchity (obviously!).

When one is confronted with a sea of blank faces for every question, one wishes for at least a few willing voices to keep the academic conversation alive.

And that over time, not just within the classroom.

[tinyboss]

While your prof could and should indeed make more effort to get others to contribute, I don't like the idea of people thinking they have to silence their own voice in reasonable settings to "get along."

I can be "that student" in two of my classes, and as dellaroux suggests, I trust the instructors to keep me in check.  One of them is fastidious about targeting at least half the questions to someone in particular, rather than the class at large, and he's not afraid to ask us to "let other people talk" if we're too aggressive.  In that class, I generally don't speak up unless I think nobody else is going to--I don't want to waste my "credits" on pedestrian stuff. 

The other prof doesn't seem to care, and I'm not shy about speaking up in his class.  I don't talk over anyone, and I don't rush to be the first to answer, but I certainly won't make the prof answer his own question because nobody is speaking up and I've already talked three times.

[nikolite]

Excuse me? You're prepared for class, you know the answers being requested, you can articulate intelligent ideas and you think you need to stifle yourself?

While your prof could and should indeed make more effort to get others to contribute, I don't like the idea of people thinking they have to silence their own voice in reasonable settings to "get along."

Where there is contention, of course one doesn't add fuel to the fire.

Where there is a setting in which you stand out as someone who knows their stuff and can contribute to the conversation, as long as your input is modulated, sensible and not personally vaunted, you should be speaking up.

How will people know you're a reliable collaborator otherwise?

Sheesh.

For most of the quiet ones its not just a matter of being crazy shy, or not being prepared for class, or being inarticulate or unintelligent.  A lot of times talking in class can turn into what seems like a thought race, because certain students are just repeatedly quick to answer.  For instance, there are some students in my seminars that dart their hands up or jump in before the prof barely finishes their question/thought at every moment.  This discourages others from talking because if you can't formulate your response quick enough, you're screwed.  Their not contributing, their dominating, and their assuming their thoughts are immensely valuable while others' aren't.  (these same students are usually bizarrely quiet with some questions, so they come off as simply not knowing the answer, or else they'd be jumping out of their seat)

I've not had enough time to think a number of times and how much I talk depends very much on whether or not there are dominating students.  Not being unprepared or being shy (I am in no way a shy person).  

I can sometimes be "that" student and talk a lot because I am passionate about a topic, but I otherwise allow others to speak too.  Most of the time I make sure I allow enough time for everyone--and myself--to think first (7-10 seconds) and then I speak.  It may seem that I don't get a chance to demonstrate what I know, but usually this allows me to look like the quiet, wise person that only speaks (and passionately so) when they have something really important or profound to say or when the questions are really tough.  Or at least I like to hope that's what's going on.  Its worked really well and helped me to stand out so far without looking like a prick.

Plus, there's no need to answer EVERY single question to make a contribution.  You know the answer, the teacher knows you know the answer, what's the point in participating in a discussion if its all about what you already know.  Its much wiser to sit back and listen to what bits of information you missed or different perspectives you hadn't thought about.