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[kedves]

I was no pushy outsider, I kept values dear
I was a good girl
Before Ms. took over me
I was no fighter, I dared not fuss on a thread
Now I stand accused of the things I've said

When Ms. comes to town I'm gonna jump that train
When Ms. comes to town I'm gonna catch that flame
Maybe I was wrong to ever let you down
But I'm not the same woman since Ms. came to town.

[prof_smartypants]

Sung to "When Love Comes to Town", I presume?

[kedves]

Sung to "When Love Comes to Town", I presume?

Yes.

[baphd1996]

In my experience, Ph.D.'s are less likely to insist on being called doctors than DDS's, MD's, DVM's or DPM's.  I'm not quite sure why that is.  I often laugh at those who sign their name "Dr. So and so, M.D."  It's a little redundant.

However, when I was job hunting an administrative assistant noticed that my graduation date had not yet passed.  I had completed all my work, had everything signed off and even moved away from the school, months before graduation.  I wasn't ABD, I was ABW (all but walked).  I got the job, but the administrative assistant made a big deal about not calling me Dr.  Normally I wouldn't have cared, most people still don't call me Dr., but her attitude was such that once the oficial graduation date passed I made sure to stop by her office daily just to make her call me Dr.

I had friends that were bar owners.  Occasionaly I would help out to make a few extra bucks.  One of my students frequented the bar.  Eventually she told me that she felt odd being the only one there callng me Dr. and asked if she could refer to me by my first name while there.  I sort of understood her argument so I told her it would be alright, but only in that situation.  Well, the next class we had she stood up and said "Hey 'first name' blah blah blah"!  She had clearly violated our agreement, and I had to correct her, but the other students then started calling me by my first name.  It took awhile, I guess, to reverse the damage.

[rowan1]

picking up from a previous thread

There was a waiter at a restaurant we frequented to called us all "MiLady" it was creepy.  Really creepy. 

I don't get hung up on the "how do they address me" thing.

I prefer Ms to Mrs.  I hate when people assume that my husband and I share a last name (we don't) but we do get a lot of silly pun humor out of potential mix ups.  But I have more important things to stress about.  I do take the opportunity to explain to students why I prefer Ms to Mrs. why Professor Rowan's Last name is an appropriate way to address me and not Dr.  Since moving to the South I have been nearly Ma'am-ed to death, but that didn't prepare me for the English kids I taught this summer who all called me Miss.  Somehow the accent made is easier to get used to.

My students mostly call me Rowan, and I am good with that.

[t_r_b]

In hopes of offering an appropriate contribution for this thread, I've just scoured YouTube for a clip of Helen Mirren's answer to an unwelcome form of address ("don't call me Marm: I'm not the bloody queen.") No luck, so you'll just have to imagine it.

[toothpaste]

However, when I was job hunting an administrative assistant noticed that my graduation date had not yet passed.  I had completed all my work, had everything signed off and even moved away from the school, months before graduation.  I wasn't ABD, I was ABW (all but walked).  I got the job, but the administrative assistant made a big deal about not calling me Dr.  Normally I wouldn't have cared, most people still don't call me Dr., but her attitude was such that once the oficial graduation date passed I made sure to stop by her office daily just to make her call me Dr.

This reminds me when an old friend of my partner tracked him down in his department, where he --a PhD--is teaching staff but not faculty. The old friend asked for Dr. (Mr. Toothpaste), and the secretary insisted that there was no "Dr. (Mr. Toothpaste)," although there was a "Mr. (Mr. Toothpaste)." Her reasoning? He wasn't a professor, so he wasn't entitled to Dr.

Of course, you have to imagine Mr. Toothpaste having his own last name, not mine.

[llanfair]

... an old friend of my partner tracked him down in his department, where he --a PhD--is teaching staff but not faculty. The old friend asked for Dr. (Mr. Toothpaste), and the secretary insisted that there was no "Dr. (Mr. Toothpaste)," although there was a "Mr. (Mr. Toothpaste)." Her reasoning? He wasn't a professor, so he wasn't entitled to Dr.

Wow.  Just wow.

[hipgeek]

I get called "Ms." fairly regularly. 

I am fine with either "Prof. Geek" or just "Hip"  but I have some interesting students this semester, one who calls me "Miss Hip" (which makes me feel like an old southern belle) and another who on her papers lists my name as "Miss Prof. Hip"."  I even got one that writes "Pro Hip" on the papers, and it's true I am a pro.

Really, I prefer anything that is spelled correctly and more respectful than "Hey."

[redding]

I'm curious about what's going on.  Those of you who have a problem with students' using a name prefix or name that you don't like:  Do you state your preference on day one and the students forget or ignore it, or do you not state it until you want to correct someone? 

And are you telling them that professors in general should not be addressed as "Mrs.," or only that it is your preference?

I tell them on the first day and they forget.

I also tell them that if a professor hasn't told them a preference of how they'd like to be adressed, then "Professor So-and_So" is a safe option.  I tell them not to assume "Mrs." because it implies that a woman is married, which can be construed as rudeness. 

I go over all of this in a little presentation that I give that covers email etiquette, classroom behavior and so on. 

This is exactly what I do.  I make it part of the lesson on general email style.  I still get Mrs. occasionally, but it has cut way down on this. 

Several people mentioned upthread that both "Miss" and "Mrs." are pronounced "Miz" in several parts of the south.  This is what I heard growing up, and I think that when my Midwestern students say "missus," this is what drives me craziest.

[phlegmatic]

Ah, my first "Mrs." I came up North from the South where I somehow successfully evaded the "Miss firstname" epidemic. This one wins because it is also horribly written!

how are you mrs. phlegmatic, i have a really good idea for my proposal and it is to [insert poorly-thought-out-and-written proposal here]. it will be very interesting to the reactions i will be getting. thank you.

I responded to the (bad) proposal, and then ended with something I had seen here: "By the way, Mrs. Phlegmatic is my mom. I'm Dr. Phlegmatic. :)"

[mystictechgal]

Wait.  You included the emoticon?  Why?

[phlegmatic]

Wait.  You included the emoticon?  Why?

I am very jovial in class and didn't want to sound like I was coming down too hard on this student. This is a class of first-year college students, and I think they are not getting a very good education on "how to be a student" in their freshmen seminars. So I try to teach them as we go along. I don't think it was purposeful--I think many of the first years at my college just haven't learned yet.

[mystictechgal]

Wait.  You included the emoticon?  Why?

I am very jovial in class and didn't want to sound like I was coming down too hard on this student. This is a class of first-year college students, and I think they are not getting a very good education on "how to be a student" in their freshmen seminars. So I try to teach them as we go along. I don't think it was purposeful--I think many of the first years at my college just haven't learned yet.

Wow.  If simply making a statement (already worded in a joking manner even without the emoticon) about how you'd like to be addressed would be interpreted as "coming down too hard", their psyches must be very easily bruised &/or they are seriously humor impaired.  Whatever works, I guess.

[grasshopper]

For the first time ever, I'm getting "Mrs"-ed.

I'm not particularly offended by it, but I think it's a good opportunity to teach them proper forms of address. So I've been dealing with it by signing emails as Prof. Hopper, and (which is much more fun for me) referring to myself in the third person in class: "Then I said to myself, 'Professor Hopper, what do you think is the best course of action here?'" or, "... and a friend said to me, 'Grassy, you should do this.' Of course, he was my friend so I didn't make him call me Prof. Hopper."

I think that the more they hear me being addressed that way, the more they'll understand it as normative. It seems to be working.