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[the_honey_badger]

I went to one of those links and laughed until I cried. This stood out though as emblematic:

To Kill a Mockingbird (1960)
Author: Harper Lee

“I don’t see why this book is so fabulous. I would give it a zero. I find no point in writing a book about segregation, there’s no way of making it into an enjoyable book. And yes I am totally against segregation.”

[mountainguy]

I went to one of those links and laughed until I cried. This stood out though as emblematic:

To Kill a Mockingbird (1960)
Author: Harper Lee

“I don’t see why this book is so fabulous. I would give it a zero. I find no point in writing a book about segregation, there’s no way of making it into an enjoyable book. And yes I am totally against segregation.”

Good grief!

[mountainguy]

My favorite from one of those links. A review of Dr. Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb:

"If I know the film recorded black and white styl, I didn’t bay it."

[mdwlark]

Well, we don't need to reprint the whole list here, but the funniest one to me was the description of Hemingway's The Sun Also Rises:

“Here’s the first half of the book: ‘We had dinner and a few drinks. We went to a cafe and talked and had some drinks. We ate dinner and had a few drinks. Dinner. Drinks. More dinner. More drinks. We took a cab here (or there) in Paris and had some drinks, and maybe we danced and flirted and talked sh*t about somebody. More dinner. More drinks. I love you, I hate you, maybe you should come up to my room, no you can’t’… I flipped through the second half of the book a day or two later and saw the words ‘dinner’ and ‘drinks’ on nearly every page and figured it wasn’t worth the risk.”

[punchnpie]

Mother of mercy -

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
“I guess if you were interested in crazy people this is the book for you.”

I hope some of these reviews are tongue-in-cheek, but I'm afraid that most of them are serious.

[macaroon]

Is this it? http://www.themorningnews.org/archives/reviews/lone_star_statements.php

Even if it's not, it's still pretty darn funny.

Thanks!  I loved the one-star review of Gravity's Rainbow!

[scratch32]

I'm pretty sure that Dave Eggers did a bunch of these parodic reviews for McSweeney's that he also posted on Amazon a long while back.

The only one I remember was for Wuthering Heights. Eggers's review: "What's so wuthering about them?"

[svenc]

To the OP:

What you call hypocricy, I would call inappropriate incentives.  The former implies an intent that I just do not think is there.  Yes, the pursuit of learning is not always prioritized in today's higher learning institutions, but it's because people are actively being forced in other directions, not malignantly choosing to ignore learning.  We need ways of nudging the incentives back into line with what really matters in the classroom.

Unfortuantely, the top-down approaches being pursued by accreditation agencies are unlikely to get us any closer (and many here would say they move us in the wrong direction), and I don't see any other major stakeholders even trying to do something meaningful in this regard.

The good news is that individual institutions CAN make improvements.  I am convinced of this because of my experience at two similarly oriented institutions in the last few years (i.e., both large public research universities).  One of them really has great things going on in undergraduate classrooms, because of a formal incentive structure in place that makes ample use of sticks, carrots, and supports; the other is fully steeped in the "customer service" mentality that you bemoan above.

On a more personal note, I think you would have fewer frustrations if you were in a more stable and permanent teaching position.  There are things we can accomplish in our own classrooms even when the administration and staff are not directly supporting learning as a priority outcome, but they require losing (or ignoring) the sensation of eggshells under our feet.

[rcjett]

(((((( To be honest, I kinda-sorta-little feel the same way about Hemingway's "The Sun Also Rises" as the reviewer...)))))

[prytania3]

Oh for pity's sake. I complain about my job because I don't get paid enough. And honestly, I would probably have the same complaint if I were Bill Gates, but I'm so sick of the perpetual whining about "No one really cares about education. Everyone just cares about money. Professors hand out A's just to be popular..." yadda yadda yadda.

You've been an adjunct for 12 years. That would make *anyone* unhappy unless it was an aside job or your spouse makes plenty of dough.

Besides, most people (reasonable ones, anyway) go to college so they can make more money.

This is the United States. We are capitalists here.

Art for art's sake but money for God's sake.

[mdwlark]

(((((( To be honest, I kinda-sorta-little feel the same way about Hemingway's "The Sun Also Rises" as the reviewer...)))))

That's why it was so funny.  There is just a kernel of truth in it.

[tee_bee]

(((((( To be honest, I kinda-sorta-little feel the same way about Hemingway's "The Sun Also Rises" as the reviewer...)))))

Sorry. Best. Hemingway. Novel. Ever. I would have loved to have been an expat, in Paris, with a lot of dinner and drinking. Hemingway, in A Moveable Feast, also said that one shouldn't look like one is making an effort to be a journalist. Not the exact quote, but if you replace "journalist" with "academic," it's still good.

Besides, it wasn't just dinner and drinking. It was dinner, drinking, fishing, bullfights, and impotence. What's not to love?

Now, if we want to talk about what a hack Faulkner was....http://www.theonion.com/content/node/37422.

Is the OP really serious in his/her complaint? It sounds like the words of a frustrated teacher, except an order of two of magnitude more angry and bitter. Which is why we have these fora. But, really, if it sucks this bad, why not quit? It's not the same everywhere. Yes, assessment of teaching generally sucks (ya know, enough EdD's in a room with enough typewriters and scantrons....) but there are other ways to demonstrate performance, enhance student outcomes, etc.

And I say all this with full knowledge that (1) "student outcomes" is edujargon whose "coiner" should be punished, and (2) I am a pretty mediocre teacher. Yet I am getting better, and having more fun with it. It just takes time, I think.

[melba_frilkins]

You need to stop caring one thing or another. That is, either stop worrying about academic standards and just have fun with your classes. Or stop worrying about student/admin complaints and keep your academic standards high. And if the latter gets you fired, well, that solves your dilemma.

[embitteredhistorian]

You need to stop caring one thing or another. That is, either stop worrying about academic standards and just have fun with your classes. Or stop worrying about student/admin complaints and keep your academic standards high. And if the latter gets you fired, well, that solves your dilemma.

This is rather true. I got so disgusted with widespread corruption in academia that I quit for a year.

Guess what? The real world is worse, so I came back.

People suck. Deal.

[bud04]

Just an aside tee_bee: Leave Faulkner alone. He was a brillant writer.

Now back to the thread......