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[treehugger1]

I'm concerned that Mr. treehugger might have a brain tumor, or some other such serious problem. Yes, I know this sounds like raging (vicarious) hypochondria. However ...

Reasons for concern:

1) He's complained of a nagging headache in the same spot continuously for the last 5+ days. He hardly ever gets headaches, so this is unusual. He isn't taking any pain relievers because, according to him, they weren't doing any good. The pain is not severe ... only about a 3 on a 1-10 scale, but still.

2) He's started acting a bit strange. He normally has very regular habits. However, within the last few days:     

     a) I found him refusing to get into bed. Apparently, he preferred falling asleep on the couch in front of the TV.
     b) Actually watching (staring at?) the commercials on TV. Yeah, I know. So what? But he never watches commercials. When I asked him what he was doing he said: "Watching TV" as if he typically sat around watching the Geicko gecko.
     c) Last night, he got all confused when attempting to play a prerecorded program. He found himself in the set-up menu instead. Then, he didn't know how to get out. So ... bizarrely, I found myself helping him with the DVD controls. This technophobe can swear that this is a first in our marriage.
     d) A couple of days ago, he needed the car for a work-related outing, but apparently forgot to remind me. So I took the car, and he wound up bumming a ride off a colleague.
     e) Just now, he called saying that he doesn't know where his wallet is. (Again, *not* an everyday occurrence.)
     
   
3) He has a history of cancer in his family (though not necessarily brain cancer).

All week he's insisted that he probably has a sinus headache. I don't find this explanation entirely convincing. (For one thing, his allergies have never been that serious. For another, he's a master of denial.)


I mentioned my concerns to him yesterday, but he just trotted out the "its my sinuses" thing again.

I'm just wondering how serious this might be and at what point I should start really pressuring him to see a doctor. I checked on-line and medical sites suggest that one see a doctor if one has " a new pattern or type of headache ". This is annoyingly vague, however. Since I'm not actually him, it's hard to tell how "new" this headache is. Besides, we both hate going to the doctor in our new city. Distances, traffic patterns, longer waits all mean in a simply visit can take up to 4 hours and we are both really, really busy.

Or maybe someone could tell me he probably *does* have a sinus headache (or some such innocuous thing) and *is* just distracted by some as yet undisclosed problem. Or that I'm being overly attuned to potential weirdness on his part. (Aside from the above-mentioned issues, he has seemed more or less OK.)

[gennimom]

Um, not to panic you or anything, but you'd be better off being safe than sorry. Some of those things were what GD did before he had the abscess removed from his brain.

Just to make you feel better (if possible), it is possible he has an abscess rather than a tumor. While both mean surgery and an abscess can kill, it doesn't have the aftereffects of tumors. But then again, it may be nothing. But getting it checked out should be a priority and pronto. Waiting to see what happens is NOT a good idea when dealing with anything in the brain.

I know now that I'd rather be silly and wrong, than find out there was something that could have been fixed. The docs told us if we'd waited one more day, there wouldn't have been anything they could do.

Make Mr. Treehugger go to the doctor ASAP!

[oseph]

Oh my god, are you me?

Mr. Oseph has been really spacey the past couple of weeks, mostly while driving.  Misses turns, slows down in heavy traffic to look at something, doesn't go at green because he's thinking about random stuff, changes lanes without looking, doesn't see cars coming right at him.  I am really concerned and told him to go see a neurologist asap.  I doubt it is anything except Mr. Oseph needing his antidepressants adjusted, but I understand where you're coming from.  

If you can see a specialist without a referral, ask Mr. Treehugger to get to a neurologist to ease your mind.

[msparticularity]

I agree about the need to see a doctor. Also, though, remember that chronic pain with fatigue can do all of these things--it really makes us stupid. The fact that your spouse is having headaches may have begun a pattern of poor sleep, which in turn has reinforced the headaches, which in turn degrades sleep further... you get the drift.

[bookishone]

Keep in mind that, when Spouse goes to see a doctor, he may well (if he's an American male) just say, "I have a headache" rather than laying out everything you have. Thus, the doctor may well say, "Take an aspirin and get moe sleep" instead of being more persistent or at the very least scheduling a follow-up. Get Spouse to promise he'll mention the behavioral changes (subtle, but changes) that you've noticed.

[gennimom]

Keep in mind that, when Spouse goes to see a doctor, he may well (if he's an American male) just say, "I have a headache" rather than laying out everything you have. Thus, the doctor may well say, "Take an aspirin and get moe sleep" instead of being more persistent or at the very least scheduling a follow-up. Get Spouse to promise he'll mention the behavioral changes (subtle, but changes) that you've noticed.

That or be a helicopter spouse. There were times I HAD to go with GD, because he couldn't remember to tell the docs what was going on. GD had to give permission, but lord what trouble it saved us. Oh, and if they decide to run a test, ask for a CT scan rather than an MRI. For some reason, MRIs kept showing "minor abnormalities." The CT scan showed the mass. Don't ask me, I don't know why that happened.

Of course, I'm still hoping it is nothing to worry about, so just put off all my warnings as a worry-wart if need be! I have a tendency to go overboard myself in regards to my husband!

[oseph]

You are not being a worry-wart, Gennimom.  If you have good health insurance or access to free health care, use it people.  Most of the time it is nothing, and that's great.  Go anyway.  I am going next week to have a random freckle checked out on the off chance that is is pre-cancerous.  I am yelling at Mr. Oseph to humor me and go see a neurologist.  I am upset that my father didn't have a colonoscopy when he was supposed to - could have avoided the whole surgery.  I am sad that my cousin died from lung cancer instead of getting a second opinion about that fishy diagnosis of pneumonia. 

Free screening clinics.  Co-pays of $25 or less.  No referrals for specialists.  Good GPs/internists who will refer you to specialists.  Regular self-checks for lumps and weird spots.  Noting changes in your spouse.  Takes some extra time, but damn won't you be glad the one time in a hundred it turns out to be something and you caught it early.

[systeme_d_]

My own dear SO has neurological problems, and I say get thee to a neurologist pronto.

I also second Gennimom's suggestion to 'copter a bit, because Bookish One is right -- many folks (male or female) are not sufficiently communicative with doctors, especially in neuro situations.   I suggest that you accompany Spouse to the appointment in this case, just to make sure all of his symptoms get communicated to the doc.

[bibliothecula]

Go and go now. This happened to a friend of mine in grad school, and his "headache" was a aneurysm about to burst.

[bhavani]

I, too, think that you should have your husband see a physician about this. Have him bring your notes if he insists on going by himself. I think that the forgetfulness as well as the disorientation in conjunction with persistent pain in one area should be reason enough to have somebody take a look at him. It may not be anything at all, but I wouldn't really wait that much longer either. Keep observing his motor skills, appetite etc. And he shouldn't be driving if the pain and the other symptoms persist. If you in any way feel that his condition is deteriorating, you should act promptly. In fact, if I were you I would at least start making phone calls to locate a specialist.

[treehugger1]

Go and go now. This happened to a friend of mine in grad school, and his "headache" was a aneurysm about to burst.

Oh friggin' scary.

Of course now he's not answering either of his phone lines. I also happen to know that he is (we are) hosting a colleague tonight, so it's not as if he's going to agree to seek treatment right away -- unless whatever it is turns into a true emergency.

Guess it'll have to be Monday -- at the earliest -- before we can get to a doctor. <Sigh>


But <putting on my optimist's cap> maybe he'll be feeling better by then.

[gennimom]

If you have to, and he really starts worrying you, take him to an emergency room. Then make sure someone runs a CT scan. If something shows up, trust me, you won't be sent home. Finding something wrong in someone's brain scares the whey out of the people in the ER. We were told that when GD's doc was called to radiology, he walked in to hear the radiologist saying, "This isn't good, this is NOT good." She was looking at GD's scans. Oh, and insurance? Mention brain masses. They'll suddenly tell you just to send everything to them, they'll take care of it ALL. Ours was giving me grief because I didn't get around to calling them until 2 days after he was admitted. Then I mentioned his brain mass. No problem. We weren't bothered with anything dealing with bills until he was out of the hospital. And there was no such thing as precerting.

I feel like I'm borrowing trouble, but little alarm bells are going off in my head over this.

[treehugger1]

If you have to, and he really starts worrying you, take him to an emergency room. Then make sure someone runs a CT scan. If something shows up, trust me, you won't be sent home. Finding something wrong in someone's brain scares the whey out of the people in the ER. We were told that when GD's doc was called to radiology, he walked in to hear the radiologist saying, "This isn't good, this is NOT good." She was looking at GD's scans. Oh, and insurance? Mention brain masses. They'll suddenly tell you just to send everything to them, they'll take care of it ALL. Ours was giving me grief because I didn't get around to calling them until 2 days after he was admitted. Then I mentioned his brain mass. No problem. We weren't bothered with anything dealing with bills until he was out of the hospital. And there was no such thing as precerting.

I feel like I'm borrowing trouble, but little alarm bells are going off in my head over this.

Thanks for prodding me, gennimom.

Yes, I will take him in if he gets significantly worse over the weekend. My experience with the ER, however, is that they will absolutely not take you seriously, order tests, whatnot -- unless there are some florid symptoms. I have gone to the ER for something I knew was going to get much, much worse very soon (diverticulitis), but they send me away 2x, before finally I got sick enough for them to believe me/give me antibiotics, etc.


Sounds like you had quite a dramatic and scary experience w/ GD. He he's doing OK.

[gennimom]

If you have to, and he really starts worrying you, take him to an emergency room. Then make sure someone runs a CT scan. If something shows up, trust me, you won't be sent home. Finding something wrong in someone's brain scares the whey out of the people in the ER. We were told that when GD's doc was called to radiology, he walked in to hear the radiologist saying, "This isn't good, this is NOT good." She was looking at GD's scans. Oh, and insurance? Mention brain masses. They'll suddenly tell you just to send everything to them, they'll take care of it ALL. Ours was giving me grief because I didn't get around to calling them until 2 days after he was admitted. Then I mentioned his brain mass. No problem. We weren't bothered with anything dealing with bills until he was out of the hospital. And there was no such thing as precerting.

I feel like I'm borrowing trouble, but little alarm bells are going off in my head over this.

Thanks for prodding me, gennimom.

Yes, I will take him in if he gets significantly worse over the weekend. My experience with the ER, however, is that they will absolutely not take you seriously, order tests, whatnot -- unless there are some florid symptoms. I have gone to the ER for something I knew was going to get much, much worse very soon (diverticulitis), but they send me away 2x, before finally I got sick enough for them to believe me/give me antibiotics, etc.


Sounds like you had quite a dramatic and scary experience w/ GD. He he's doing OK.

He's fine. He has epilepsy from scar tissue that is controlled, but we were told that is not a common occurrence. I've had family members call me the strongest person they know. Why? Because I didn't run screaming from the room? I didn't leave my husband? They didn't see me curled up on his bed sobbing while he was undergoing surgery.

Did you go to the ER by yourself? That is never a serious sign as far as they are concerned. One of the best ways to get them to take you seriously is to call the ambulance. Other than that, you just have to pitch a fit. I've done that a couple of times. As long as you aren't screaming for drugs, they may be willing to do a couple of tests. CT scans of the brain do not usually need a precert (for obvious reasons) so they really don't have a reason to tell you no if you think something is really wrong. You have to stress that these are NOT NORMAL BEHAVIORS. Of course, with GD it also helped that he would pass out on the ER staff. He did that A LOT. And if your husband has not had a CT in years, there is no harm in doing one.

The brain is nothing to mess with. If you end up at the ER, insist they take it seriously. Until you are blue in the face if necessary.

[spork]

[. . .]


Yes, I will take him in if he gets significantly worse over the weekend. My experience with the ER, however, is that they will absolutely not take you seriously, order tests, whatnot -- unless there are some florid symptoms.

[. . .]

A five day headache coupled with behavioral changes qualifies as florid symptoms.  Get him evaluated by a good neurologist, through the ER if necessary.