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[alshealy]

I'm at my annual "big" conference right now. I love learning new stuff from the sessions. I hate the social stuff. Here's some advice to extroverts from an introvert:

1) We came to hear the paper presentation and discussion. We didn't come to hear you complain about not getting your paper accepted.

2) I'm sitting in the corner because I don't want to talk to anyone. Don't come over to talk to me.

3) I'm only going to the social to get food. Don't pretend like you're interested in where I'm from and what my research interests are. When you find out where I'm from you'll decide that I'm not worth collaborating with.

4) I didn't come to the conference to "break into groups". You talk. I'll sit and listen.

Finally, cooped up in my room for the night having a wonderful time with myself,
Al

[mountainguy]

See, as an introvert, I like it when people talk to me. As long as it's genuine and not just an "oh, you look so pathetic" gesture. But that's just me.

Why don't you come join us over on the introvert thread in meet and greet? We've got an interesting conversation going about grading.

[fiona]

If you're not using the conference to meet people and share work and interests, I hope you already have tenure.

At a conference, the mixing is what matters.

The Fiona

[wet_blanket]

I fluctuate between introvert and extrovert, but in either case I am shy and socially awkward.  I don't like being the loner sitting in the corner, but I don't have the skill to gracefully insert myself into conversations with strangers.  Thus, I really appreciate the friendly extrovert who makes that step easier.

I also appreciate the opportunity to retire away from people to my own space.

[fiona]

I think most academics are introverts, but in order to teach, we have to fake being extroverts.

After awhile it get easier.

The Fiona

[stanwyck]

After awhile it get easier.

I know you probably haven't seen the latest Grappo Fizz commercials, but I can completely see that character saying this while slapping the Appy Fizz guy on the back of the head.

[larryc]

You have confused "introvert" with "antisocial."

[stanwyck]

You have confused "introvert" with "antisocial."

That was my take, too.  I'm an introvert, but even so, I often introduce myself to lonely souls standing at the edge of the coffee-hour crowd.  These people frequently turn out to be first- or second-year graduate students.  I'm not looking for collaboration, alshealy, I'm looking to welcome slightly junior colleagues, or just exchange pleasant greetings with senior colleagues (although if they then talk to me about their or my own research, all the better). 

I understand that socializing at conferences is exhausting, but why would you assume I'm not interested in your research? I recently went to a multi-disciplinary conference and interacted with people I would never meet at the annual meeting for my home discipline.  You know what?  It was awesome.  All these people blathering on about topics I'd never heard of, research I'd never even considered (did you know you that rice paddies naturally produce a by-product that can be used to generate electricity that can then be used to automate paddy flood gates?).  I'm glad no one assumed I wasn't interested in their research without consulting me first.

[mended_drum]

Both Fiona and Larryc are correct.  I think it should be a forum rule that if the two of them agree on a subject, their position is almost certainly correct.

[inthelab]

I fluctuate between introvert and extrovert, but in either case I am shy and socially awkward.  I don't like being the loner sitting in the corner, but I don't have the skill to gracefully insert myself into conversations with strangers.  Thus, I really appreciate the friendly extrovert who makes that step easier.

I also appreciate the opportunity to retire away from people to my own space.

That's me as well.

[locutus]

OP if you really want people to ignore you the key is to have your I-pod earphones in. Great for when you're feeling antisocial.

[toni52]

I fluctuate between introvert and extrovert, but in either case I am shy and socially awkward.  I don't like being the loner sitting in the corner, but I don't have the skill to gracefully insert myself into conversations with strangers.  Thus, I really appreciate the friendly extrovert who makes that step easier.

I also appreciate the opportunity to retire away from people to my own space.

So am I.  So I don’t mind when people come up to me and initiate conversations.   I do like being social--just not to the extent that most others do.  Whenever I go to a conference, I always block out a few hours each day so I can recharge.   But the rest of the time, I'm "on".

OP,  I really think you should look at a conference as an opportunity to improve your social skills.  It’s also an opportunity to meet people you might not meet otherwise, find out about others’ research, broaden your perspective, etc.  This is critical to building a successful career in academia. 

[doctor_torrseal]

I'm at my annual "big" conference right now. I love learning new stuff from the sessions. I hate the social stuff. Here's some advice to extroverts from an introvert:

1) We came to hear the paper presentation and discussion. We didn't come to hear you complain about not getting your paper accepted.

2) I'm sitting in the corner because I don't want to talk to anyone. Don't come over to talk to me.

3) I'm only going to the social to get food. Don't pretend like you're interested in where I'm from and what my research interests are. When you find out where I'm from you'll decide that I'm not worth collaborating with.

4) I didn't come to the conference to "break into groups". You talk. I'll sit and listen.

Finally, cooped up in my room for the night having a wonderful time with myself,
Al

But, Al, you are posting on the forum, so you must want a little attention, albeit in a more easily managed form than face-to-face interaction.

Extroverts are the grease that makes social machinery work.  I am not one, but I am glad they exist.  I have tried to adopt a few of their better tendencies, like introducing people, making sure that people don't get left out of group activities, and even on occasion talking to people who look like they don't have anyone to talk to.  Certainly when I was a junior grad student from a small department, I appreciated people doing the same thing for me.  If you don't want us to talk to you, and you haven't got any ipod headphones, just stick your fingers in your ears and say "LA LA I AM NOT LISTENING!"  We'll get the message.

Seriously, regarding point 3, how do you know nobody really cares about you and your research interests?  Maybe they are just being polite, but there is a value to politeness.  There are also people out there who actually are more interested in what you have to say than in where you are from.  I can say from experience that the negative attitude you are expressing here ("don't talk to me, you don't care about me") probably also comes across in person, and that when people feel that attitude, they are likely to blow you off because you are cutting them off, not because of the institution name on your tag.

This isn't a criticism.  If you want to continue being this way, that's your right.  It has more effect on you than on the rest of the world though.  But introversion is not destiny.  Social interactions are like everything else, a skill that can be practiced and that becomes easier and more enjoyable with more practice.

(And by the way I agree with point 1; but it seems like a different complaint from points 2-4.)

[bookishone]

I fluctuate between introvert and extrovert, but in either case I am shy and socially awkward.  I don't like being the loner sitting in the corner, but I don't have the skill to gracefully insert myself into conversations with strangers.  Thus, I really appreciate the friendly extrovert who makes that step easier.

I also appreciate the opportunity to retire away from people to my own space.

That's me as well.

And me. Extroverts, please do continue to come over and introduce yourselves to singletons, as we're not all hoping to avoid all contact -- just shy.

However, one of the highlights of the day is coming back to my own quiet hotel room and having some time to sit and read, all by myself, at the end of the day. Sometimes I have to slip away for a 15-min solitary "recharge" mid-day. One more reason for staying in the conference hotel if possible.

[oldadjunct]

I'm at my annual "big" conference right now. I love learning new stuff from the sessions. I hate the social stuff. Here's some advice to extroverts from an introvert:

1) We came to hear the paper presentation and discussion. We didn't come to hear you complain about not getting your paper accepted.

2) I'm sitting in the corner because I don't want to talk to anyone. Don't come over to talk to me.

3) I'm only going to the social to get food. Don't pretend like you're interested in where I'm from and what my research interests are. When you find out where I'm from you'll decide that I'm not worth collaborating with.

4) I didn't come to the conference to "break into groups". You talk. I'll sit and listen.

Finally, cooped up in my room for the night having a wonderful time with myself,
Al

You seem to think this stage of your professional life is about you learning.  It isn't about you learning anymore.  It is about you sharing.  Sorry if that is a problem for you.  Academically, the passive phase of your life is over.  Done. Finite. Kaput.

Bookkeeping might be a better field for you if personal interaction is a problem.

While in your room having a wonderful time with yourself, avoid talking to the dog howling outside your window.  That never turns out well for anyone.

Finally, if perhaps you are really an academic so totally alienated for social contact as you portray yourself to be then I offer you this:  seek professional help now.  Not next week. NOW.