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[peevishprof]

Hi all,

I know this is a depression thread but this seems like such a supportive forum that I thought I'd have a go at posting here.  I do suffer from low grade depression but my real problem is anxiety--crippling, knock you on your ass until you are largely incapable of functioning anxiety--around academic writing. I sent my book manuscript out yesterday and the process almost killed me. The thought of doing any requested revisions makes me want to vomit. I am one of the lucky few who has a tenure track position, but if I don't learn how to deal with this, I won't keep it. It's gotten so bad that I'm considering leaving academia for good, although I love other aspects of my job. I have started seeing a therapist, but it's hard right now to think I might ever be able to write without it making the rest of my life agonizing. I guess my question is, do any of you have similar anxiety issues (particularly around writing) and how have you dealt with them? Any advice?

Thanks!

[msparticularity]

Welcome, PeevishProf! I'm not sure how much help my experience is to you, but I'll chime in in case anything helps. While I definitely have had issues with clinical depression since (at least) my teens, I didn't discover until I was in my thirties how much anxiety was playing into it also. My anxiety is more generalized than yours--at least most of the time--but it also tends to find a serious focus in flying. Unfortunately, I need to fly several times a year to present at conferences, and also if I wish to see my family (who live thousands of miles away). This is very much an active concern for me since it has such an impact upon my professional and my personal life. Also, I'm noticing this year that I'm already feeling anxious about the trip I have coming up in April. 

My experience in the past has been that if I take a very low dose of an anti-anxiety med for a relatively short period of time, then I can get on top of it through cognitive-behavioral techniques. However, I never have any success at all if I start out with the CBT stuff; first I have to de-escalate the level of fearfulness. And I'm still figuring out how to deal with the current issues. I'm planning to talk to my doctor about it next week.

[bread_pirate_naan]

Welcome, PeevishProf!

I have an ADDish relationship to publishing which does have some anxiety attached.  I sought treatment this summer because I knew I could not succeed without help.  I was prescribed Wellbutrin off label for ADD, but have low grade depression.  I had no idea how depressed I was... A number of minor anxieties have improved markedly, but do not expect to stay on it indefinitely as you can come on and off it with fewer side effects than SSRIs (which I will not take).  I am pretty gung ho on Wellbutrin, as I had no side effects.  The response was like that mythical magic bullet, but I am still working on the writing process.  The winter break will be important. 

HTH