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[allbutfoundajob]

My wife is expecting and due later in the summer.  As we both have careers, she was planning on taking off some time and I was planning on taking off some time after our child will be born.  That was the plan until I found out just how hostile my department is towards fatherhood.  So far when I have told faculty members that I am going to be a new father, twice as many don't even say congratulations as do say congratulations.  Rather what they tell me is that the tenure clock is ticking no matter what.  I am also a 9 month employee and as such I do not have any vacation time except for the summer when I am not paid to be there though I have been told that I am expected to be there.  The only way I could take off time in the fall is if I use the FMLA as justification.  Though it was strongly inferred that if I did so, my contract would not likely be renewed after my third year.

This was not what I was expecting from academia.  In asking, it seems that most faculty put off having children, if they have them at all, until after obtaining tenure.  Is this the normal response in academia to family life?  Does anyone have any advice or suggestions?

[spork]

Smile a lot, say "thanks for the advice,"  and schedule an appointment with the EEOC rep on campus.  Try to get some of these statements in writing, as in emails.  Also send out applications.

[waxwing]

Your post raises a lot of questions that to my mind would be important to anyone attempting to offer advice

What are the official policies of your institution on Family Leave?  What kind of institution is it?
Are you tenure-track?  Are you making progress toward tenure?
Who implied that you would not be renewed?  
What was the larger context of the conversation?  
Should we assume that your classes have already been scheduled?  
Does your department have the resources to fill them if you are on leave?

Good luck and congratulations!

WW

[secretweapon]

I don't have any advice, but I wanted to be one of the ones who congratulated you.  Congratulations!

(Just curious: are the hostile members mostly men, mostly women or a mix?)

[dr_mcmom]

allbutfoundajob

First - Congratulations on your impending fatherhood!  

Second - I echo spork's advice.

Third - figure out who the "Friendly Dad's" are among your colleagues.  Get the 'inside story' from them.

[allbutfoundajob]

Thanks for reading my complaint and the congratulations.  Just getting this off my chest makes me feel better even if it does not change anything.

I am tenure track and making progress.  My annual reviews from administrators range from excellent to making sufficient progress.

I am at an R1.  The official leave policy is that the university complies with the FMLA.

My department chair implied that I would not be renewed during a meeting I had with him which was devoted solely to discussing my impending fatherhood.

Classes are not an issue for the fall.

The hostiles are both men and woman.  Interestingly, of the women, most are unmarried and childless/childfree.  In contrast, half of the men are married and had children after tenure.

[dr_mcmom]

Interesting article.  Show to your chair :)

http://ucfamilyedge.berkeley.edu/babies%20matterII.pdf 

[rekishi]

I have several children (born before I got my tt job). Kids are time intensive, but as long as you properly budget your time and continue publishing there will not be any problems getting tenure.

Once your child is born you are probably expected to get some face time on campus. Might I suggest you take you buy a playpen and set it up in your office and leave your door open so that your baby's laughter (and cries) can fill the hallway. Only the stone hearted will resist stopping by.

[testingthewaters]

Might I suggest you take you buy a playpen and set it up in your office and leave your door open so that your baby's laughter (and cries) can fill the hallway. Only the stone hearted will resist stopping by.

This might get me flamed, but OMG, if one of my colleages did this for any reason other than a daycare emergency, I would have words. Certainly if this happened on a regular basis. My office is a place to work, not a daycare center. I guess I'm one of the cold hearted.

[spork]

What your chair is insinuating is against the law.  You need to get his statements in writing.

[waxwing]

That is disturbing and puzzling.  I can see why academics might be insensitive and/or indifferent, but I don't get why they would be hostile if your leave doesn't make extra work for them.  Is there more to the story?

In any case, if you are making good progress toward tenure it looks like there is a paper trail of good evaluations that would make non-renewal difficult to justify.

I would follow Spork's advice and try to document what you can.

Good luck!

WW

[histgradstudent]

Am I wrong that this is pretty weird? Obviously it might look bad if you were never around, but I don't see how its really anyone's business where you are at any particular time. I assume plenty of your colleagues are off in the summer doing research, why is it their business if you aren't in the office much in august....

My wife is expecting and due later in the summer.  As we both have careers, she was planning on taking off some time and I was planning on taking off some time after our child will be born.  That was the plan until I found out just how hostile my department is towards fatherhood.  So far when I have told faculty members that I am going to be a new father, twice as many don't even say congratulations as do say congratulations.  Rather what they tell me is that the tenure clock is ticking no matter what.  I am also a 9 month employee and as such I do not have any vacation time except for the summer when I am not paid to be there though I have been told that I am expected to be there.  The only way I could take off time in the fall is if I use the FMLA as justification.  Though it was strongly inferred that if I did so, my contract would not likely be renewed after my third year.

This was not what I was expecting from academia.  In asking, it seems that most faculty put off having children, if they have them at all, until after obtaining tenure.  Is this the normal response in academia to family life?  Does anyone have any advice or suggestions?

[orangejuls]

I've heard horror stories like this from a number of women (generally at conferences, after the wine) at R1s, and other academic institutions.  Academia is notorious for its treatment of expectant mothers.  Less than two decades ago, during a forum on this issue at the AHA, one historian said something to the effect that if a woman wanted to have children, she shouldn't be in the academy to begin with.  That seems to be less prevalent now in most institutions, but this issue hasn't gone away.

I've been told all of my professional career, by other female academics with children, to time my births very carefully.  I always heard that it was better to enter the market with one child, so the issue of your "breeding" doesn't come up -- i.e., when do I want maternity leave? (I can't hide the fact that I'm married, as I'm hyphenated).

I'll echo the congratulations, and say that I'm unsurprised to hear your story.  There are organizations that are trying to push for paternity leave, but haven't made much headway.  I agree, as well...talk to the EEOC, and even see if there is an ombudsperson you can talk to. 

Again, congrats.  I had my daughter the year before I defended, and I haven't looked back--she's 20 months yesterday.  Being a parent is awesome (though not for everyone), and hopefully you'll get to enjoy it!

[asa_phelps]

I second (or third) the suggestions about getting things in writing and talking to the EEOC people.

I have no problems with any family leave for men or women as long as you have no problem with me taking a semester off to care for a disabled spouse or aging live-in parent.

[sugaree]

Might I suggest you take you buy a playpen and set it up in your office and leave your door open so that your baby's laughter (and cries) can fill the hallway. Only the stone hearted will resist stopping by.

This might get me flamed, but OMG, if one of my colleages did this for any reason other than a daycare emergency, I would have words. Certainly if this happened on a regular basis. My office is a place to work, not a daycare center. I guess I'm one of the cold hearted.

Oh god chime! Outside of an emergency, no. The office is not a place for babies. That doesn't make me stone-hearted, it makes me a reasonable professional.

OP, are you younger than many of your colleagues? Is it possible that this is the first time your department is dealing with fathers wanting to take their (legally protected) leave? When paternity leaves were first mandated in the late 80s/early 90s, many many corporations were hostile about the possibility of letting their male employees take them. Some of these corporations never got over such hostility (and though I have no evidence of this, I certainly hope it's karmic retribution that these are the corps. currently facing bankruptcy today).
It sounds like your dept. is definitely behind the times and will come to their senses was they realize (as in get it all in writing) that they are opening themselves up to a lawsuit.