Like many of you, I am totally reliant upon my planner. I am also really low-tech in that area--I have a spiral-bound calendar that I carry with me everywhere. I put everything in it. I also tell everyone around me, including colleagues and students, that if they haven't seen me put something in my calendar, it may or may not exist; just mentioning stuff to me in the hallway is not a guarantee that I will remember it. Similarly, when people grab me in the hallway to tell me something or to ask for a meeting, I am very careful to always, always say, "Yes, I'll be happy to do that, but--I don't have my planner with me. Can you email me, please?"
Sometimes, it's not a bad thing for everyone to think of you as scatter-brained. :)
Same here. I can honestly tell people that if it's not in my calendar, it won't happen. And even if it's in, that's no guarantee. I've used Entourage for many years and have just moved to Google (to have just one calendar and e-mail on each computer and in preparation for a T-mobile google phone once my current contract is in its 22nd month) and Entourage does a great job with alarms (if you just click "snooze" it'll come back in five minutes, but you can set all sorts of time periods). I haven't quite figured out how to have the same options with the google calendar; it tends to e-mail and pop-up just once. Writing everything in my always present paper planner reinforces things.
For meetings, have the meeting chair e-mail a reminder a few hours before (I can claim middle-aged senility to request this) or collaborate with a buddy.
It's easy to be fully invested in a job you love. If you hate your job, you should hate it passionately enough to insist on wrestling it to the ground, being much too perfect for it, and make it feel bad for losing out to you.