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[buglet]

I'd concur with the other posters on the board.  Get out of there.  They don't appreciate you, and they are just using you to get classes taught.  Go live with your partner, have your child, finish your books, adjunct a bit to keep your hand in.  See what happens.  You are in a dead end right now.  Leave and let new possibilities occur.

I was in a tenured position in the States I couldn't stand, I wanted to relocate to be with my SO and get married, and I left. I was told the traditional line "you will never work again in academe," stuff, and you know what...I have a job offer at Oxbridge starting next term.  Why?  I spend my two years off finishing my second book, and starting another; the topic of the third book was exactly in the research field Oxbridge wanted.  So, you never know what will happen.  If I would have listened to colleagues, I'd still be in hated job, without a partner, waiting for menopause and death.  Don't let that happen to you.  You sound like way too nice and competent an individual for that fate.

[puffin]

I agree with the recommendations to spend more time on yourself and not to do extra duties in your current post. I wouldn't despair enough to throw in the towel though. The economy will likely turn around in 2010 and hiring in 2011. In the meantime, you can keep the VAP as a fallback until you find something better.

If you do spend extra time on something other than your personal life, I also support the suggestion to look into lines of work outside of academia. It's not the best economic environment, but it's possible.

[peppergal]

When I read the original post in this thread, it was like reading about my own life, minus the long-term partner and the debt.

There seems to be a lot of advice here to take some time away, and focus on the relationship.  But what if one is alone?  The question then also becomes how do I support myself (and avoid going into debt) while I reevaluate what I want from my life?

[magistra]

Is your parents' couch an option?

If not, I'd try to get away for as long a time as possible - and don't talk yourself out of it, REALLY spend at least a week away.  Do something lowkey to give you time to think -- go to a quiet beach, or hike, or go home or to friends' and just chill.  Sometimes physically and mentally getting away from the situation can help.  Think about what you really want, what makes you happy, what else you could be doing.  Maybe do a little research on other possible careers.  If possible, go to a financial advisor to ask about what sort of debt load you can carry if you move or change careers.

Then, make a decision, but don't discuss it or act on it.  If you find yourself starting to really look forward and make plans, great.  If you start to panic, don't do it.  And remember, if you do change and hate it, it's not the end of the world.  A year away from academe -- especially if you can still get a pub out -- isn't necessarily a career-ender.

Finally, think of it this way: being single means you actually have more options.  No-one's depending on your income, either.  You're likely to have less in the way of possessions.  You can move or switch jobs and inconvenience no-one but yourself.  In many ways, it makes it easier.

[peppergal]

Thanks, Magistra.

Unfortunately, given my parents' current living situation, moving in with them is not an option.  It would also put paid to me keeping up an active research profile (in case I want to stay on the market), since they are located hundreds of miles from a university library.  My brother would have been an option, except that he's about to get married, and I don't want to stress out the new couple.

I currently have a good savings cushion -- knowing how dismal the market has been, I started putting aside as much of my paycheck as I could last year, and I now have enough to survive for six to nine months.  I'm currently debt-free (no credit cards, no mortgage, car paid off, and as a PhD graduation gift my very kind and generous family paid off my student loans for me).

I need to stick it out for at least another year --  I hold a postion on the executive committee of one professional organization, and am organizing sessions at the annual meeting of another professional organization, so I'm looking into a visiting scholar position (unpaid, if necessary) for next year, since my NTT position disappeared for budgetary reasons.  By the end of this upcoming academic year, I hope I'll know whether or not I'll stick it out for longer.

In the meantime, I guess I'll take some sort of part-time job to stretch the savings out, even if that means becoming a barista at Starbucks (insert humanities PhD joke here).

[southerntransplant]

When I was contemplating leaving my prior job (it was really getting to me, and the hurricane just made it flat out obvious), I started looking through academic job postings and visiting the websites of universities active in my field.

I was very surprised how good that made me feel. Just mulling over the possibilities lifted the blinders a bit...

[magistra]

Thanks, Magistra.

Unfortunately, given my parents' current living situation, moving in with them is not an option.  It would also put paid to me keeping up an active research profile (in case I want to stay on the market), since they are located hundreds of miles from a university library.  My brother would have been an option, except that he's about to get married, and I don't want to stress out the new couple.

I currently have a good savings cushion -- knowing how dismal the market has been, I started putting aside as much of my paycheck as I could last year, and I now have enough to survive for six to nine months.  I'm currently debt-free (no credit cards, no mortgage, car paid off, and as a PhD graduation gift my very kind and generous family paid off my student loans for me).

I need to stick it out for at least another year --  I hold a postion on the executive committee of one professional organization, and am organizing sessions at the annual meeting of another professional organization, so I'm looking into a visiting scholar position (unpaid, if necessary) for next year, since my NTT position disappeared for budgetary reasons.  By the end of this upcoming academic year, I hope I'll know whether or not I'll stick it out for longer.

In the meantime, I guess I'll take some sort of part-time job to stretch the savings out, even if that means becoming a barista at Starbucks (insert humanities PhD joke here).

It actually sounds as if you're in a good financial position -- far better than me, anyway!  I hope the economy and job market will have picked up a bit by then, and you'll have more choices, plus a better idea of what you want.  If a VAP doesn't come through maybe you could do some tutoring or something for some cash.  At least you'll have more time to publish and spend time on your other interests -- that way you're in a better position to get a real job, and you might have a better idea as to whether you want to stay in academia.  I'm sorry about the loss of your job (I was facing the same situation, and I would've been on my mother's couch!) but it sounds like you're well-prepared for it financially and emotionally.  I hope things turn out for you!