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[malcha]

You're going to have to go some to beat out the lit crit people for disturbing.  Most of the time, historians make sense to me.  But those lit crit people give me the creeps.

We feast with sparkling forks and fine liqueurs upon the brainfruit of the dead.  What is so disturbing about that?

We also, sadly, suffer from the ineradicable conviction of our students that anything longer than a short lyric, whatever its form or genre, is a novel. 

[polly_mer]

You're going to have to go some to beat out the lit crit people for disturbing.  Most of the time, historians make sense to me.  But those lit crit people give me the creeps.

We feast with sparkling forks and fine liqueurs upon the brainfruit of the dead.  What is so disturbing about that?

Well, for starters, everyone else knows that spoons are the proper way to dine on the brainfruit of the dead and milk is the beverage that goes best with that meal.

We also, sadly, suffer from the ineradicable conviction of our students that anything longer than a short lyric, whatever its form or genre, is a novel. 

Hmm.  I have yet to hear any physical science or engineering students call our texts novels, but I suspect that is merely a result of my limited experience.

[rowan1]

I have a student who needs to be arrested for prolonged abuse of commas (amongst other infractions against the English language)

sample (I am not making this up)

Within the following pages, it will be revealed as to what exactly Neoclassiscim was, how it came to be, in particularly its delayed arrival to England and how it got there, as well as how it was regarded adn accepted, or not accepted, by such being as Ben Jonson, who shall be the primary focus of this paper, along with Neoclassicism, itself.

honestly - verbatim.  It gets worse.  My head hurts.

[anakin]

I have a student who needs to be arrested for prolonged abuse of commas (amongst other infractions against the English language)

sample (I am not making this up)

Within the following pages, it will be revealed as to what exactly Neoclassiscim was, how it came to be, in particularly its delayed arrival to England and how it got there, as well as how it was regarded adn accepted, or not accepted, by such being as Ben Jonson, who shall be the primary focus of this paper, along with Neoclassicism, itself.

honestly - verbatim.  It gets worse.  My head hurts.

Somebody's got a little fetish about the Declaration of Independence and the preamble to the Constitution.

[scheherazade]

I have a student who needs to be arrested for prolonged abuse of commas (amongst other infractions against the English language)

sample (I am not making this up)

Within the following pages, it will be revealed as to what exactly Neoclassiscim was, how it came to be, in particularly its delayed arrival to England and how it got there, as well as how it was regarded adn accepted, or not accepted, by such being as Ben Jonson, who shall be the primary focus of this paper, along with Neoclassicism, itself.

honestly - verbatim.  It gets worse.  My head hurts.

Sarah Palin went back to school?

[rowan1]

of course she never actually reveals any of these things.  In fact the content of the paper really just floats past the thesis on its way to other realms of lack of insight and reasearch.  I did get to a source citation 4 pages in.

Within the following pages, it will be revealed as to what exactly Neoclassiscim was, how it came to be, in particularly its delayed arrival to England and how it got there, as well as how it was regarded adn accepted, or not accepted, by such being as Ben Jonson, who shall be the primary focus of this paper, along with Neoclassicism, itself.

[concordancia]

We feast with sparkling forks and fine liqueurs upon the brainfruit of the dead.  What is so disturbing about that?

We also, sadly, suffer from the ineradicable conviction of our students that anything longer than a short lyric, whatever its form or genre, is a novel. 

You know, people keep saying this, but I am having the hardest time getting a handful of students in my novels class to actually call the d*mn things novels.

And as for the creeps, don't worry, everything is just our opinion and by expecting the students to actually support their opinions we are oppressing them - they will soon mount a revolution and the lit crits will be exiled. I am just hoping they send us to a tropical island with a nice library.

[t_r_b]

It sounds like somewhere along the line, someone tried to explain to these tender souls the problems with positivist history, threw in something about the impossibility of objectivity in interpretation, and this is what they came up with. 

That, and/or their freshman comp instructors drilled into their impressionable minds the ironclad distinction between "objective/factual" and "interpretive/argumentative" writing, i.e. that the former contains only facts and the latter contains only opinions. Meanwhile, they didn't pick up on the part about how any worthwhile opinion is supported by facts and how the reporting of facts inherently entails argument/interpretation (I've been trying to tell them these things all semester, but they apparently haven't sunk in yet).

We feast with sparkling forks and fine liqueurs upon the brainfruit of the dead.  What is so disturbing about that?

Nothing at all. To each their own, I say. I may not accept your invitations to dinner, but I'm not phased by literary critics' consumption of human cranial matter.

Derrida, however, I find horrifying and disgusting.

We also, sadly, suffer from the ineradicable conviction of our students that anything longer than a short lyric, whatever its form or genre, is a novel. 

But of course. Meanwhile, that short lyric, regardless of form or genre, is known as an "article."

Hmm.  I have yet to hear any physical science or engineering students call our texts novels, but I suspect that is merely a result of my limited experience.

Well duh. Everyone knows that novels don't have pictures in them. The thick, superexpensive books for class with pictures are called "textbooks." The smaller books without pictures (what's up with that?) are "novels."

And as for the creeps, don't worry, everything is just our opinion and by expecting the students to actually support their opinions we are oppressing them - they will soon mount a revolution and the lit crits will be exiled. I am just hoping they send us to a tropical island with a nice library.

I'm afraid that they had to tear down that library in order to build a new megabar to serve American college students during spring break season. But perhaps you'll get lucky and be exiled to some impoverished, undesirable location where the low land values have permitted the libraries to remain.

[imawakenow]

In an assigment in which students were required to discuss their reactions to a reading:

"The book is surprisingly well-written in Lehman's terms."

Hmm, is that Tom Lehman?

[barred_owl]

In an assigment in which students were required to discuss their reactions to a reading:

"The book is surprisingly well-written in Lehman's terms."

Hmm, is that Tom Lehman?

Somehow, your moniker has taken on extra significance, imawakenow!  :)

[grasshopper]

"Women through out history since the creation story have been stereotyped as temptresses. Women have been taken less seriously in comparison to men because of their inability to prevent the lusting after a man at every chance they get."

The student cites a source for this.

[polly_mer]

"Women through out history since the creation story have been stereotyped as temptresses. Women have been taken less seriously in comparison to men because of their inability to prevent the lusting after a man at every chance they get."

The student cites a source for this.

Does the student characterize the source as a novel?

[grasshopper]

"Women through out history since the creation story have been stereotyped as temptresses. Women have been taken less seriously in comparison to men because of their inability to prevent the lusting after a man at every chance they get."

The student cites a source for this.

Does the student characterize the source as a novel?

As a woman, she probably doesn't have time to read novels, on account of all the lusting after a man every chance she gets.

[t_r_b]

As a woman, she probably doesn't have time to read novels, on account of all the lusting after a man every chance she gets.

Isn't there an entire industry devoted to producing novels to be read by women who lust after men?

I assume that the source she cited was just such a novel.

[polly_mer]

As a woman, she probably doesn't have time to read novels, on account of all the lusting after a man every chance she gets.

Isn't there an entire industry devoted to producing novels to be read by women who lust after men?

I assume that the source she cited was just such a novel.

Based on my readings of those kinds of novels, that student's thought is much too sophisticated to have one of those novels as a source.