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[onion]

I've found myself gobbling Balance bars in bathroom stalls during on campus interviews, thinking that it was truly grody that I had to do so.

[pocksuppet]

Heck, at one interview I had about an hour down time between meetings, so I sat on a couch in the department's break room, rested my head on my hand and dozed.  Periodically people would come through and i would just look up and smile and say, "gotta get that catnap" or something like that.

Didn't get that job, but they had an internal candidate ...

... who presumably didn't leave a drool puddle on the breakroom couch!

[oseph]

I went on an interview last year where I spent the entire time thinking about how one of the search committee members had, years before, seen me drunkenly fall onto a table, where I knocked over a glass, which shattered on the floor of a shady European nightclub.

What did I do the morning of my teaching demonstration?  Got some ice on my shoe, slipped on the stairs, which resulted in my grabbing onto the banister for dear life and losing my shoes, as my bag flew through the air and landed at least ten feet away.  In front of the same guy.  He probably thinks I have serious balance issues.

I did not get the job, but I don't think that had anything to do with it.  I came close, but the guy's best friend was a candidate for the job and fit the conservatism of the department much better than I did.

Then there was the interview where I made the 'mistake' of ordering lasagna at dinner and then choosing lasagna again off of a lunch buffet the next day.  The SCC referred to me as "lasagna girl" for the rest of the trip, and whenever he introduced me to a new person, he would say, "This is Oseph, and she likes lasagna."  I didn't get the job there either, and that is JUST FINE WITH ME.

[notaprof]

Then there was the interview where I made the 'mistake' of ordering lasagna at dinner and then choosing lasagna again off of a lunch buffet the next day.  The SCC referred to me as "lasagna girl" for the rest of the trip, and whenever he introduced me to a new person, he would say, "This is Oseph, and she likes lasagna."  I didn't get the job there either, and that is JUST FINE WITH ME.

So when are you going to change your moniker to lasagna_girl?    ;o)

[oseph]

Then there was the interview where I made the 'mistake' of ordering lasagna at dinner and then choosing lasagna again off of a lunch buffet the next day.  The SCC referred to me as "lasagna girl" for the rest of the trip, and whenever he introduced me to a new person, he would say, "This is Oseph, and she likes lasagna."  I didn't get the job there either, and that is JUST FINE WITH ME.

So when are you going to change your moniker to lasagna_girl?    ;o)

When I want to play mindgames with Concerned Parent aka Teach Assist.

[swellgirl]

I went on an interview last year where I spent the entire time thinking about how one of the search committee members had, years before, seen me drunkenly fall onto a table, where I knocked over a glass, which shattered on the floor of a shady European nightclub.

What did I do the morning of my teaching demonstration?  Got some ice on my shoe, slipped on the stairs, which resulted in my grabbing onto the banister for dear life and losing my shoes, as my bag flew through the air and landed at least ten feet away.  In front of the same guy.  He probably thinks I have serious balance issues.

I did not get the job, but I don't think that had anything to do with it.  I came close, but the guy's best friend was a candidate for the job and fit the conservatism of the department much better than I did.

Then there was the interview where I made the 'mistake' of ordering lasagna at dinner and then choosing lasagna again off of a lunch buffet the next day.  The SCC referred to me as "lasagna girl" for the rest of the trip, and whenever he introduced me to a new person, he would say, "This is Oseph, and she likes lasagna."  I didn't get the job there either, and that is JUST FINE WITH ME.

Oseph--your post made me laugh out loud (I'm still giggling). Your off-balance imagery is priceless!

[spectacle]

Then there was the interview where I made the 'mistake' of ordering lasagna at dinner and then choosing lasagna again off of a lunch buffet the next day.  The SCC referred to me as "lasagna girl" for the rest of the trip, and whenever he introduced me to a new person, he would say, "This is Oseph, and she likes lasagna."  I didn't get the job there either, and that is JUST FINE WITH ME.

So when are you going to change your moniker to lasagna_girl?    ;o)

When I want to play mindgames with Concerned Parent aka Teach Assist.

By "play mindgames" do you mean threaten to kill (interthreaduality)??!?!!?

[oseph]

Then there was the interview where I made the 'mistake' of ordering lasagna at dinner and then choosing lasagna again off of a lunch buffet the next day.  The SCC referred to me as "lasagna girl" for the rest of the trip, and whenever he introduced me to a new person, he would say, "This is Oseph, and she likes lasagna."  I didn't get the job there either, and that is JUST FINE WITH ME.

So when are you going to change your moniker to lasagna_girl?    ;o)

When I want to play mindgames with Concerned Parent aka Teach Assist.

By "play mindgames" do you mean threaten to kill (interthreaduality)??!?!!?

It's so much better when CP/TA has to guess at my intentions.

[scheherazade]

Then there was the interview where I made the 'mistake' of ordering lasagna at dinner and then choosing lasagna again off of a lunch buffet the next day.  The SCC referred to me as "lasagna girl" for the rest of the trip, and whenever he introduced me to a new person, he would say, "This is Oseph, and she likes lasagna."  I didn't get the job there either, and that is JUST FINE WITH ME.

So when are you going to change your moniker to lasagna_girl?    ;o)

When I want to play mindgames with Concerned Parent aka Teach Assist.

By "play mindgames" do you mean threaten to kill (interthreaduality)??!?!!?

No, she means "befriend."  It's hard not to confuse the two, though.  (One has to wonder, what kind of friends does CP/TA have?)

[oseph]

Then there was the interview where I made the 'mistake' of ordering lasagna at dinner and then choosing lasagna again off of a lunch buffet the next day.  The SCC referred to me as "lasagna girl" for the rest of the trip, and whenever he introduced me to a new person, he would say, "This is Oseph, and she likes lasagna."  I didn't get the job there either, and that is JUST FINE WITH ME.

So when are you going to change your moniker to lasagna_girl?    ;o)

When I want to play mindgames with Concerned Parent aka Teach Assist.

By "play mindgames" do you mean threaten to kill (interthreaduality)??!?!!?

No, she means "befriend."  It's hard not to confuse the two, though.  (One has to wonder, what kind of friends does CP/TA have?)

Frienemies, of course!

CP/TA:  You, friend, with Exalted Oxford Degree, go jump in lake!
Frienemy:  You are bother me.  You have no class.  Let's go embrace righteous pedagogical outlook!
CP/TA:  This is not your business you do not own me;;;;;maybe you have less brain than earnest student.
Frienemy: I do not listen to you.  I have my own search for truth and the way that brings good results.  Are we frienemies with benefits?
CP/TA:  I am not looking for that.  You do not own my body.  But I will play anyway because I cannot succeed in hostile Chronicle imposing anger management issues on innocent students who just want A or at least B+.  You have no standards.

[medievalisttoo]

::ahem!::  Back to the topic...

On one interview, the (admittedly very junior, foreign, and inexperienced) SC member picked me up at the hotel in a VW microbus... with a bed in the back.

Same search, the provost emphasized that, because it was an all-male department, "we think it's very important that we hire a female."

Didn't get the offer.

(To give them credit: everyone seemed pretty nice -- just clueless.  And the person they hired is still there, I think.  So it can't be all bad.)

[tenured_feminist]

This was when I was on the other side (interviewing), but funny nonetheless -- senior colleague offered to drive me and candidate to dinner in his Big Honking Truck. After I practically had to use a ladder to get in, being about 8 months pregnant, we headed off. Senior colleague got us to the restaurant and parked very close to a wall. He jumped out of the driver's side. Candidate climbed down out of the backseat on the passengers' side. I opened the door and began my descent, only to get hopelessly wedged between truck and truck door. Senior colleague, though a very big guy, had a bad back, so poor candidate had to climb back in and assist me to hoist my not inconsiderable girth back into the truck, which senior colleague then had to back out of the space so that I could escape.

Medievalist, Santa Cruz? :)

[mouseman]

This was when I was on the other side (interviewing), but funny nonetheless -- senior colleague offered to drive me and candidate to dinner in his Big Honking Truck. After I practically had to use a ladder to get in, being about 8 months pregnant, we headed off. Senior colleague got us to the restaurant and parked very close to a wall. He jumped out of the driver's side. Candidate climbed down out of the backseat on the passengers' side. I opened the door and began my descent, only to get hopelessly wedged between truck and truck door. Senior colleague, though a very big guy, had a bad back, so poor candidate had to climb back in and assist me to hoist my not inconsiderable girth back into the truck, which senior colleague then had to back out of the space so that I could escape.

Medievalist, Santa Cruz? :)

Did the candidate get an offer? 

[undisciplined]

I once had an on-campus at Big City Catholic during which three different junior professors ferried me about in the most rattletrap subcompact cars ever. I left the interview doubtful that I would be able to accept an offer from them because they were obviously broke.

[medievalisttoo]

@ TF: That's a hilarious story (though probably not at the time).  And no: not Santa Cruz. 

@ Undisciplined: so, when candidates for our upcoming search ask why I ride my bike to the dinners, I should just say "for the exercise," right?