next »

[niceday]

So, listening to lots of posters who advised the parents-to-be among us that they will likely not get much research done while the infant sleeps, I have started checking out local day care options. I am due in Spring and will have the summer off and I will be back to teaching either in Fall or Spring of next year. I may get a bit of release from teaching during Fall but who knows with the budget situation being what it is. I am, however, at a research-intensive school so my teaching load isn't heavy to begin with but the research/publication expectations are high. This is my first year on the T-T so I gotta get back on track with publishing ASAP.

So, this weke, I'm visiting the home of someone who provides care out of her own home. What the hell do I ask her? Hi, will you shake my baby or otherwise hurt him? Will you make sure to change his diaper? I mean, I can't think of a single question besides "how many infants do you accept?"

I'll also try to see if some sort of part-time care is possible. Or maybe that won't be so advisable but I will wait to see how I deal with the baby over the summer before deciding on how many days of the week to turn nicebaby over. Of course, maybe she won't like part-time options. Maybe there are other academic parents around who want to leave their kid only on M-W or Tu-Th. (I can probably choose either schedule).

So, what do I ask her?

[bacardiandlime]

Ask whether she has some kind of certification? First-aid or baby care or whatever?

Don't people who provide childcare for money in their own home have to be registered with the local authorities?

[scheherazade]

1. Can you provide several references?
2. What is a typical day?
3. What experience/education/certification do you require for your caretakers?
4. What is the child to adult ratio?
5. How do you ensure that germs aren't passed from child to child?  (They should have a number of sinks available for hand washing, they should have a specific policy on child illnesses, and they should specify the rules on when hand washing is required, such as after diaper changes, before feeding, etc.)
6. Can you provide examples of age-appropriate play that is done with the infants?
7. For how long per day is each infant held, as opposed to in the crib or on the floor?
8. How do you handle prescription medications for the child?
9. What is your emergency and disaster plan? (Depending on where you live, this should include such things as tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, power outages, fires, etc.)

[niceday]

Hey, that's a great beginning.

Let me list what little I do know (from her ad but I guess I should ask anyway):

- She's licensed by the state department of education. (Have no idea what that involves.)
- TB check, background check and fingerprinted. (Umm, okay).
- Affiliated with "The National Association of Education of Young Children."

Frankly, these all sounded like Better Business Bureau-type credentials to my inexperienced ears. (you pay, you get them). I'm pretty sure she's not a monster or a child molester. But other than that, how can I tell? I don't know how to take care of infants myself; how am I supposed to judge someone else's skills?

[scheherazade]

Even if you ask the best questions and have experience, you can't always tell.

I put my son in preschool when he was 4.  The first one was lovely, but they were new and had so few kids that they weren't really doing, well, anything.  I found another one that seemed great - I took the tour, I talked to parents, I asked plenty of questions, etc.  Three weeks in, my mom went to pick up my son and caught another kid smacking my son and wrestling away his stuffed animal from show and tell, all under the watchful eyes of the staff.  The staff's response?  "Oh, that's what boys do."  S did not attend another day there, and we actually held him out of school for a couple months because he was afraid to go to preschool, even a different one.  The third time was the charm, and he had a great experience there.

Mind you, I'm the oldest of four kids, my mom did daycare, and I'm a certified teacher, and I still didn't get it right.  All you can do is keep a close eye on things and do your best.  My D's preschool was terrific, so only one of the four we've experienced was actually "bad".  Most child care, providing one asks questions and looks closely, will at least be adequate.

Have you asked other people where they take their kids?  Also, be sure to take a tour and look closely at cleanliness and how the staff interacts with the kids.  Those two things will tell you an awful lot.

[niceday]

Have you asked other people where they take their kids?  Also, be sure to take a tour and look closely at cleanliness and how the staff interacts with the kids.  Those two things will tell you an awful lot.

I don't know a single other parent in my area ::sigh:: I think that's my biggest problem. I have started asking around. I keep thinking that there has to be some sort of parents' mailing list or group but just seem unable to find it. (I live near a big university so the demographics are heavily skewed towards young singles. Parents in my department all live elsewhere).

[scheherazade]

Have you asked other people where they take their kids?  Also, be sure to take a tour and look closely at cleanliness and how the staff interacts with the kids.  Those two things will tell you an awful lot.

I don't know a single other parent in my area ::sigh:: I think that's my biggest problem. I have started asking around. I keep thinking that there has to be some sort of parents' mailing list or group but just seem unable to find it. (I live near a big university so the demographics are heavily skewed towards young singles. Parents in my department all live elsewhere).

Ask the admin assistant.  S/he'll likely either know someone, can find out, or will be able to direct you to someone.

[zuzu_]

How do you handle it when an infant cries for hours on end?

Tell me about your fussiest baby. How did you cope with him/her?

Why did you choose this as your career?

[macaroon]

Do you mean she is "accredited" (not affiliated) with the NAEYC?  This is not a better business credential - this is very hard to get and very meaningful.  The standards for accreditation by the the NAEYC are extremely high - so high, that many excellent facilities don't get it. 

After finding out she's NAEYC, all I'd want to ask is for her schedule (including vacations).

[niceday]

Do you mean she is "accredited" (not affiliated) with the NAEYC?  This is not a better business credential - this is very hard to get and very meaningful.  The standards for accreditation by the the NAEYC are extremely high - so high, that many excellent facilities don't get it. 

After finding out she's NAEYC, all I'd want to ask is for her schedule (including vacations).

Very interesting... Her ad says "affiliated." I will look into this. It would be such a relief to know that there was a real credentialing agency! Off to their website I go.

[scheherazade]

Do you mean she is "accredited" (not affiliated) with the NAEYC?  This is not a better business credential - this is very hard to get and very meaningful.  The standards for accreditation by the the NAEYC are extremely high - so high, that many excellent facilities don't get it. 

After finding out she's NAEYC, all I'd want to ask is for her schedule (including vacations).

I don't know about this, either.  You can search for accredited programs on their website.  Very nice - thanks, Macaroon!

[collegekidsmom]

As a very thorough person checking out everything imaginable about a potential care provider for a young baby(another mother with young baby), I did not ask the following question:

Would you breastfeed someone else's baby?

I was (I guess) naive. I did not know that was something that was going to happen(ever).
I also did not know how many people thought that was a good idea once I asked around.

Even though a home environment seems lovely, one caregiver in his/her own home is not well supervised and may have ideas that are different than yours as far as standard of care. However, I did infant care, and I was very conscientious and reliable. I think with an infant, a more supervised environment unless you really know the caregiver well can be a better situation.

[rowan1]

You should also ask for the names of other parents whose children are there and call them.
Trust your gut instincts as well - how do you "feel" about the place - that doesn't mean you can't make a mistake - we did on our first preschool - for different reasons.

When the boyo was 3 months old I picked up 2 classes (as an adjunct so I was "just" teaching) we found a facility that had drop in hours, and part day schedules. For the part time/drop in there was seperate room with 1 or 2 caregivers - depending on the number of kids (1 to 5 ratio) the kids were infant to 2.  Full days kids went to different rooms, in fact boyo started in the "wobblers" room when my schedule got busier.  There was a full day infant room and he would go there if the infant numbers were low and the drop in numbers were high.  In other words they had the staff to be flexible.  We loved this facility and stayed there till he was 2 and had to go to their drop in facility in a different location.  He stayed there till starting preschool (which was a disaster till we found the 2nd one).

THere are a surprising number of options to be found and you are getting started early which is good.

If you plan to breastfeed you need to ask about how the care center handles bottles.

Also, drop in unexpectedly to visit - that will give you a better sense fo the real day to day then a scheduled visit.

[slac_vap]

As a very thorough person checking out everything imaginable about a potential care provider for a young baby(another mother with young baby), I did not ask the following question:

Would you breastfeed someone else's baby?

I was (I guess) naive. I did not know that was something that was going to happen(ever).
I also did not know how many people thought that was a good idea once I asked around.

Ack!

I didn't ask that one either, and thankfully it didn't end up being an issue.

I did ask whether she was comfortable feeding the baby expressed milk, and whether she had experience with doing so.

I asked whether she had a back-up provider, who that person was, how often she has needed to use her, how often she needed personal time off, and what were the earliest drop-off and latest pick-up times.

I asked her if she minded if I dropped in unannounced some time, just to see what things were like when she wasn't expecting company.  And then I did it.

And I asked her for references, and called to check them.

[somewhatfrustrated]

In addition to asking the questions, once you start in any place, check in frequently. Lunchtime is expected so go visit at other times. Drop the child off and  go grab a paper or coffee or the mail and return 30-45 minutes after the drop off. Pick up the child a few hours early a few times. It was good advice from a friend and we were really happy with what we found when we stopped by.

When we looked at one place, there was a tiny room full of sleeping babies and one swing in the room. It felt really weird because there was no play space at all in the infant room. We went elsewhere. I'm sure it was a fine place, but I still feel squeamish thinking about it.

We  liked places that didn't force their sleep schedule on our children when they were under a year old.
We didn't expect to pay for the vacation days of staff, but when we thought about it, it was fair. If it is a small facility, ask how employee illness is managed. You may not expect to take personal days because the daycare provider is ill.

We always asked about the staff turnover.

Ask whether you provide diapers or whether they do. If you are planning cloth, ask about that- some places won't allow it.


Good luck, and as others have said, trust your instincts.