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[profh]

Yeah, tried many times.

It's one of those deals where the conversation starts off okay and kinda falls off.

I think we fail on both ends.

[mouseman]

Yeah, tried many times.

It's one of those deals where the conversation starts off okay and kinda falls off.

I think we fail on both ends.

Too bad, but at least you tried (whcih is more than the old farts and grads seem to be doing).

[polly_mer]

Yeah, tried many times.

It's one of those deals where the conversation starts off okay and kinda falls off.

I think we fail on both ends.

Have you tried either party games or actually discussing things you have in common like research interests or local events?

[profh]

"Have you tried either party games or actually discussing things you have in common like research interests or local events?"

Yes, but somehow we get stuck on talking about teaching, our students, or the college and you can only go so far on that.  And we tend to view the students quite differently, which is interesting.  I'm in my mid-20s so I see students in a different light than a colleague in their mid-60s may. I think age is an issue (20+ year difference) and because of it we have different outside interests. In terms of outside interests, I probably have more in common with most of my students.

Although, I tend to always get along with the . . . I guess you could say bitter old farts.  And I'm not bitter, I'm fairly new to higher education and one of the youngest faculty members so I'm quite excited about everything.

I think that I find humor in their brutal honesty. 

[grasshopper]

I hate party games and get-to-know-you team building crap.

Just talk to people. Ask them about themselves. People love to talk about themselves. I know I do. Some of my favourite people are people who are interested in my life, and allow me to be interested in theirs.

[polly_mer]

I hate party games and get-to-know-you team building crap.

Oh, me too.  I only suggested it because it can be an good experience when the whole room basically sits against the wall murmuring to their neighbors about how much they hate those things and refuse to play.  I have met many a new favorite colleague at stupid functions because we both or all three sat in the corner refusing to "guess which animal you are based on questioning others in the room" and discussing a recent book or movie instead.

Just talk to people. Ask them about themselves. People love to talk about themselves. I know I do. Some of my favourite people are people who are interested in my life, and allow me to be interested in theirs.

What?  Talk to professors as though they were people?  Now, you really are talking crazy talk.

[grasshopper]

What?  Talk to professors as though they were people?  Now, you really are talking crazy talk.

I'm a wild and crazy gal. Don't even try to hold me back.

[concordancia]

Food, alcohol, music. If that doesn't work, then you should be going to one of those team building through ropes and drums seminars instead of holding a party, anyway.

[promovenda]

Gosh, I've never had to do those charming team-building exercises you describe. What fun. All we get to do is drink in dim pubs, where the din is so overwhelming that you can hardly catch the (undoubtedly very witty and nuanced) repartee of the prof with whom you are trying to bond -in a language other than your mother tongue.

[luvstowrite]

Well, let's explain it to the old prof. We are not friends and therefore the trust level is not there in what is suppose to be a relax fun atmosphere.  Even when profs. ask me to call them by their first name, I don't. To me first names, and relaxed socializing are terms of friendship.  The "party" is an extension of the classroom and the committee. It's easier for students to keep things business like to protect themselves. 

You are wise.

But that didn't keep the faculty from wanting me on their team when we played pool...

[conjugate]

Pardon me for addressing the OP's comment and ignoring the intervening pages of political theory of power struggles.  I remember as an undergrad, my father gave a party for many of the colleagues in his department, and invited as well a number of my fellow students and professors.  During the evening, the faculty noticed that whenever they came into the room where all of us students were, we all looked up at them expectantly. 

I can't explain why I did this (as one of the undergrads in the room).  It just seemed that when we students were together, we would talk about stuff, and when a teacher came into the room, we all expected to be asked a question or given an assignment or something.  It got so the faculty were embarrassed to come into that room at all, so the party segregated itself quickly into the two groups.  We were asked about this later; none of us could put into words what we felt. 

Years later, in grad school (where all the faculty for many years addressed us as "Mr." or "Ms", by the way), one part of the department had a big party each year to discuss what would be taught the coming year.  Lots of courses were offered regularly, but there were a number of Special Topics courses that were really the heart of what the department did.  So, the grad students would be asked what they would like to see offered.  "Well, I would like to see a section of <topics course> on Sieve Theory..." 

A distinguished professor with a major book on Sieve Theory would say, modestly, "Ah, well, I don't know, it seems students haven't been kind to my Sieve Theory over the years..."  Another person would suggest Algebraic Number Theory, Combinatorial Number Theory, or any of a variety (no pun intended) of topics, and a few professors would say, "Well, you know, I've been thinking that it would be fun to develop a course on..."  This was over pizza at the home of one of the professors, whose wife made excellent pizza.  So the party was essentially business and pleasure both.  Grad students were encouraged to take part in the discussions, and would have to if they really wanted to take a Preliminary Exam next year on a topic that might not be offered if they didn't speak up.

On Fridays, many of the department would go to a bar, and listen to one of the professors pontificate.  This was often fascinating, and also dangerous in a way.  We learned not to object to certain things.  But as Preliminary Exams approached, people chatted.  "I'm taking an exam on a unit about XXX.  What do they usually ask?"  This asked to a slightly drunk, cheerful professor specializing in XXX, often gave good insight into the minds of those forming the questions.

I will add that one colleague, hired somewhat later into the same department, was friendly and jocular, and teased me about my inability to call him by his first name.  When I began to work with a colleague in another department and referred to him by first name, he said (mock-hurt), "You didn't have any problem calling him by his first name!"  I still keep in touch with him from time to time.

Sorry for the length of this.  Perhaps I didn't really address the question.

[terpsichore]

Conjugate: Good reply, but what I really want to know is where did you get the small flower icon that currently decorates your fora identity?

[conjugate]

Conjugate: Good reply, but what I really want to know is where did you get the small flower icon that currently decorates your fora identity?

First of all, I downloaded, and signed up for, ICQ, an older instant messaging service like AOL Instant Messenger or Yahoo! Messenger.  Then, when setting up my account, I put my ICQ number into the profile, so that forumites with ICQ numbers can send me instant messages via ICQ and I might see them if I ever log into ICQ (which I haven't in months now).  The flower is an ICQ logo, and it can change design to indicate my online status.

It's very handy, because few other forumites have it.  As a result, I can find my posts by scrolling down fast and the red flower catches my eye.

[notaprof]

Conjugate: Good reply, but what I really want to know is where did you get the small flower icon that currently decorates your fora identity?

First of all, I downloaded, and signed up for, ICQ, an older instant messaging service like AOL Instant Messenger or Yahoo! Messenger.  Then, when setting up my account, I put my ICQ number into the profile, so that forumites with ICQ numbers can send me instant messages via ICQ and I might see them if I ever log into ICQ (which I haven't in months now).  The flower is an ICQ logo, and it can change design to indicate my online status.

It's very handy, because few other forumites have it.  As a result, I can find my posts by scrolling down fast and the red flower catches my eye.

Another fast way to find your posts is to go to your own Profile and then View Posts of this Person.  You probably already know that but just in case...