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[mtnlover]

I find this terribly uncomfortable - I follow all the rules to prevent litigation, that's not my problem.  I just HATE doing it - any tips to make this easier for me?  I'm not a "soft" person but I just find this the worst part of the job.  Maybe because I have 4 kids?

[choirguy]

It never gets easy, but you can build protection around yourself to make it less painful.  If your documentation is solid and you have followed the published and applicable rules, the student has effectively dismissed her/himself.  You are simply making the student's poor decisions and poor performance official.  Remember that it is not about you - it is about the student.

Another piece of advice - do these sorts of duties with an additional faculty member or administrator in the room.  Even if the student's case is cut-and-dried, no one likes hearing bad news.  Having an additional person present gives you a witness in case of repercussions, or violent or dramatic reactions.  It also gives you someone who can say "You only did what our rules say and the student forced you to do."

Good luck       

[mtnlover]

Yes - I usually have 2 additional people in the room (another faculty member - female as I am male), and my AA to take minutes

[prytania3]

Pretend you are Donald Trump and get into the spirt of the thing.

Say forcefully, "You're dismissed."

[unstuck]

Sometimes people are soft on students, let them have a million ways to "make up" for what happened, or try again, and it just teaches students that they have a million chances -- that they are not the problem, or they are not responsible for their own actions.  It is hard.  And situations are different.  However, if a student made a choice and the consequences were clearly written out, then those consequences need to be followed -- by lucky you, it seems.  I don't like doing it, either, and focusing on it being the consequences of the student's actions helps make it bearable.  I'm sure you do that with your kids -- "it's too bad you can't go skating today, but since you didn't clean you room, well, that was the choice you made."  You know it's better for them if you follow through with the consequences.  Good luck!

[kaysixteen]

Prof. Me:  "Don't let the door hit your a** on the way out, you pathetic hopeless loser."

[sibyl]

I agree that depersonalizing it makes it easier.  When I do it I usually say that I am acting as the representative of the faculty, which both increases my authority and decreases my personal involvement.  "The committee considered all the information, including the appeal you wrote, and judged that it would be inappropriate for you to continue at this time."  I also pivot to talking about readmission -- "you would be eligible to apply for readmission after one year if you demonstrate your desire to improve by taking some courses elsewhere" -- because it focuses the discussion on next steps and on remediation, but also makes it clear that they can't undo this decision today.  Finally, I also remind myself that if they react unpleasantly they are not really focusing on me but on the whole situation; if they are angry or weepy towards me, I keep telling myself they are really angry or weepy with themselves.

Then I go home and drink bourbon.

(All this makes it easier, not easy.  Good luck.)

[choirguy]

Almost forgot - Keep a box of Kleenex on your desk.  If they start crying, hand them the box while you continue to talk.  Try not to miss a beat in your sentence.