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[autoconnect]

I did none of the research when I found a childcare provider.  We had just moved, my husband left for two weeks, I was without a car and desperate to find care before my postdoc started.  I walked to the daycare center two blocks away.  I asked for a tour, and the director took me around.  When we went into the infant room, all of the teachers cooed over my daughter, and they all asked permission to hold her.  The infant room was such a happy, adorable place.  I went home, grabbed my checkbook, changed a diaper, and walked right back over to sign her up.

I brought my daughter, and then my second daughter, there every workday for five years, until we moved this summer.  No regrets.  Their last day of school was a case-of-tissues affair. 

Great story. Just goes to show. Sometimes if it's right you'll just know it's right.

[niceday]

Well, my school came through and is letting me off the hook from teaching for Fall! Woohoo to my dean and my chair and the chair of the research fellowship program that is paying for one of the courses. I'm in a public university and we're in the middle of a budget crisis. They were under no legal obligation. And all the people who pulled for this and came through are men! Old white men, too! Progress! I'm very pleasantly surprised; we are cutting corners everywhere. Cancelled searches and eliminated positions are all around me. It doesn't cost them that much (they will hire adjuncts to cover my courses) but there is no money to go around and the school would always rather have tt faculty teach. Anyway, I'm appreciative. Just wanted to share that sometimes "the establishment" does come through... All the noise that's been made about making higher education more family-friendly does have an impact!

Alas, my research and writing expectations are unchanged. (Although I do get extension on my tenure clock and have already asked for it). Here's what I'm planning to do:

1- I'm getting on the waiting lists of the two nearby NAEYC-accredited institution. I think I have zero chance in getting into one of them before nicebaby is two. I will likely have a spot in the other sometime in 2010. Crapshoot territory.

2- I have the kid full-time in summer of 2009. I hear the colicky baby stories and hope that I have it easier. If not, I'm just going to have to survive those months. I will NOT be fooled by the first week's angelic behavior:-)

3- I've committed to starting part-time care (two days of the week) at one of the nearby family-care centers in Fall of 2009. (The grandmotherly lady). I talked to parents who leave their kids with her and they were very pleased -- and one of them had been with her for many years. She will accept me part-time which means I'm taking up one of her two infant spots. If I need to ramp up outside-care, I can increase the number of days since she will, by definition, have that spot. I could, in theory, pull out whenever but I think at this point I'm committed to paying her for at least three months. Cost: $400 a month for Fall. I had cheaper options but I like her and she is around the corner. Besides, her somewhat higher cost means it's unlikely she will fill her legal allowance of kids, especially in this economic climate. (I'm hearing from the caretakers that they are seeing children being pulled from daycare as parents lose jobs or see their hours cut back).

4- I will decide about Spring 2010 later. If the family-care is working fine the baby could stay there. Number of days will be at least three. Could be full-time. If a spot opens up in one of the two centers, I will consider it.

One thing I don't like about the centers is that the infants are in an infant room, totally separated from older kids. They have three infants per adult, and six infants per room. The family-care place is going to have a range of ages. It looks like she'll have my kid, two kids around two or three and perhaps one five year old. That's a handful. Legally, she can take in more but if she does I'd start reconsidering the place. I think an infant and two toddlers is plenty.

5- Drop-in breastfeed or pump. I don't know. At this point, both are options since I will be working at home. Wohoo! It's close enough that she could call me to say the baby was awake and hungry and I could be there in two minutes. Then again, I like working uninterrupted. I hear all the advice about not making decisions and being flexible...

So, thanks to everyone for invaluable advice. I would have had a much harder time negotiating all this without so much great input. I have a great checklist of questions to ask compiled from everyone's input.

I could in theory take care of the kid full-time in Fall of 09 but that seems risky, both for my mental health and career. Not sure how much I will get done in just 16 hours a week but this will make it easier on all of us and daddy can probably do more of the childcare over the weekend and take-over more of the cooking and errand-running in general and we will somehow make it work.

[collegekidsmom]

wow, great news about the fall! So much less pressure all the way around, and it sounds like your department really values you a great deal.
Don't just prepare for colic-you may actually really enjoy the first few months. Many do. So, at least you have a little cushion of time. That's great.