octoprof
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Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 30,806
Life is short. Love your loved ones while you can.
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« Reply #2115 on: December 03, 2009, 02:13:17 PM » |
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I have 2 favorite conversations to share, this first happened 5 minutes ago. The term ends in 1 week:
student sent me an email about 'making up missed work due to a death in the family'. She even offered to supply documentation. Her name was not familiar to me, so I looked her up... she has not completed anything at all for the entire semester. Not one. Nothing. Nada.
She asked me to call her. So I did.
me: I have reviewed your progress, and it appears that you have not submitted anything for this class all term, I do not see any way for you to possibly complete the needed work in 1 week.
clueless student: but you can let me try right?
me: (as gently as I can) no, I am sorry, but I cannot
CS: why not? I really want to pass!
me: because you have not completed anything at all, and I can't open every quiz, and take every assignment in the last week of the term. You won't have a good grasp of the subject matter. It would be better for you to retake the course next semester, when you can concentrate on school.
CS: but I want to try!
me: No.
CS: (defeated)alright
Seriously? she thinks she can do ALL the work in 1 week? And understand it?
just. no. I should mention that she was also talking to someone else during the entire conversation... kid? Dog? no idea.
This other happened at midterm, and I am already gearing up for the fight over her final...
Student missed a proctored midterm exam (online course, with proctored midterm and final at the home school) She never even scheduled an exam time. She missed the exam, never had it scheduled. After she AND her husband called me, I called the student back...
me: you can't take the midterm because... (cites many reasons, including the many announcements and emails about the exam)
CS: but I didn't get the emails, because I didn't know there was email in the course!
me: well, even if that is the case, it was an announcement on the course entry page, and in the materials when you signed up for the course.
CS: my husband was in the hospital!
me: so you scheduled an exam and had to miss it? With documentation, in that situation, I can make arrangements
CS: no I didn't know what 'proctored' meant
me: hmmmm, well you had 4 weeks to look it up. I am sorry you can't make up the exam.
This was followed by the same conversation with her husband... and he threatened to have her mommy call me too... cause Mommy works at the CC.
Can't WAIT for the final!
Husband? And Mommy? Hello FERPA! |
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It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities. Professor Dumbledore
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peppergal
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« Reply #2116 on: December 03, 2009, 02:43:28 PM » |
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Setup: My office hours are 3-4. I had a dentist appointment at 5 (figured it would take me an hour to retrieve my car, drive to the dentist's office, and find parking at the dentist). From my office window, I could see one of my students sitting on the lawn and making out with a guy.
At 4, I packed up my stuff and started to leave. As I am locking my door, the same student who was making out on the lawn comes running up to my office.
Student: I need to talk to you about my paper.
Me: Well, my office hours just ended, and I have an appointment so I can't stay. I can make an appointment to meet with you tomorrow.
Student: Can't we meet now?
Me: No, I have to go to the dentist. I'm free most of tomorrow. We can meet at your convenience tomorrow.
Student: But I want to meet now.
Me: I really have to leave. Why didn't you come to my office hour?
Student: I had class.
Me: You realize that I could see you on the lawn for the past hour? You were right outside my window.
Student: But I really want to talk to you about my paper today because I planned on working on it tonight.
Me: Well, then you should have come to office hours. And now I really have to leave or I am going to be late for the dentist. Why don't you email me and tell me what time you would like to meet tomorrow.
Student: But it won't take long.
Me: Unless it will only take 30 seconds, I really don't have time now. [walks away]
The student never emailed me, nor has she shown up yet. Surprise surprise.
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phlegmatic
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« Reply #2117 on: December 03, 2009, 03:36:56 PM » |
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Me: You realize that I could see you on the lawn for the past hour? You were right outside my window.
Student: But I really want to talk to you about my paper today because I planned on working on it tonight.
No good reaction to getting caught? That's my favorite part! Here's my favorite conversation of the day, between me and a group of Lazy Seniors. LS: Can we have an extension on the final paper? P: You mean the paper I already extended once? LS: But you only extended the first draft, can't we turn in the final paper later? P: No, the paper is due the last day of class, and then we have our final, and then I have to grade all of that in a short amount of time, so no, I can't extend it any more. LS: But can't you just say that seniors don't have to write a paper? P: No. LS: Can we just do a project instead? Like make a powerpoint instead of a final paper? WTF??? I just picked up my bag and walked off. |
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sugaree
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« Reply #2118 on: December 03, 2009, 04:50:50 PM » |
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Student has been out of class for over 1 week (allegedly, with "flu-like symptoms" although I received no notice of this until he called me yesterday). He calls to ask about his final paper, which is next week, Monday. Students have completed several scaffolded smaller assignments, related to the larger research paper, which has also been discussed several times, etc.
His question? He wanted to know what the final research paper was supposed to be about?
Excellent! He now has 4 whole days to complete all of his research and write a paper that he should have been working on all semester. And when he does poorly (unless he some sort of superior researcher and paper-writing machine), I can't imagine what he'll ask next?
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where's the bourbon?
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octoprof
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 30,806
Life is short. Love your loved ones while you can.
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« Reply #2119 on: December 03, 2009, 05:45:00 PM » |
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Student has been out of class for over 1 week (allegedly, with "flu-like symptoms" although I received no notice of this until he called me yesterday). He calls to ask about his final paper, which is next week, Monday. Students have completed several scaffolded smaller assignments, related to the larger research paper, which has also been discussed several times, etc.
His question? He wanted to know what the final research paper was supposed to be about?
Excellent! He now has 4 whole days to complete all of his research and write a paper that he should have been working on all semester. And when he does poorly (unless he some sort of superior researcher and paper-writing machine), I can't imagine what he'll ask next?
You could start a new thread and we could all imagine what he'll ask next. It could be fun! |
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It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities. Professor Dumbledore
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mystictechgal
Happy in my "full, rich adulthood", and as a
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 9,402
One step at a time
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« Reply #2120 on: December 03, 2009, 05:56:08 PM » |
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Student has been out of class for over 1 week (allegedly, with "flu-like symptoms" although I received no notice of this until he called me yesterday). He calls to ask about his final paper, which is next week, Monday. Students have completed several scaffolded smaller assignments, related to the larger research paper, which has also been discussed several times, etc.
His question? He wanted to know what the final research paper was supposed to be about?
Excellent! He now has 4 whole days to complete all of his research and write a paper that he should have been working on all semester. And when he does poorly (unless he some sort of superior researcher and paper-writing machine), I can't imagine what he'll ask next?
Easy. He'll ask for an extension, of course. |
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If a pouting pluot ploughman planted pluots in a plot, and the plot were ploughed on Pluto, would his pluot ploy play out?
"Is all the same, only different" -- Dr. H. L. |
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galactic_hedgehog
Procrastinating, Python-quoting, Blue Blazer-drinking, chocolate-chip cookie-eating, Pastafarian, Not So
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 17,915
Mind Ninja
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« Reply #2121 on: December 03, 2009, 06:18:55 PM » |
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The student never emailed me, nor has she shown up yet. Surprise surprise.
She will when she's done making out. Where do students get the idea that a power point is equivalent to a paper?
I've gotten that a couple of times lately, and I don't understand where it's coming from.
What if they print-out the powerpoint? |
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"A pun is primâ facie an insult to the person you are talking with. It implies utter indifference to or sublime contempt for his remarks, no matter how serious." -- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. Hedgie loves to read. |
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phlegmatic
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« Reply #2122 on: December 03, 2009, 07:37:28 PM » |
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Here's my favorite conversation of the day, between me and a group of Lazy Seniors.
LS: Can we have an extension on the final paper?
P: You mean the paper I already extended once?
LS: But you only extended the first draft, can't we turn in the final paper later?
P: No, the paper is due the last day of class, and then we have our final, and then I have to grade all of that in a short amount of time, so no, I can't extend it any more.
LS: But can't you just say that seniors don't have to write a paper?
P: No.
LS: Can we just do a project instead? Like make a powerpoint instead of a final paper?
WTF??? I just picked up my bag and walked off.
Where do students get the idea that a power point is equivalent to a paper? I've gotten that a couple of times lately, and I don't understand where it's coming from. I am going to put my powerpoints under "working papers" on my CV. I think a couple are good enough to go under "publications." :) But seriously, I think that students spend so much time finding fancy backgrounds for their powerpoints that they might think that is equivalent to doing real cognitive work on a paper. |
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gloxinia
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« Reply #2123 on: December 04, 2009, 03:22:48 PM » |
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[at beginning of semester]
S: "Do you, like, know who I am?"
P: "A student like everyone else in this room."
[parent was running for major public office, which I didn't know as I was new. I really don't care other than to think if your kid is that big of an entitled brat why on earth would I vote for them?]
S: "you really should look into it"
[ignored it and moved conversation forward]
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llanfair
Village idiot and Very
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 22,199
Whither Canada?
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« Reply #2124 on: December 04, 2009, 04:39:08 PM » |
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[at beginning of semester]
S: "Do you, like, know who I am?"
P: "A student like everyone else in this room."
[parent was running for major public office, which I didn't know as I was new. I really don't care other than to think if your kid is that big of an entitled brat why on earth would I vote for them?]
S: "you really should look into it"
[ignored it and moved conversation forward]
Ugh. Let's hope parent loses and never runs again. |
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Because, you know, that stuff on the syllabus is like, in writing, and there are so many ways you can, like, read that, but when the guys who sit by you in class, like, you know, must know what's really going on, right? -- AmLitHist, channelling student
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apollo
I carry this card everywhere I go, because I'm a
Member
Posts: 190
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« Reply #2125 on: December 04, 2009, 05:07:40 PM » |
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Gloxinia, you are a better person that I am. I am not sure I could have ignored that and just moved on. That kind of arrogance deserves to be squashed, imo.
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gloxinia
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« Reply #2126 on: December 04, 2009, 05:52:09 PM » |
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Sadly, they [parent] won... boo. Every time I see them on TV I can't help but think what it must have been like at home to let a kid run around with that type of blatant attitude.
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compdoc
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« Reply #2127 on: December 04, 2009, 06:33:05 PM » |
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I have a course which is designed to teach the students to research and write APA papers for psych and sociology junior and senior course. We work all semester on scaffolded assignments moving towards the final literature review.
Students are apparently complaining about me and my other students are sharing.
"Everyone was complaining that you give us little assignments instead of telling us what to do and letting us do it. But I appreciate learning how to do the work."
"No one near me likes you, but I think you are a great teacher." (She then goes on to tell me that the students near her text her asking her about the homework and in-class work, which is on the online syllabus.)
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cc_alan
is a wossname
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 6,885
Caution! Nekkid zamboni driver ahead.
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« Reply #2128 on: December 04, 2009, 06:49:19 PM » |
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"No one near me likes you, but I think you are a great teacher." (She then goes on to tell me that the students near her text her asking her about the homework and in-class work, which is on the online syllabus.)
I had a student recently tell me that she didn't like my handout but she did like the one my coworker provides. I stopped, pretended to think about it, and then told her- "I just needed a moment to check and see if I cared. Nope. You still have to use my version." Alan |
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Excuse me... which aisle would I find the unicorns and rainbows? No, Alan is a man among men, striding the Earth like a Colossus with a really big bladder, wearing a tool belt.
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mended_drum
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« Reply #2129 on: December 04, 2009, 07:17:37 PM » |
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Today, after class:
Nice student: "Dr. mended_drum, is there really such a thing as the dickipedia?"
Me: "Um, yes, there is."
Nice student: "I'm not in it, am I?"
Me: "Not the last time I checked."
Nice student: "Could you maybe send me a link?"
Me: "Just google it. Why are you so worried about this?"
Nice student: "My ex-girlfriend was talking about it, and, you know."
Me: "Thankfully, I do not know. But the site, as far as I know, only contains famous people."
Nice student: "Good. So all I have to do is not get famous."
Me: "Okay. So why did you choose me to ask about this?"
Nice student: "Because you're the one who knows about all the weird stuff."
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