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[llanfair]

That is sad, Rowan.  It's so unfair to these kids to let them get so far out of their depth. 

I was going to ask if there was anything at all that could be done - say, make him drop something so he'd be better able to work on what's left - but that wouldn't really help, even if it were possible.

Just sad.

[galactic_hedgehog]

I said,"I'm sorry, but this is one of those things that just is.  You know, like 'the sky is blue' or 'Wisconsin produces lots of cheese.'  You don't get to disagree."

I disagree.

[cc_alan]

I said,"I'm sorry, but this is one of those things that just is.  You know, like 'the sky is blue' or 'Wisconsin produces lots of cheese.'  You don't get to disagree."

I disagree.

Yo. C'mere, Galahog. If Octo says the frikkin' sky is blue then IT'S BLUE.

After all, if you'd look at your syllabus it states right on the first page that THE SKY IS BLUE.

Speaking of favorite conversations:

Scene: I've passed back an exam and reviewed the important parts. I state that anyone who wants help with any calculations they missed can come to office and I'll help them as long as they demonstrate that they attempted to rework them.

Student: Can I have that?

Me: What?

Student: That copy.

Me: What copy? I don't understand.

Student: The one you have with all the writing on it.

Me: Huh? <comprehension> Ah. You mean you want my answer key?

Student: Yes. I'd like to borrow it for the weekend.

Me: Why?

Student: Because I want to write down the answers so I'll know how to do these problems.

Me: No. Once you've attempted to rework it (or them), you can come to my office.

Student: Why?

Me: Why? If you really want to understand your mistakes then you'll try to fix them instead of simply copying down the right answer.

Student: When are your office hours?

Me: Recall that I gave you a sheet with all of my contact information on it on the first day of class. My office hours (times and days) are listed on that sheet.

Alan

[dr_evil]

I said,"I'm sorry, but this is one of those things that just is.  You know, like 'the sky is blue' or 'Wisconsin produces lots of cheese.'  You don't get to disagree."

I disagree.

Hmmm...looks like the sharks might get to visit someone other than Alan.  'Cause now you're just looking to cause trouble.

And to be on topic: I have a student who regularly asks for extra credit just for doing things which should be expected.  This week's:
DE: <such and such area of the lab> is a mess.  Remember to clean up after yourselves.
Student: Bonus points?
DE: what?
S: If we clean up, do we get extra credit?
DE: *SIGH*

[octoprof]

...
I said,"I'm sorry, but this is one of those things that just is.  You know, like 'the sky is blue' or 'Wisconsin produces lots of cheese.'  You don't get to disagree."

Octo, I LOVE this line and hope I can remember it if the appropriate situation arises.  Of course, I'll doubtless end up with smart-a$$sed stduent who replies with "Well, yeah, but does Wisconsin produce as much cheese as France?  And how do you quantify 'lots'?"

Nonetheless, I love it!!

Since I live no where near Wisconsin, this is probably the only thing close to a fact that my students would know about Wisconsin.

Of course, you can make up your own useless or benign fact, if necessary, or use Miami is south of here, Canada is north...  Some students will still think they can disagree. Pfft. 

[conjugate]

See, this is why I say "The sky at noon on a sunny day is blue."  My ex-wife would have argued endlessly with me if she'd been in a p*ssy mood and I'd said that the sky was blue.  I still remember how mad she got when I, apropos of a different conversation that involved tides, mentioned something about how they were due to the gravitational pull of the moon and sun.  She claimed that she was sure it was continental drift, or something.

[mystictechgal]

See, this is why I say "The sky at noon on a sunny day is blue."  My ex-wife would have argued endlessly with me if she'd been in a p*ssy mood and I'd said that the sky was blue.  I still remember how mad she got when I, apropos of a different conversation that involved tides, mentioned something about how they were due to the gravitational pull of the moon and sun.  She claimed that she was sure it was continental drift, or something.

WTF?  I wish I thought you were kidding.

[conjugate]

See, this is why I say "The sky at noon on a sunny day is blue."  My ex-wife would have argued endlessly with me if she'd been in a p*ssy mood and I'd said that the sky was blue.  I still remember how mad she got when I, apropos of a different conversation that involved tides, mentioned something about how they were due to the gravitational pull of the moon and sun.  She claimed that she was sure it was continental drift, or something.

WTF?  I wish I thought you were kidding.

No.  I think I inadvertently set her off by saying something.  She said she could tell by the sound that the tide was coming in, and I said that I was surprised because the sun and moon were both low near the horizon, and I'd thought that would mean really low tide.  She took this as skepticism, and thought I was correcting her, and went ballistic.

[kedves]

Conjugate, what patience you must have. 

[llanfair]

Conjugate, it sounds very much as tho' your cat is much better company than your ex-wife.  Probably better informed, as well.

[peppergal]

...
I said,"I'm sorry, but this is one of those things that just is.  You know, like 'the sky is blue' or 'Wisconsin produces lots of cheese.'  You don't get to disagree."

Octo, I LOVE this line and hope I can remember it if the appropriate situation arises.  Of course, I'll doubtless end up with smart-a$$sed stduent who replies with "Well, yeah, but does Wisconsin produce as much cheese as France?  And how do you quantify 'lots'?"

Nonetheless, I love it!!

Since I live no where near Wisconsin, this is probably the only thing close to a fact that my students would know about Wisconsin.

Of course, you can make up your own useless or benign fact, if necessary, or use Miami is south of here, Canada is north...  Some students will still think they can disagree. Pfft. 

This is why I use "the Pacific is wet."  No one can argue with that.

[concordancia]

I sometimes tell my students that I don't make the rules, I just attempt to explain them.

[conjugate]

I sometimes tell my students that I don't make the rules, I just attempt to explain them.

"I don't make the rules, I just work here."  I've used this line to my students so many times that they start to laugh.  It arises when I explain why we have to cover as much material as the (institutional) syllabus calls for, and when I mention the reasons for some other policies, or odd terminology in a discipline, and so forth.

[galactic_hedgehog]

See, this is why I say "The sky at noon on a sunny day is blue."  My ex-wife would have argued endlessly with me if she'd been in a p*ssy mood and I'd said that the sky was blue.  I still remember how mad she got when I, apropos of a different conversation that involved tides, mentioned something about how they were due to the gravitational pull of the moon and sun.  She claimed that she was sure it was continental drift, or something.

WTF?  I wish I thought you were kidding.

No.  I think I inadvertently set her off by saying something.  She said she could tell by the sound that the tide was coming in, and I said that I was surprised because the sun and moon were both low near the horizon, and I'd thought that would mean really low tide.  She took this as skepticism, and thought I was correcting her, and went ballistic.

Ah, but the American geologist Frank Taylor argued (in 1908) that it was lunar gravity (during the Cretaceous) that caused the continents to move apart, so perhaps you were both right.

[polly_mer]

See, this is why I say "The sky at noon on a sunny day is blue."  My ex-wife would have argued endlessly with me if she'd been in a p*ssy mood and I'd said that the sky was blue.  I still remember how mad she got when I, apropos of a different conversation that involved tides, mentioned something about how they were due to the gravitational pull of the moon and sun.  She claimed that she was sure it was continental drift, or something.

WTF?  I wish I thought you were kidding.

No.  I think I inadvertently set her off by saying something.  She said she could tell by the sound that the tide was coming in, and I said that I was surprised because the sun and moon were both low near the horizon, and I'd thought that would mean really low tide.  She took this as skepticism, and thought I was correcting her, and went ballistic.

Ah, but the American geologist Frank Taylor argued (in 1908) that it was lunar gravity (during the Cretaceous) that caused the continents to move apart, so perhaps you were both right.

I'm teaching about ocean tides this week.  Should I mention this as a historical point of interest?