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[sugaree]

I recently held an in-class review for an upcoming exam, allowing students to ask questions they might have re: the material. They essentially run the review, so if no one has questions, we all go home early that day (and they suffer the results of not having reviewed the material enough before the exam).

Anyhoo, at the beginning of the session, I mentioned that I had extra review sheets if anyone needed one. No one raised their hand, so we began to discuss the material. After about 15 minutes, 1 student was constantly looking over his neighbor's review sheet (which was very distracting and disruptive). Here's the exchange:

Me: Clueless student, do you need a copy of the review sheet?
CS: Yes, I guess I left my copy at home.
Me: Why didn't you raise your hand when I offered copies? (asked while I give him an extra copy).
CS: Shrug.
2nd CS: Can I get a copy too?
Me: Did you not hear me ask if anyone needed an extra copy of the review sheet? Why didn't YOU raise your hand?
2nd CS: Shrug.

Although first CS did okay on the exam, the 2nd one got a stellar 21%. Seriously, what is wrong with these kids?

[case_insensitive]

I recently held an in-class review for an upcoming exam, allowing students to ask questions they might have re: the material. They essentially run the review, so if no one has questions, we all go home early that day (and they suffer the results of not having reviewed the material enough before the exam).

Anyhoo, at the beginning of the session, I mentioned that I had extra review sheets if anyone needed one. No one raised their hand, so we began to discuss the material. After about 15 minutes, 1 student was constantly looking over his neighbor's review sheet (which was very distracting and disruptive). Here's the exchange:

Me: Clueless student, do you need a copy of the review sheet?
CS: Yes, I guess I left my copy at home.
Me: Why didn't you raise your hand when I offered copies? (asked while I give him an extra copy).
CS: Shrug.
2nd CS: Can I get a copy too?
Me: Did you not hear me ask if anyone needed an extra copy of the review sheet? Why didn't YOU raise your hand?
2nd CS: Shrug.

Although first CS did okay on the exam, the 2nd one got a stellar 21%. Seriously, what is wrong with these kids?

Must be brain damage?

[rowan1]

Sent an email out to dissappearing student today informing him that he has been removed from his final scene for failure to show up to class and rehearsals.  Oddly go t a call within 15 minutes of sending it.

DS - I've been sick.
Me - Sorry.  I haven't seen you for over 2 weeks.
DS - I have doctor's notes and stuff.
Me - Sorry.  Your scene partner has to have someone to work with, it is too late.
DS - but I have been sick.
Me - So why have you not contacted me and let me know what is going on?  Why have you not returned your scene partner's phone calls and emails?
DS - Cause I'm sick.
Me - Sorry.  I hope you feel better soon.  ** click**

I can't help but think to myself that 2 weeks of being so ill that you can not return a phone call or an email means go to the hospital.  Why can they not get the whole "you are responsible for communicating with your Professors" thing!

[georgiaprof]

End of the class - before the final

Failing Student - No point in coming to the exam since I am failing anyway (to no one in particular).
me - Have enough self-respect to come.  Who knows - you might actually do alright on this.
FS - I guess

Student comes - "takes" final - writes down 2 formulas and a couple of scribbles.  I gave it a 4 because it was the December holiday and I was feeling a bit generous.

next term...

FS shows up in my office:  Ummm, professor?
Me - yes?
FS - I failed your class.
Me - yes?
FS - Well, I thought when you told me to come to the final that you'd at least give me a D.
pause....
Me - Well, I thought that you would have at least studied when you came to take the exam.

pause...

FS - oh.

[eumaios]

Scene: My office. The phone rings or chirps or whatever you want to call it. I pick up the handset.

Me: Hello. Mr. Eumaios here.

Voice: Hi. I think that you're, like, my advisor. Anyway, I'm applying to a university and they want some kind of letter of recommendation or something so I'm wondering if you could write that for me so I can send it to them.

Me, after a pause, because the Voice didn't say her name and I don't recognize the Voice: Um, well...How can I write a letter of recommendation when I don't know who you are?

Voice, still not saying her name: So you won't do it? They said I should get letters of recommendation.

Me, resisting the urge to point out that "They" lacks an antecedent: Well, you see, if I don't know who you are, or if you tell me who you are and it turns out that we've never met because I'm not actually your advisor, then I'm not sure what I'd say in a letter of recommendation.

Voice, angry and oozing sarcasm: Oh. Well, thanks a lot.

Loud click.

[voxprincipalis]

I'm sure I have told this story before, but I just love it. This was at my first job, where I was teaching a music appreciation class. Student, "Biff," comes to class stoned, I'm sure of it. I go over a few terms, then Biff raises his hand.

Me: Yes, Biff?

Biff: Uh, yeah, can you explain that again?

Me: Sure.

I begin to explain. In one of those freak I-dropped-my-pen-for-no-apparent-reason incidents, Biff drops his pen, for no apparent reason. The pen flies out of his hand, bounces off the desk, and comes to rest on the floor, maybe six inches in front of his desk. I pause, thinking that Biff is going to lean over and pick up the pen. Biff makes no move towards the pen. After a minute I go on. Biff, for whom I am going through this again, stares into space and does nothing.

Me: Uh, Biff, don't you think you should be writing these terms and definitions down?

Biff: I can't.

Me: Mm-hmm.... Why not?

Biff: I don't have a pen.



Poor Biff. He did not pass.

VP

[eumaios]

I'm sure I have told this story before, but I just love it. This was at my first job, where I was teaching a music appreciation class. Student, "Biff," comes to class stoned, I'm sure of it. I go over a few terms, then Biff raises his hand.

Me: Yes, Biff?

Biff: Uh, yeah, can you explain that again?

Me: Sure.

I begin to explain. In one of those freak I-dropped-my-pen-for-no-apparent-reason incidents, Biff drops his pen, for no apparent reason. The pen flies out of his hand, bounces off the desk, and comes to rest on the floor, maybe six inches in front of his desk. I pause, thinking that Biff is going to lean over and pick up the pen. Biff makes no move towards the pen. After a minute I go on. Biff, for whom I am going through this again, stares into space and does nothing.

Me: Uh, Biff, don't you think you should be writing these terms and definitions down?

Biff: I can't.

Me: Mm-hmm.... Why not?

Biff: I don't have a pen.



Poor Biff. He did not pass.

VP

That's some good dope.

[scheherazade]

Scene: My office. The phone rings or chirps or whatever you want to call it. I pick up the handset.

Me: Hello. Mr. Eumaios here.

Voice: Hi. I think that you're, like, my advisor. Anyway, I'm applying to a university and they want some kind of letter of recommendation or something so I'm wondering if you could write that for me so I can send it to them.

Me, after a pause, because the Voice didn't say her name and I don't recognize the Voice: Um, well...How can I write a letter of recommendation when I don't know who you are?

Voice, still not saying her name: So you won't do it? They said I should get letters of recommendation.

Me, resisting the urge to point out that "They" lacks an antecedent: Well, you see, if I don't know who you are, or if you tell me who you are and it turns out that we've never met because I'm not actually your advisor, then I'm not sure what I'd say in a letter of recommendation.

Voice, angry and oozing sarcasm: Oh. Well, thanks a lot.

Loud click.

I'd be checking RMP to see if this showed up.  You know, for the laughs.

[tuxedo_cat]

While I am reluctant to cross swords with the great VP, I may have a better "fabulously doped-up student" anecdote:

During my first year of teaching, I had a student who sat in the front row of one of my classes, never took notes, occasionally started giggling to himself with no apparent humorous stimuli.  Last day of class:

Me: Ok, everyone, now remember that the final exam questions will be posted at my office on Friday by 4:00 pm.  Good luck -- you all have been really great this semester.

Stoner-boy (sitting up in his seat, asking his first question of the semester):  Is this our last class?

Me: <raising eyebrows in incredulity>  Uh. . . yeah.

Stoner-boy:  <visibly crestfallen>  Ohh.......

[voxprincipalis]

Oh, I get those sometimes and they're not even stoned! :)

Don't worry, no sword-crossing here. I don't really want to win the "Has Most Stoned Student" award in the next forum superlatives contest.

VP

[octoprof]

I ♥ this thread!

I never get those stoner students. My discipline is just too dull, apparently, for folks to get stoned.

[geonerd]

I ♥ this thread!

I never get those stoner students. My discipline is just too dull, apparently, for folks to get stoned.

Then how do you explain Enron?

[octoprof]

I ♥ this thread!

I never get those stoner students. My discipline is just too dull, apparently, for folks to get stoned.

Then how do you explain Enron?

Clearly, those were not my students.

I do think some of my graduates get stoned (you know, they can afford to buy the stuff), but none of my students do.

[hstrytool]

Ooh, what fun!  I have one too!

Student claims to be in the hospital the day of midterm via a friend who let me know they received a text message that student was in the hospital.  (Umm....okay?)

Student needs to make up midterm so tells me that they will be in my office last week.  I sit there waiting, and waiting, and waiting and, well, you get the picture.

Student in class an hour later:  "Was I supposed to take the midterm today?"

Me:  "Yes, you said you would come during my office hours."

Student:  "Oh, yeah.  I thought there was something I needed to do today but I just couldn't remember what it was!  Can I still take the exam?"

Me:  (sigh)  "Yes, could you please come on Tuesday?"

Student:  "Yes!  I will come after I have taken my other missed midterm from Prof. -'s class."

Scene II:  Tuesday in my office while I sit there waiting, and waiting, and waiting...oh, wait, a text message!  Student will be there shortly as student is still working on Prof. -'s exam.  Will student still have enough time to take my exam before class?  (There is less than an hour left.)

I had to get the student to finally take the exam sitting outside in the hallway during class!  Student must have used the time wisely to study since they passed the exam!

I gotta laugh or else all I would do is cry!

[missprof]

I could make a thousand posts on this subject! But this is a conversation I had yesterday with one of my students. He is a non-traditional stundent in his mid-40's. He is constantly asking me questions in class and usually keeps me after class for about 20mins. due to his questions. The main problem is I don't understand what he is asking half of the time and I then spend 10mins interrogating him trying to figure out what he is asking.

This conversation took place right as class was starting and 30secs before he was to give his speech.

Student: Can I show a YouTube video at the end of my speech?

Me: Is it part of your closing statement?

Student: It pretains to my speech.

Me: Ok, but are you using it as part of your speech?

Student: It pretains to my speech. It's a funny video about my topic and I want to show it at the end of my speech.

Me: So you are using it as part of your closing statement?

Student: It pretains to my speech.

Me: But are you using it to back up an arguement in your speech, such as to prove a point or are you just wanting to show a video?

Student: It pretains to my speech.

Me (frustrated beyond belief):  You can show the video if you want but if it does not support your arguement or help to prove your point and doesn't fit in with your conclusion I'm taking off points.

Student (clearly disappointed): well....ok.

He didn't show the video.


Here's another conversation I have had with the same student. I've had this one with him twice now, once after the first day of informative speeches and after the first day of persuasive speeches.

Student: I didn't hear anyone cite their sources.

Me: Well, they were suppose to, that is part of the assignment.

Student: Yes, but they didn't cite any. I wonder why?

Me: Well, everyone knows that they were suppose to cite their sources. I went over it multiple times in class.

Student: Yes, but they didn't cite their sources.

Me: I know and they will lose points

Student: Well, I still don't understand why they didn't cite their sources.

Me: I don't understand either but my suggestion to you is to worry about your own speech and not other people's speeches. Make sure you do it right and cite your sources.


I'll be glad when this semester is over.