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[skinnedknee]

I have a colleague who had her first child almost a year ago.  After an extended maternity leave, she's back to work, but is only on campus during her classes (during which time she has a nanny) and then rushes home to be with her child.  If you need to meet with her for any reason, professional or social, she brings the baby.  Department meetings, grant meetings, meetings with grad students, etc.  She has a husband and family in the area and I'm sure it's not a financial issue. 

I know others find the baby's presence distracting (some find it appalling).  This is not a quiet baby, she frequently nurses during these meetings, plays "airplane," coos, etc.  Plenty others in the department have children; none have set this precedent. 

Can I gently suggest to her that she should leave the child at home?  Should I tell the department chair and have him deal with it?  Or should I bite my tongue?  (For what it's worth, I don't have children, the colleague and I are not close friends, and we're both pre-tenure.) 

I know some will disagree with my opinion that children don't belong in the office and that professors do-- that's not the question.  The question is: given this opinion (and the fact that the majority of my colleagues agree), how do I handle it?

[expatinuk]

You don't say a word to your colleague. That's not your job. It's the Department Chair's job. And you need to tell him/her that YOU find the constant presence of the child distracting. Don't say anything about other people finding it distracting... that's gossip.

If your chair has any leadership abilities s/he will then meet with other department members and ask if there are any other people who find the child distracting. If you're the only one... then you're out of luck. Well, if you share an office with this person you certainly do have the right to request that you have an office without the distraction.

I agree that it's unprofessional to bring children to the office constantly. (I don't mean the emergency ... I can't get a sitter today and I have to be at X meeting).

[limbolucy]

Ugh.  Colleagues regularly bringing kids to the office is one of my big pet peves also. 

I have a colleague in my dept who regularly brings at least one, often two, and sometimes even all three of her kids to the office.  This happens almost everyday.  All three of the kids are home schooled. 

The boys run up and down the hallways, throwing a football.  Meanwhile, her daughter scooters noisily back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, along the hardwood floors.  When my colleague goes to class, she leaves them in the building and they, quite literally, run wild.  It drives me nuts.  Our dept recently moved into a new building and you can already see all of the wear and tear on the walls, doors, and furniture that has been wrought by her kids. 

I am fine with bringing the kid/kids occassionally--like when there is a child care emergency or babysitter snafu.  Sure, fine, no problem.  But, the office is a professional office, not a personal day care center. 

My colleague has tenure and, when she was a junior faculty member, she did not bring her kids into the office.  Not at all.  Ever.  Unfortunately, when anyone has mentioned her children being in the office too much or making too much noise, she screams about being anti-family and threatens to sue for discrimination.  It is a bad situation. 

[mended_drum]

I agree that this is the Chair's responsibility, unless there is some written policy about it at a higher level--and then it's still the Chair responsibility.  Complain there if you need to.  My colleagues bring in children when there are general school closings or in emergencies.  I will say that I think this was eventually instrumental in persuading the board to coordinate our spring break with that of the local public grade schools (some whining from our students, but much joy from faculty/staff).

[anthroid]

This is absolutely the chair's responsibility, and, if the chair won't do something, university counsel will.  Not only this is completely inappropriate on a regular basis, but it is an insurance nightmare waiting to happen.  But, OP, you need to STFU after you talk with the chair.

[mccfan]

I have 3 kids.  They only come to the office if there is some kind of daycare emergency.  I did bring the one to "take your kid to work day" last year, as she is old enough to come along.  Along with the announcement of this event from the college, we got a reminder that children are not normally to be on campus during the work day.  I was fine with that as it is my opinion that work is for work.  And it is the responsibility of workers to make provision for their kids so they can do their work (with exceptions for emergencies like illness).  I would find it very disturbing if one of my colleagues consistently brought his or her kids to the office.  They are distracting. 

As for the one who home schools, when is this schooling taking place?  It seems to me that this person is supposed to have a full time job as a college professor.  When does she have time to teach her kids anything?  And, if she is teaching them something, doesn't that take away from the time she is supposed to be spending on the work the college is paying for?

To the OP, I concur with those who say that this is your chair's job.  S/he is the boss and is supposed to deal with these things.  Before you go and raise this with the chair, though, I would inquire at Human Resources or the Dean's office, or wherever the policies come from, to see is your institution has any rules relating to having kids on campus.  If so, you can provide them to your chair, so that the chair has that info when s/he explains to the new-ish parent that the job involves more than meeting one's classes and that kids ought not to be in meetings as a matter of course.

[macaroon]

Hi Skinnedknee -

I agree with others.  Speak with your chair first and then wait a couple of weeks.  

Another strategy is to let her know very specifically that she and the child are disrupting this specific meeting.  Like, "Jen, I'm really sorry, but I can't hear the speaker."  If you or one of your students are the speaker, or if you called the meeting, "Jen, if you guys can't quiet down, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."  If you are known for your sense of humor, you could say something like "Don't make me have to separate the two of you!"

I would NOT touch the nursing issue with a 10 foot pole.  Focus on the noise, and this specific child, not children in general.  

There is a time when SOME babies at meetings can be handled with dignity and without disrupting anyone, especially a nursing infant.  They sleep; they nurse, especially at seminars when they turn down the lights.  Mom can sit by the door, and if the baby acts up, mom can make a hasty exit.  I used to take my own newborns to seminars, and most people had no idea they were there.  But that time is over for almost every kid around six months.  

I've got two small children.  And I rarely bring them to work - it is solely for holidays and childcare snafus.  Maybe 3 times a year?  Beyond about 4 months, it isn't okay.

[verbena]

Another vote for biting your tongue, unless there's a specific moment when you can't concentrate or hear during a meeting because the baby is distracting you.

She has a husband and family in the area and I'm sure it's not a financial issue. 

But it could be a logistical issue. Organizing childcare - especially for short stints, with an inconsistent schedule - while working full time can be a nightmare.

Really, people find the presence of a one-year-old baby "appalling"?

[expatinuk]

Really, people find the presence of a one-year-old baby "appalling"?

Not as a person ... but as someone in the office when you don't work at a day care... yes, it's appalling.

[anthroid]

Another vote for biting your tongue, unless there's a specific moment when you can't concentrate or hear during a meeting because the baby is distracting you.

She has a husband and family in the area and I'm sure it's not a financial issue. 

But it could be a logistical issue. Organizing childcare - especially for short stints, with an inconsistent schedule - while working full time can be a nightmare.

Really, people find the presence of a one-year-old baby "appalling"?

If it's a constant thing, yep.  Work is work.  And, if OPs colleague can organize a nanny for her class time, I don't see why she can't for other times.  And, further, why is it the mother's issue?  Why isn't daddy taking the kids to his job?

[macaroon]

Really, people find the presence of a one-year-old baby "appalling"?

Mine most certainly were!  At ~ 1, my older child delighted in ripping apart bookshelves and knocking over furniture.  My younger child tried to stick her finger in every single orifice she found, and howled whether she got the finger in or not.  They both adored tearing paper to shreds.  Between 10 and 18 months, appalling would have indeed been a good description of both of my children. 

Anyhow, OP - I'm posting again because I remembered something that happened to an acquaintance of mine who was on the tenure track.  When she had her baby, and took some time off of teaching classes and got a lightened load for the following semester, her pay was cut by more than half.  It is possible that your colleague has some arrangement like this, for instance, she may be on unpaid leave  and getting paid at the adjunct rate to teach her classes.  That would offer an explanation for her behavior.  Yet another reason to leave handling the situation to the chair!

[prof_smartypants]

It's stories like this that make me mad that I can't bring my very quiet, sleepy basset hound into my office when I'm working...

[verbena]

Really, people find the presence of a one-year-old baby "appalling"?

Mine most certainly were!  At ~ 1, my older child delighted in ripping apart bookshelves and knocking over furniture.  My younger child tried to stick her finger in every single orifice she found, and howled whether she got the finger in or not.  They both adored tearing paper to shreds.  Between 10 and 18 months, appalling would have indeed been a good description of both of my children. 

Ah. Yes, that helps me understand....  It's not the "presence," it's the rampaging. 

[dr_coffee]

I feel this problem - I sat through a meeting the other day TOTALLY distracted my the infant in the room.  Come ON.  If you cannot find care for the kid, opt out of the meeting.  It is NOT a newborn - get over it.  We all have kids (many of us) and it is not about loving/hating kids.  Work is work.  Get the kid, the crying, the nursing, the rocking, the cooing/gurgling OUT OF the MEETING.

[gourmetless]

An office, a meeting, a classroom: all these things ought to be professional environments.

This can be defined in a variety of different ways, depending on the people, the school, the discipline.

I would say this Prof-Mom is being unprofessional according to most definitions.  Time to cut the umbilical cord.

Let the chair know, and then see what happens.

An emergency is one thing.