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polly_mer
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« Reply #15 on: September 06, 2008, 08:47:46 PM » |
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I am required to hold ten office hours each week as it is. If I held more official office hours, when would I use the restroom, chat with colleagues, and find coffee?
Take your students with you. Call it a field trip. Education is not just for the classroom, it's for life. A field trip to the restroom? Perhaps you were not involved in the thread a few months ago where it turned out that some students do not know how to use the rest room in a proper manner. Ya have to start teaching at the current level of student knowledge, not what we wish they had. |
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If you haven't got either the anatomical or metaphorical balls to post your own question on a pseudonymous internet forum, then academia is the wrong job for you.
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john_proctor
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« Reply #16 on: September 06, 2008, 08:56:44 PM » |
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"I'll bet your husband doesn't understand just how special you are."
I would have thought: "LarryC: Never failed a blood doping test." |
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"Look upon me! I'll show you the 'life of the mind.'"
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polly_mer
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« Reply #17 on: September 06, 2008, 09:13:10 PM » |
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"I'll bet your husband doesn't understand just how special you are."
I would have thought: "LarryC: Never failed a blood doping test." Maybe you are overestimating the great LarryC. |
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If you haven't got either the anatomical or metaphorical balls to post your own question on a pseudonymous internet forum, then academia is the wrong job for you.
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john_proctor
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« Reply #18 on: September 06, 2008, 10:45:06 PM » |
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Indeed, on reflection, I may be underestimating the whole concept.
Just today, I've come up with:
"Hey, no one died."
"I've learned from every mis-step."
"It's not a 'beer belly;' its the reserve fuel tank for a yeast powered teachin machine."
"I can't be any worse than [insert name of tenured dead-wood faculty member]."
"Come on over to the Proctor-side, baby."
"Hell. You know. Whatever."
"Hey, you could do worse, ya'know."
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« Last Edit: September 06, 2008, 10:46:59 PM by john_proctor »
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"Look upon me! I'll show you the 'life of the mind.'"
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john_proctor
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« Reply #19 on: September 06, 2008, 10:51:22 PM » |
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And let's don't forget the ever popular:
"Jesus, y'all. I've got loans. I need a goddamn job."
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"Look upon me! I'll show you the 'life of the mind.'"
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polly_mer
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« Reply #20 on: September 06, 2008, 11:01:50 PM » |
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And let's don't forget the ever popular:
"Jesus, y'all. I've got loans. I need a goddamn job."
Surprisingly, even "I've got a new baby, a sick husband, and a mortgage to pay" doesn't work that all well, either. I'm gonna have to start including the "I bet your wife doesn't understand your needs" line in my cover letter or possibly the "Don't make me tell your wife about the conference in Toledo" line. |
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If you haven't got either the anatomical or metaphorical balls to post your own question on a pseudonymous internet forum, then academia is the wrong job for you.
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chemystery
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« Reply #21 on: September 06, 2008, 11:51:00 PM » |
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I am required to hold ten office hours each week as it is. If I held more official office hours, when would I use the restroom, chat with colleagues, and find coffee?
Take your students with you. Call it a field trip. Education is not just for the classroom, it's for life. A field trip to the restroom? Perhaps you were not involved in the thread a few months ago where it turned out that some students do not know how to use the rest room in a proper manner. Ya have to start teaching at the current level of student knowledge, not what we wish they had. Do I need a separate field trip form filed for each trip to the bathroom, or can I get a blanket form for the entire semester? |
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"Nolite te bastardes carborundorum"
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polly_mer
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« Reply #22 on: September 06, 2008, 11:54:17 PM » |
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I am required to hold ten office hours each week as it is. If I held more official office hours, when would I use the restroom, chat with colleagues, and find coffee?
Take your students with you. Call it a field trip. Education is not just for the classroom, it's for life. A field trip to the restroom? Perhaps you were not involved in the thread a few months ago where it turned out that some students do not know how to use the rest room in a proper manner. Ya have to start teaching at the current level of student knowledge, not what we wish they had. Do I need a separate field trip form filed for each trip to the bathroom, or can I get a blanket form for the entire semester? Ask your dean. Deans are paid the big money to deal with such tricky issues. |
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If you haven't got either the anatomical or metaphorical balls to post your own question on a pseudonymous internet forum, then academia is the wrong job for you.
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madhatter
We proudly present the fora's Least
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 5,673
Just killing time
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« Reply #23 on: September 07, 2008, 10:00:15 AM » |
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Perhaps you were not involved in the thread a few months ago where it turned out that some students do not know how to use the rest room in a proper manner.
<shudder> I didn't need to know that. I really didn't. |
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"I may be an evil scientist, but it doesn't take a degree purchased from the Internet with your ex-wife's money to know how special and important you are to me." -- Dr. Doofenschmirtz
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samspade
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« Reply #24 on: September 07, 2008, 03:04:41 PM » |
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And let's don't forget the ever popular:
"Jesus, y'all. I've got loans. I need a goddamn job."
I think I might put this as the header on my CV. |
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dr_dre
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« Reply #25 on: September 07, 2008, 03:07:42 PM » |
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How about, "I'll teach all your stinkin' surveys without complaining... promise!"
Or "I'm good enough, smart enough, and goshdarnit, people like me!"
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john_proctor
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« Reply #26 on: September 07, 2008, 04:42:08 PM » |
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And let's don't forget the ever popular:
"Jesus, y'all. I've got loans. I need a goddamn job."
I think I might put this as the header on my CV. Chin up, soldier. Won't be long before you, too, will be able to change that to "I've strong reasons to believe your program doesn't suck as much as the one I currently work for." |
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"Look upon me! I'll show you the 'life of the mind.'"
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publishorperish1
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« Reply #27 on: September 08, 2008, 11:58:44 PM » |
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Very funny. How many Albert Einsteins have ever lived? One.
Whitepages.com lists 20 Albert Einsteins in the United States alone! Though I'd imagine that a promise to produce one could be difficult to honor . . . |
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dr_evil
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« Reply #28 on: September 10, 2008, 05:02:58 PM » |
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The Dr. Evil sales pitch: "Hire me or the sharks will get you...and you will pay me one MILLion dollars!"
Really? Field trips to the restrooms? The ones we have just aren't that special.
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Drinking a lot always helps.
Wheeeeee! You go, oh evilicious one.
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airball
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« Reply #29 on: September 10, 2008, 06:52:49 PM » |
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To close the deal, I've had great success with, "Now that you've interviewed the big Dr. Airball, how'd you like to spend some quality time with little Dr. Airball?"
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History would kick your ass around the Bodleian Library, and then it would smile and laugh.
-scheherazade
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