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[notdeadyet]

My SO and I have been together 2 years, are deeply in love, deeply committed to each other, and very much want to get hitched.  We're in the same discipline, although I'm a year ahead of hu in the PhD.  I had a moment earlier this summer where I almost proposed, but didn't do it, because this whole job search thing looms mightily, and while our shared search is very much on our minds, neither of us knows the "best" way to approach it.  Ultimately, the Dream is to wind up in the same department somewhere, or at the very least in the same town.  Is there some kind of basic primer out there on this subject?  Threads I haven't yet discovered and read?  Any and all advice much appreciated! 

[englitprof]

Depending on what discipline you're both in, I would not expect to be able to find tenure-track work (or even full-time work) at the same university, or even in the same area code.  Yes, it does happen, but very rarely.  If you are both committed to your careers as well as each other, prepare yourselves for a long-distance relationship.  My husband and I are also in the same field, and we live 800 miles apart.

You will find advice that will help you try to position yourselves as strategically as possible, and that's all well and good.  But don't get your hopes up.

[inthelab]

My spouse and I have similar PhDs. We could be in the same department but you know what?  After 30 years of marriage, I am very glad we are not.  We can get perspective from each other more easily, I think; one set of departmental woes is not another's; and it has reduced "competition."  also keeps our colleagues open with us within our departments.

So you might consider relocating to schools where more than 1 department is a potential match, or to cities with several universities/ colleges to choose from.

[sociological]

A lot depends on what field you're in. But I have definitely met academic couples who are in the same field and have found jobs in the same city or at least close enough that they can live together. My husband and I are in the same field and we're both on the market this year -- our strategy is to apply to schools in metropolitan areas where there are a lot of schools. We'll see how it works out! I have a feeling that only one of us will get an offer, and then the other will be limited to looking the following year in that geographic area. That's not ideal, but in my field, I have seen it work out pretty well. It's true that some schools are open to spousal hires, but I am told that this is generally only something you can finagle later on in your career.

I think it is easier if you are on the job market together. That
way you both feel like you get to apply everywhere you want to, even if produces difficult choices. I was on the market last year, and I'm actually kind of relieved that I didn't get a job, as it certainly would have limited my spouse's options greatly.

[larryc]

What is your field?

If it is the humanities you should both begin thinking about alternative careers and building skills that could make you employable outside the academy. Which is good advice for anyone in the humanities!

[notdeadyet]

Thanks for the good advice, everyone!  I can imagine the logistics of all of this do indeed depend to an enormous extent on the field.  For what it's worth, we're in the social sciences, and both in solid and well-regarded programs (hu's is top-5, mine top-10).  There is definitely some flexibility on finding placements in different departments, actually.  While I think we would both probably prefer to be in our "traditional" department, we are both doing work that crosses some disciplinary boundaries and could find a home in a couple different places...sooo, hopefully that increases our options a bit!

[dr_zack]

Best of luck to you - but prepare to make some tough choices - or consider yourselves VERY lucky - or be happy unemployed for quite a while or working outside of academia.  *WINK*

[larryc]

There is definitely some flexibility on finding placements in different departments, actually.  While I think we would both probably prefer to be in our "traditional" department, we are both doing work that crosses some disciplinary boundaries and could find a home in a couple different places...sooo, hopefully that increases our options a bit!

Only a little bit. You need to keep one foot outside the academy.

[slaccer]

Spouse and I are from a top school in our science field, and in the same department.  It took us about 5 years, visiting and adjunct positions, not getting jobs at each other's schools despite applying, and a relocation to make it happen, but here we are, together, despite being in the same subfield.  It helped enormously that we could make good arguments for being able to do different things.  I teach primarily out of my Ph. D. subfield, but do research in it.  It meets my department's needs - means there are two people offering research projects in the subfield, even though there aren't enough courses in the subfield to go around. 

The department was concerned before hiring Spouse that our research projects were too close (although frankly it lacked the expertise to fully evaluate them, really).  We're careful when thinking about new directions /not/ to choose to go in directions that would bring us closer together.

It can be done, but the getting here was difficult, painful, and although I'm really glad we're here now, I'm not sure I'd choose to relive all of the intermediate parts that got us here.

[iclaudius]

i have to second what a previous poster said. You have to be ready to live apart at least for a while and it helps if one or both of you have options outside of academe. I have a full time job as a professor, my SO is working on finishing hu's PhD. We have been living apart for more than two years now. The first year we lived at different ends of the country, since then it only takes us about 4 hours by car to reach the other. (By the way, it gets really old now to see each other only every second weekend and during school breaks.) While I can pretty much only work in an educational setting, my SO will be qualified to work outside of academe as well once she's done. The pay would actually be better outside of academe for her, but she also would like to teach. We'll see how it works out. My SO will apply to jobs in larger urban areas once she's done with her PhD, and then I have to hope I can get a job nearby.

[verbena]

My SO and I have been together 2 years, are deeply in love, deeply committed to each other, and very much want to get hitched.  We're in the same discipline, although I'm a year ahead of hu in the PhD.  I had a moment earlier this summer where I almost proposed, but didn't do it, because this whole job search thing looms mightily, and while our shared search is very much on our minds, neither of us knows the "best" way to approach it.  Ultimately, the Dream is to wind up in the same department somewhere, or at the very least in the same town.  Is there some kind of basic primer out there on this subject?  Threads I haven't yet discovered and read?  Any and all advice much appreciated! 

Go for it, dude. Propose to her. (Oh! sorry -- I mean propose to hum, or hu!) Don't let this job market nonsense determine when and whether you decide to get engaged.

Just make sure you keep your names the same so that your initial apps don't reveal you're together when and if you apply for the same jobs.

I know couples (both in the humanities and the social sciences) who managed to get TT jobs in the same institution and/or in the same city. It's difficult, and often one or both of them has to give up something (prestige, productivity) but it can happen.

[larryc]

Oh yes, if you are in love, go ahead and propose. That is more important than career.

[spectacle]

My SO and I have been together for five years now... and although we're in different fields, we're pretty resigned to spending at least a year or two apart once we hit the t-track.  It's too bad, but neither of us is willing to give up the career.  And I'm glad we're on the same page about that; to me it's better than risking resentment or unhappiness later.  But every couple is different, and every couple has different needs.  I'd be open with the SO that you'd like to get married, but you're worried about the job prospects. I think it's worth having a conversation to see where s/he stands on the issue, too.

[cat_on_track]

More and more schools are offering dual-career couple accommodations, but they often restrict this to married couples. A few do have domestic partner policies, but they are still rarer. If you are permitted to marry (i.e., straight), it might be a good idea to go ahead since you seem to want to do it anyway. If you are not permitted to marry (gay or lesbian), you should check out the schools' HR sites for hiring policies. Dual-career policies will, of course, only kick in once one of you has gotten the offer AND if the second person is appealing to the relevant department.

[jammer]

My husband and I were in your shoes - and we decided to get married.  At the time, we lived over 1000 miles apart.  I had a one-year appointment and he was still in grad school.  There was no question about which came first - career or love.

Now, we are one of the success stories - we both now have jobs in the same department  - BUT we had to live apart for 4 years and I was at the point of looking at ads at monster.com when my department finally offered him a tt job to fill a line due to an expected retirement.  We had decided that 5 years apart was enough and one of us would get out of academia after that time. 

We also made some sacrifices.  No kids until we could live together.  No new cars, no new wardrobe to start a new job, no nice things.  We had to live like grad students to afford two apartments, two sets of furniture, and travel costs. I packed up all my books every break and moved in with him (because his school had a much better library).  I certainly had no social life to speak of, since I was either working or with him.

So much of this is out of your control.  You do have some things that you can do, however.  If one partner has a tt line, just about the only thing you can do is to make yourself unbelievably valuable to the department, which then has incentives to get you to stay.  I worked liked crazy while we were apart and this (and a very supportive Dean) helped make the impossible happen. 

Did you propose yet?