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[herstory]

Well, this is not from grad school, but I had a colleague who had started her second year at my institution.  We were at a party to welcome new faculty, and after about an hour or so, I asked her if she was enjoying herself.  Her response:
"Not really.  When  you have an I.Q. as high as mine, there aren't that many people you enjoy talking to."

Wow. I think that line takes the cake.

[asteria]

For example, malcha's guide may come across as absurdly self-confident, but to me that obsession with showing off how he found mistakes in the library books is nothing but pitiful. Anyone that obsessed with spotting other people's errors - and bragging about it! - must be petrified by the thought of committing any himself, and thus incapable of really creative scholarship, or even letting himself act like a human being. And smartypants' student, who shows off his accomplishments to such absurd degrees, must be compensating for a dreadful sense of inferiority.

I agree with you to a point, but don't many, probably most, graduate students have similar anxieties? There has to be something more to it than that. And when these people repeatedly disrupt seminars or turn social events into pissing contests, sympathy is not on the short list of things I feel.

[newgradsr]

This is not grad school either, but my freshman year I had a roommate who whined and whined about not getting into their "first choice school" when we already attended elite institution x with a top FIVE program in hu's field. The school hu was rejected from was great too, but not as good as well-regarded as x. Even so,  hu consistently berated the intelligence of hu's fellow classmates (in class!), questioned our intelligence because we (like hu!!) attended x, and bailed out to go to y the next year.

The last time I had the misfortune of speaking to them, hu consistently pestered me to ask about the ranking of x school in various fields, and when told would scoff and say hu didn't believe it.

It was strange to be honest--I don't know whatever happened to hu, except that they ended up changing majors anyway.

I hope they enjoy telling people they transferred out of x to go to y and getting the same derisive scoff back. I just never understood it. Was it a preoccupation with rankings going too far, or just a generally ornery and arrogant individual?

[kiana]

Well, this is not from grad school, but I had a colleague who had started her second year at my institution.  We were at a party to welcome new faculty, and after about an hour or so, I asked her if she was enjoying herself.  Her response:
"Not really.  When  you have an I.Q. as high as mine, there aren't that many people you enjoy talking to."

Wow. I think that line takes the cake.

I agree, but to be honest I've found that those who brag about their IQ/SAT/GRE/whatever often don't have anything else to brag about.

[mountainguy]

So don't get angry at these guys: just feel sorry for them, and reflect on how wonderful it is to be free of whatever inner misery drives them to such grossly antisocial behavior.

I think tangy_rakish_babe speaks the truth here. People who behave this way (both male and female) are showing symptoms of some much deeper problem that makes them so miserable to be around.

I'm not a psychologist, but I have a theory that adults who behave this way had major self-identity issues during childhood and adolescence. They were rewarded and punished by their parents based almost entirely on their accomplishments (grades, performance in sports) rather than their inherent worth as human beings. Some of them may have been overshadowed by a sibling or may have failed spectacularly in some endeavor in which a parent wanted desperately for them to succeed. Their behavior now is simply a misguided attempt to assert their worthiness as a human being.

[llanfair]

[quote author=llanfair link=topic=52266.msg1005503#msg1005503
And then there's the chickie-boo who wailed for weeks over turning 25 ... but that story's already been told on another thread.  Suffice it to say that, as she drama-queened her way to a "quarter century", my 45-year-old a** sat there and laughed at her.

Oh Christ. You should have gotten all the other students together to buy her a hello kitty purse and hannah montana tickets.
[/quote]

Wish I'd thought of that.  I just wanted to slap her silly.

[newgradsr]

Well, this is not from grad school, but I had a colleague who had started her second year at my institution.  We were at a party to welcome new faculty, and after about an hour or so, I asked her if she was enjoying herself.  Her response:
"Not really.  When  you have an I.Q. as high as mine, there aren't that many people you enjoy talking to."

Wow. I think that line takes the cake.

Ironically, I've heard a guy make a similar remark, except it was about never getting married unless he met someone as intelligent as he was.

Granted, this guy was absolutely brilliant, its just that these aren't things one should say...and you know, offensive, etc...

[grasshopper]

So don't get angry at these guys: just feel sorry for them, and reflect on how wonderful it is to be free of whatever inner misery drives them to such grossly antisocial behavior.

I think tangy_rakish_babe speaks the truth here. People who behave this way (both male and female) are showing symptoms of some much deeper problem that makes them so miserable to be around.

Yeah, love and understanding. But sometimes these precious little kittens who don't know enough to sheath their claws can wreak some serious damage. I've seen idiots like this misrepresent the work, actions, and motivations of others to people who don't know what a tool the idiot really is. I may be able to understand why somebody acts the way they do, but that doesn't always excuse the behaviour.

I could give examples, but it would be much too easy to identify people. But I'm sure that all of you can think of some instance when one of those poor dears who had an unhappy childhood has made mistakes that effect other people.




A colleague of mine once forwarded a private email among a group of committee members to a large listserv, and proceeded to make a series of idiotic criticisms and recommendations about the content of the email.

I initially thought it was a mistake, so I emailed him privately noting his faux pas. He then forwarded that email and his second idiotic response to the listserv as well.

With people like that, all you have to do is give them a shovel. They'll dig the hole all by themselves.

[asteria]

So don't get angry at these guys: just feel sorry for them, and reflect on how wonderful it is to be free of whatever inner misery drives them to such grossly antisocial behavior.

I think tangy_rakish_babe speaks the truth here. People who behave this way (both male and female) are showing symptoms of some much deeper problem that makes them so miserable to be around.

I'm not a psychologist, but I have a theory that adults who behave this way had major self-identity issues during childhood and adolescence. They were rewarded and punished by their parents based almost entirely on their accomplishments (grades, performance in sports) rather than their inherent worth as human beings. Some of them may have been overshadowed by a sibling or may have failed spectacularly in some endeavor in which a parent wanted desperately for them to succeed. Their behavior now is simply a misguided attempt to assert their worthiness as a human being.

Aww.


I am still angry. As I expect people would be if they had to suffer through "my misguided attempt to assert [my] worthiness as a human being." A lot of bad stuff gets done for reasons just like that. Bottom line: you're in a seminar with other people. Have some respect. Being narcissistic and self-absorbed isn't any better when it's because of self-loathing rather than self-love. While your assessment may be true, it isn't an excuse. I save my sympathy for those who make an honest effort not to put their emotional needs before everyone else all the d*mned time.

But I have a feeling this is a hijack, so I am gonna bow out.

[magistra]

Are you kidding me?  Do you know what Hannah Montana tickets cost?

Maybe tickets to the movie.  You get 3-D glasses, you know.

[prof_smartypants]

I agree w/ theideaofa. I couldn't care less about the reasons that people suck. They suck, and therefore I make fun of them on anonymous fora. If you're insecure, go talk to your adviser or see a shrink, don't take it out on me.

[kiana]

Yes, but sometimes understanding why helps you point and laugh anonymously instead of just fuming in your office.

On the other hand, you could be one of those lucky people who can easily point and laugh anonymously anyway.

[grasshopper]

They call it "making fun" for a reason. Because it's fun! If it weren't fun, they'd call it "making boring" or something.

[mountainguy]

I agree w/ theideaofa. I couldn't care less about the reasons that people suck. They suck, and therefore I make fun of them on anonymous fora. If you're insecure, go talk to your adviser or see a shrink, don't take it out on me.

I don't disagree. I've vented about such people in the past. Point and laugh all you want, even non-anonymously if it makes you feel better.

Yes, but sometimes understanding why helps you point and laugh anonymously instead of just fuming in your office.

That was exactly my point. I don't excuse the behavior of stupid people. But hypothesizing about why they act the way they do can help to alleviate frustrations.

[llanfair]

They call it "making fun" for a reason. Because it's fun! If it weren't fun, they'd call it "making boring" or something.

I'm with Grassy.  There's a reason Canada's produced some of the world's best comics: we spend a lot of time laughing at those who think they're better than we are.