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[carebearstare]

Inspired by another thread, it seems as though quite a few of us have come across people during our time in graduate school or on the job who fit a similar profile: arrogant, whiny, self-aggrandizing, demanding, and alienating. Generally speaking, it seems like these people are clueless to the negative impact they are having on others around them and don't understand the first thing about collegiality.

So, pony up your stories. What's the most outrageous thing you've seen  this person do?

For instance, a prof in my old program went to observe a graduate student teaching. Said student was teaching a class the prof designed many years ago, and had taught for several  years. At the beginning of class, student said: "Oh, I'm glad you could make it. You should take notes; you might learn something."

[mountainguy]

I have a classmate who won a competitive research fellowship from the university that was paid in lump sum. The classmate squandered the money on all sorts of unnecessary luxuries, like a $2,000 sofa and even bragged about it to peers. Hu ended up needing to take an outside job to pay for living expenses, thus defeating the point of the fellowship. Other classmates now refer to this person as "Moneybags" behind hu's back.

In the end though, I don't let people like this bother me. My colleague wasted a golden opportunity to make major progress on their dissertation, and will have to live with the consequences of that. Slow and steady wins the race, not showy and extravagant. Call me superstitious, but I really do believe that people who behave maliciously or selfishly will eventually get a taste of their own medicine.

[prof_smartypants]

Oh you have no idea.

I have a guy who showed up on his first day, and when told he could have "any available desk in the phd office", chose one that was already occupied. When told by a fellow student that it was occupied, he went to the department chair saying the other student was just racist and didn't want to sit next to him.

About a week later, in our first seminar course, we went around the room to introduce ourselves. Everyone else did the "Hi, i'm blah, and I study blah blah". This one went on for 20 minutes about every paper he's ever written - going back to undergrad.

Same guy constantly interrupts and talks over everyone in any class he is ever in. He is that guy who weighs in on every comment and needs to one-up his peers

When guy defended his diss proposal, he was challenged on his methodology by an expert in said methodology (who is on his committee, and had already pointed this out privately). He told her she didn't understand his field, and that his approach was perfectly valid. His chair finally stepped in and told him to change it to suit what expert prof had suggested.

Most recently, he created his own wikipedia page, claiming to be an expert in all sorts of things, never mentioning that he's a 3rd year grad student who just passed his comps....

Please, continue.

[geonerd]

Most recently, he created his own wikipedia page, claiming to be an expert in all sorts of things, never mentioning that he's a 3rd year grad student who just passed his comps....

Just remember, wikipedia can be edited by anyone. Don't be afraid to make sure that the Public's Encyclopedia is as accurate as it can be. ;)

[malcha]

When I visited my future program as an admitted student, my guide was that cohort's arrogant jerk.  His "tour" of the library consisted of showing me two books where he had caught the authors in error and noted corrections in the margins.  I can't remember if he signed the corrections or not -- think what those books could be worth in future, when his name rings down the ages.

[commcycle]

Most recently, he created his own wikipedia page, claiming to be an expert in all sorts of things, never mentioning that he's a 3rd year grad student who just passed his comps....

So unbelievably tacky. There should be a rule against creating your own wikipedia page.

[grasshopper]

When I visited my future program as an admitted student, my guide was that cohort's arrogant jerk.  His "tour" of the library consisted of showing me two books where he had caught the authors in error and noted corrections in the margins.  I can't remember if he signed the corrections or not -- think what those books could be worth in future, when his name rings down the ages.

Does he list these on his CV as publications?

[t_r_b]

To some degree, I actually sympathize with these guys (most of them seem to be male), and even identify with them a bit. I don't think I've ever come close to the kind of extreme arrogance others are describing, but I have certainly been the guy who was way too aggressive in seminar, or who seemed full of himself, or indifferent to others, or simply socially obtuse. I think some of it really is arrogance, overconfidence, or condescension; some of it is profound insecurity and overcompensation for self-doubt; some of it is fear of showing weakness or vulnerability; some of it is an ingrained sense that life - especially academic life - is inherently competitive and only the strong and stoic survive; and some of it is actually shyness and social anxiety.

That's not to make any excuses for boorish behavior, or to suggest we should be more tolerant of arrogant jerks: it's incumbent on those of us who [can] come across as arrogant jerks to figure out how to become a bit more human, so as to interact functionally with other human beings rather than living life like one long pissing contest. But it can be easier to deal with such people when you think about the anxieties, etc. that often drive such behavior.

For example, malcha's guide may come across as absurdly self-confident, but to me that obsession with showing off how he found mistakes in the library books is nothing but pitiful. Anyone that obsessed with spotting other people's errors - and bragging about it! - must be petrified by the thought of committing any himself, and thus incapable of really creative scholarship, or even letting himself act like a human being. And smartypants' student, who shows off his accomplishments to such absurd degrees, must be compensating for a dreadful sense of inferiority.

So don't get angry at these guys: just feel sorry for them, and reflect on how wonderful it is to be free of whatever inner misery drives them to such grossly antisocial behavior.

[ginger43]

In my grad program, I have the pleasure of enjoying the company of two arrogant morons. A male and a female. During seminar, the male student ridiculed one of the minority professors by imitating his foreign accent. Everyone in the seminar was quite surprised because we could not believe he would actually "go there."

The female student is the class gossip. She knows everybody's business. One day she overheard professors discussing a private matter about one of the grad students, and she repeated the conversation. The department chair called her into the office for a nice long chat.

I also read the other post about Sally. In some ways I am like Sally, but I don't get the highest grades in the class. In fact, I get the lowest grades. Sometimes I am a little puzzled when professors tell me how much they like me and enjoy my presence in their class.

Similar to Sally, I manage to get along with my professors. I guess one reason why I get the help I need is because I don't waste my professors' time. I am an older student, and I find that my younger classmates need a lot of hand holding and reassuring.

[mingus]

Similar to Sally, I manage to get along with my professors. I guess one reason why I get the help I need is because I don't waste my professors' time. I am an older student, and I find that my younger classmates need a lot of hand holding and reassuring.

Getting along with profs is always a good idea.  No matter how smart one might be, if all the profs don't like him/her, they can make it impossible to get a PhD.  The main point of being in a PhD program: get a PhD and get on with your life; if you want to show others how smart you are, there will be plenty of opportunities later. 

[herstory]

I also read the other post about Sally. In some ways I am like Sally, but I don't get the highest grades in the class. In fact, I get the lowest grades. Sometimes I am a little puzzled when professors tell me how much they like me and enjoy my presence in their class.

Similar to Sally, I manage to get along with my professors. I guess one reason why I get the help I need is because I don't waste my professors' time. I am an older student, and I find that my younger classmates need a lot of hand holding and reassuring.

This strikes me as universally true in academe. Merit does matter. But at this stage, nearly everyone is rangers from "very smart" to "completely brilliant." So what does matter? A willingness to work consistently, not cause anyone major headaches, and probably most important, being someone with whom it is a pleasure to work. So if you are cheerful in class and self-assured, I can see why others would take to you. That alone won't guarentee success, but it is a major factor in success. People who enjoy working with you will go out in a limb or listen when you really need something--those without the rapport aren't always so lucky.

[mingus]

[
This strikes me as universally true in academe. Merit does matter. But at this stage, nearly everyone is rangers from "very smart" to "completely brilliant." So what does matter? A willingness to work consistently, not cause anyone major headaches, and probably most important, being someone with whom it is a pleasure to work. So if you are cheerful in class and self-assured, I can see why others would take to you. That alone won't guarentee success, but it is a major factor in success. People who enjoy working with you will go out in a limb or listen when you really need something--those without the rapport aren't always so lucky.

Precisely.  Schmooze.  Suck up, if you have to.  But, call it what you will, as a prof I will any day take an nice, average, hardworking person over the know-it-all annoying twit.  Profs are humans too!  They don't like ***holes anymore than anyone else, regardless of how brilliant the buggers might be.

[llanfair]

I manage to get along with my professors. I guess one reason why I get the help I need is because I don't waste my professors' time. I am an older student, and I find that my younger classmates need a lot of hand holding and reassuring.

This is me as well.  I was the lowest of low-maintenance PhD students and finished in under 5 years - at my age, I didn't have time to waste (this is my 2nd career).  The young 'uns in my cohort aren't in nearly the same hurry, and twist their hands together over every little setback. 

And then there's the chickie-boo who wailed for weeks over turning 25 ... but that story's already been told on another thread.  Suffice it to say that, as she drama-queened her way to a "quarter century", my 45-year-old a** sat there and laughed at her.

[mended_drum]

Well, this is not from grad school, but I had a colleague who had started her second year at my institution.  We were at a party to welcome new faculty, and after about an hour or so, I asked her if she was enjoying herself.  Her response:
"Not really.  When  you have an I.Q. as high as mine, there aren't that many people you enjoy talking to."

[prof_smartypants]

[quote author=llanfair link=topic=52266.msg1005503#msg1005503
And then there's the chickie-boo who wailed for weeks over turning 25 ... but that story's already been told on another thread.  Suffice it to say that, as she drama-queened her way to a "quarter century", my 45-year-old a** sat there and laughed at her.
[/quote]

Oh Christ. You should have gotten all the other students together to buy her a hello kitty purse and hannah montana tickets.