next »

[joey_fan]

I was very disappointed recently when I attended a much-anticipated conference in my subfield only to find the event emotionally damaging. I presented a paper and did get meaningful comments from one colleague - but the entire conference still felt demoralizing.

I'm a young faculty member with little publications so I didn't go to this big thing expecting to be "known" by people in the field - but when I got there I was disturbed by how most attendees treated me. Many were either 'too important' to speak with me upon seeing my non-prestigious name tag (or assuming b/c of my youth I was a grad student) - and it was patently obvious many times they were simply speaking 'past' me, vying for face time with an 'important' person.

I've been to conferences before as a grad student, entirely expecting to be a Nobody. But I found being "Prof. Nobody" at this venue was so demoralizing. I'm naturally shy, and I think this compounds my anxieties.

I wish people would be more inclusive of new folks - faculty and grad students alike.

[whatmeworry]

I'm sorry your experience was so disappointing. As a new phd, I understand your insecurity among the more established faculty.

But I wonder whether you have considered your own actions. That is, did you seek out others who appeared to be alone? Or were you focused on everyone who seemed to be having fun and, therefore, compounding your own feelings of shyness?

It is unlikely that you were intentionally "dissed." More likely, you were just invisible. Actually, that awareness makes me less self-conscious, which helps in these situations.

Good luck!

[joey_fan]

Thanks for the thoughtful reply, whatmeworry.

And I appreciate your reminder to consider my own actions too. Half-way through the conference I realized that were indeed others are the same boat and I started to made an effort to approach people who were sitting on their own etc. (unless they were clearly sending 'I'm busy' signals), and it was through this that I ended up having a fruitful exchange re: my paper. My general comments were more about the entire stressful-busy 'vibe' of the conference more than anything.

I like your thoughts on 'invisibility' though - something to keep in mind for the future.

[notaprof]

Dear JoeyFan,

I think this is a universal feeling for first time attendees at conferences.  The first conference I attended, I had almost every meal in my room because even the one person I knew didn't seem to have time for me and I didn't know how to connect with someone for dinner.  Our conference is just one reception after another most evenings and I hadn't been invited to those either.

Many people come to the conference with their entire calendar already planned out with appointments and meals scheduled so they can meet up with people they only get to see once per year at the conference.  They don't schedule in a meeting that says "Dinner with the new guy."  Next time, try to arrange one or two meetings in advance with people you would like to be acquainted with.  There is also a contingent of other new people there too.  Seek them out and and in a few years that group will be the movers and the shakers and you will be part of them.  The next conference I attended was an improvement and now my name was on the list of last year's attendees and invitations to the receptions started coming in.  I still have not been invited to the one reception that everyone makes a big deal about (lots of free booze involved), but now, I would rather spend time with a few people I know so we can catch up on each other's lives than spend an evening in the cattle call receptions.  

It gets better, just keep going.  I was shy too at first.  

[englitprof]

I think whatmeworry is right on all counts.  The other thing I wonder is if perhaps you project a sense of yourself that still says "grad student." 

I've been trying to think of what started making the difference for me at conferences.  One thing is that I began to meet up with people I knew at other institutions (my MA school as well as my PhD school), who would inevitably have with them friends from yet more institutions, and then we'd all end up at dinner.  Now these others are people I meet up with at conferences, and thus the circle  gradually expands.

I've also made a point of simply starting conversations with people.

[joey_fan]

I think you've actually hit the nail on the head. This conference seemed to confirm that I hadn't yet internalized - or rather, projected - my new role.

I think whatmeworry is right on all counts.  The other thing I wonder is if perhaps you project a sense of yourself that still says "grad student."

[bejesus]

I was very disappointed recently when I attended a much-anticipated conference in my subfield only to find the event emotionally damaging. I presented a paper and did get meaningful comments from one colleague - but the entire conference still felt demoralizing.

I'm a young faculty member with little publications so I didn't go to this big thing expecting to be "known" by people in the field - but when I got there I was disturbed by how most attendees treated me. Many were either 'too important' to speak with me upon seeing my non-prestigious name tag (or assuming b/c of my youth I was a grad student) - and it was patently obvious many times they were simply speaking 'past' me, vying for face time with an 'important' person.

I've been to conferences before as a grad student, entirely expecting to be a Nobody. But I found being "Prof. Nobody" at this venue was so demoralizing. I'm naturally shy, and I think this compounds my anxieties.

I wish people would be more inclusive of new folks - faculty and grad students alike.

Indigo faculty.

[kedves]

This might be about projecting the role of "professor," but there is a lot of truth in the previous comment that many faculty use conferences as reunions.  For those of us whose mentors, colleagues, friends, and grad-schoolmates live far away, the conference is our one chance to see them.  People might be looking past you not because you're unimportant but because they are looking for familiar faces. 

Making plans ahead of time to meet up with people is good advice, as is the advice to social functions such as receptions.  You can also get involved in helping organize talks and events at the conference--you'll meet other people on the committee that way.

[obprof]

I have notice the same phenomenon at conferences in my field. I think that a lot of faculty are trying to meet up with co-authors or old friends from grad school, so their time is limited. I have also noticed that a lot of my colleagues bring their spouses and families along, and are just attending their own session before heading out for sightseeing. This can make it hard to network.

I agree with the other forumites' suggestions, and would also suggest that you plan to do some dinners out (or sightseeing if you have time) on your own if no one else can join you. At the very least walk around and get some takeout, or take one of those guided tours.

[grasshopper]

Is it possible that the people you were trying to talk to at first (those who weren't sitting alone) didn't feel your need to network so much? They've been around for a while, they know people - the Big Names they were eyeing while talking to you may have been old friends or colleagues with whom they had already made plans.

You seem to be assuming that everyone else there shared your agenda - to network, solidify a professional reputation, get scholarly feedback. But that's probably not the agenda of the people who have been in the game for a while. They have a professional network, a solid reputation, and already get feedback regularly from the other solidly reputable scholars in their preexisting professional network. It may not be about you personally, but rather about the game you're playing. They've already played that game.

I'm also left wondering about your conversations with these people. You mentioned that you finally got feedback on your work from someone sitting alone, implying that none of the senior scholars you had approached had offered any constructive feedback. Did you try to initiate conversations about your own work? I ask because that's the sort of conversation you have with your dissertation director. Especially in a casual conversation, nobody wants to talk about someone else's work if they don't know the person or the work, and as you're a junior scholar, chances are they don't know you or your work. This is probably part of that transition from student to peer.

These are just some general thoughts. They may or may not apply.

[fiona]

Next year, if you're on a panel, try to schedule a lunch or dinner or coffee with your fellow panelists. That's an entree into having a circle of friends and colleagues.

The Fiona

[expatinuk]

I remember when I was a new [insert career here] and I attended a 'big' conference/convention for the first time. I felt totally ignored.... so... I picked out one person and talked to that person. Then I found a second person... and talked to that person. Pretty soon I knew 3 or 4 people at the conference. The second year I would organize a panel and I would get to know more people....

Then I volunteered to review submitted papers....

All in all... YOU have to make the effort. No one is going to seek you out and beg you to join in the 'reindeer games'.

[cranefly]

One thing I did as a grad student was attend smaller conferences first-- I went to those with 40 or 50 people attending. I looked everyone up in advance once we'd been given the schedule/agenda, and put together a "talking point" for each  one--an area of mutual interest, or just a "hey, didn't you study at X?" or "Oh, you live in Denmark don't you?" A few people I emailed in advance to say, "I read your article. Can we get a chance to meet up for coffee at the conference...?"

At the conference, I made a point of meeting every single person and striking up a conversation--even if it was short.

I am naturally very shy, but I just pretended I was acting like I was a businessperson and this was a business conference, and put myself out there. I made several friends, had a lunch date/dinner invite every night, met everyone, and even got invited to apply to a couple jobs from one conference.

In short, it was preparation in advance that made the conference work for me. Now, I always make a point of meeting grad students and trying to introduce them around, as well as go up to the bigwigs who still intimidate me. Although I admit I'm part of the "cliques". Fact is, I feel very isolated where I work now, and conferences are where I get to catch up with people that I know "think like me" and are friends that go back to grad school in many cases. As others point out, they're not networking events for me anymore.

[turnip123]

Mostly I can echo what's been said here already -- you have to be proactive and not worry too much about the deep meaning of every social action.

That said, there are more than a few folks out there who do behave terribly.  I remember once sitting at dinner next to a colleague who was all buddy-buddy with me until Someone Important sat next to him.  He literally turned his chair and used his body to block me out of their conversation!  Later I learned that most of his colleagues detest him.

[dellaroux]

Another thing to do to connect with people is to be sure to spend time at the displays and book tables if there are any. You will be able to talk to people who are looking at a book that interests you (or that you've read) if you do so casually, and the people who run the tables are often bored silly if no-one has come through their booth in awhile and may be very interesting folks (and sometimes quite important ones--they may run some part of the journal their organization produces, for example, or be in charge of occasional publications--not a bad contact to have...) in their own right.

And I agree with the "get out and go see the town" idea, too. Many conferences take place in very interesting towns that no-one ever leaves the hotel to visit. Especially be sure to see if any libraries or universities in the area have resources or faculty members in your field, even if they're not directly participating in the conference itself.

And if you get an assigned roommate, be sure to take time to talk with them. I'm still in touch, 5 years later, with a prof from another country with whom I roomed at a conference that I haven't returned to since...they were just over here last month and we spent a great day visiting together!

Make it good for yourself and others, and it will become so.