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[denver]

Here is my situation...  I'm five years into a dual body, cross-country commuting relationship.  We both have tenure-track jobs, in more or less the same field, but it is looking less and less like we are ever going to resolve our situation.  On one end there are endless suggestions of possibilities, waiting for retirements, etc. but no real action.  On the other, a small department with a chair threatened by half of his department being "on the same team." 

What is particularly troubling recently is that both ends are hiring and with little attention to our problem.  We have watched dual-career couples solve their problems at our institutions, even in our departments - to be told each time that "it is a different situation."  One time it was because it was a senior hire, another time a diversity hire, then it was a junior hire... Every situation is different, but when does our number come up?  Every turn seems intended not to create policy that might help us.  One institution is undertaking a massive hiring spree (at least 4 rumored new positions in the program) but somehow we can't get anyone to consider solving our situation.

We have tried being team players, being good publishers, complaining, not complaining, talking up and down the hierarchy.  Everyone expresses sympathy and supports finding a solution - but without any real action taking place.
We are in a field with a horrid job market situation - 300 applications for a single job - and have been on the market with some interviews, but no offers.
Five years on is getting difficult.

   My questions to the virtual knowledge base are two fold:

First, economic - we are going broke doing this.  In reviewing our finances recently we discovered that 80% of one salary goes to commuting costs - and the horrors of airline travel suggest that will get worse.  We have two of every bill and cost - it is getting unmanageable.  We have been wondering if there is any way to deduct these costs as a business expense or if anyone had a better solution.

Second, any general advice on getting mentors, chairs, deans to move from "yes, we'd like to help" to actually helping.  This concern is foremost on our minds on a daily basis, but likely doesn't occur to those around us unless we are directly in front of them.  Right now, my chair has proposed pursuing a spousal-hire in our department for an incoming hire and doesn't seem to see that might be upsetting to me. (The same thing happened to my partner who threw a fit - and it didn't happen, but not because of the intervention.)

I'd love to hear some success stories - especially from people who solved or at least stabilized a two-body situation after a long separation.  Most of the stories I have heard have been a one or two year separation, then a joyous solution (or a resigned solution) - but I would love to hear that someone fought the long fight and won.
Anon.

[malcha]

Probably nothing you haven't thought of, but:

I know you are on the market, but are you and your partner applying, individually, to absolutely everything you might fit?  Even if it is a job that doesn't in itself offer a prospect of solving your two body problem, if either of you gets an outside offer that person would have more leverage with his/her existing department.

I'm single myself but I have seen a lot of people go through this, and beyond persistence and flexibility, I'm afraid it boils down to the universe being random and unfair.  Some people have a perfect solution fall into their laps.  Some arrive at an acceptable compromise after arduous searching.  And in some cases, one or the other has given up the academic career.  Are either you or your partner willing to explore other career options?

[daniel_von_flanagan]

At least one of you is going to have to apply for jobs in a third university.  Spousal hires are only an advantage to a department from the recruitment and retention point of view.  If you are well-liked at your department, even simply going on the market might get them to do something for you. - DvF

[nonanona]

I have to agree with dvf. You played the good guy and they didn't listen. Unfortunately, your chances of finding a 2nd position to turn up are best if you have a competing offer from somewhere else. Its amazing how those positions will turn up in cases of retention. Also, some schools have rules about creating a 2nd position to retain or attract a hire, but only if the position would be a female or minority hire.

[denver]

Thanks for the thoughts (and especially "sometimes life is just unfair" - which seems to be closest to the truth).  We each gave our respective institutions 2 years to play nice and then we went aggressively on the job market.  As I mentioned, getting a job offer hasn't happened for us.  When reviewing application for my job, my institution received 300 submissions and each year there are less than a dozen jobs each of us are appropriate for.  So, we need lightening to strike a third time. 
And yes, the obvious 'solution' is for one of us to pursue other options or to accept a position as an adjunct or at a non-research institution - we aren't there yet.  In a strange way, I feel like having lost so many years to this fight, giving up now would suggest that those years had been wasted.

Does anyone have insight on the financial matters?  As we travel back an forth, usually with seat-mates who are in business - they are amazed that our "employer" does nothing to help with commuting costs.  These are executives (usually men) who are paid to maintain second homes and commute to visit their families who do not want to move to a new location where they are.  As anyone in academia knows, this doesn't happen, but I'm hoping for some tax break or deduction that will help us.

[2bodyprob]

This is a good point about the executives getting help to commute. But they are also paid more than academics so it is both even more "unfair" and not surprising that they get help and we don't.

I don't know of many 2 body problems that worked out well. Not without going away somewhere else anyway. I am in a similar situation. My spouse, however, does not have a faculty position and is on soft money in my department, which will not work out for very long, financially speaking.  We are also hiring a large number of new people and spouse applied. No interview, though. Not even an adjunct position. lots of BS. A few people understand and hope we won't leave, who hope a solution will be found but not much happens, apart from charity for spouse to do some of the science he loves and still be active in his field.   We are going to leave. There is no way around it. My department has a history of not solving 2 body problems and letting some big "stars" go away. And whatever solution they might come up with, it is not the one we want. So, like others told you before me, applying elsewhere is the only solution.

[daniel_von_flanagan]

There are many people who have fallen by the wayside while trying unsuccessfully to solve the one-body problem.  A PhD is not a guarantee of a job. - DvF

[history_grrrl]

The title of this thread says it all, or almost all. The OP and partner are basically in the same small field. In my department, the chances of hiring someone else in my (very large) field are practically nil; it's just not our main focus, and we're just beginning to add fields that are much more in need of representation. Given the size and scope of your respective departments, is it realistic to expect an additional hire in your small field? I agree with others that a third institution -- one that can afford, in more ways than one, to hire two people in the same small field -- is probably the only way to go.

[larryc]

You should both be developing alternative careers, because it seems pretty likely that one of you will have to give up on academia.

[new_bus_prof]

In my field, 2-body problems when both are in the same specialty are usually only solved if one of them is going to fill an administrative position (Director, Dean, Chair, etc.).

[terpsichore]

This is a really tough situation.  An option (one that you may not like) is to find out whether you can split one faculty position at one or the other of your current institutions. This would work best if you are in a field that allows you to supplement your income with research grants (like the sciences).  If you go this route, it's important to spell out the expectations in writing with a high-level administrator (preferably a memo signed by the dean and not just the department chair), so you and your partner don't end up doing two jobs for one salary. You might have better luck with this after you get tenure.

[daniel_von_flanagan]

It sounds like both of the OP/OP Spouse institutions have a history of creating spousal positions; the question is, how to induce them to create one for this poster.  Creating a retention situation, not actually moving, is the point of  applying for a new job. - DvF

[prof_tournesol]

The business men who get travel expenses paid to commute are people whom their employers would absolutely hate to lose - they are seen as not easily replaced. Given the fact that your school(s) have histories of spousal appointments, but won't do one in your case, plus the 300 applicants for a dozen jobs, tells me that your school would not hate to lose you. Either they think that you can't get out or they think that they can easily hire someone to replace you or both.

If you want a spousal in this situation you need to make it so that your school would hate to lose you, which could mean getting another offer, or it means making yourself at least a minor star in your field. If you can't do that, one of you should be looking at other careers.

[erictho]

OP -- Hubby and I were in a similar situation (right down to both being in the same discipline) and solved it (to some extent) prof_tournesol's way. Because Hubby publishes quite a bit and another uni was expressing some interest in him, to keep Hubby, his department offered me a long-term adjunct position (I do not have star value which might be why they didn't offer a tenure-track).

Best advice, if you want to stay in academia, what others have said: work on making yourself a star (or have spouse make herself a star; best approach, both of you become stars) and give 1 or both (or even a 3rd) department / university cause to want you both as a package deal.

[rumpumpel]

You asked for some success stories... We spent 4 years apart with our respective employers knowing about but ignoring the situation. It was very frustrating, especially since spousal hires were happening for other people. In the end we both went on the market and were offered jobs in a third location. My employer got downright nasty at that point, my partner's created a spousal position for me that we turned down since the new offer was better. Hang in there! Go on the market again, maybe you will be lucky this time! To reduce the cost of travel, could you rearrange your schedule to spend longer stretches of time and reduce the number of trips?

Good Luck!