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[chigagolake]

Hi,
Hoping you all could give me some feedback on this.

I am in a summer fellowship that draws scholars from across the country. It is heavily male (about a 4 to 1 ratio) which is not a surpise as this field is male-dominated.

Gender has not been an issue for the past four weeks, but recently one older, male participant has decided to harrass a younger (and attractive) female participant by doing the following:

inviting her to spend the night with him "so she doesn't get lonely"
commenting on how her role as a mother makes her less productive
trying to sit next to her in seminar meetings even though she always picks a seat farther away

The rest of us have told him to back off and have tried to diffuse the situation with humor and she has tried to do so as well. But it is getting really uncomfortable.

I personally think the guy just likes to hear himself talk and wants to make the seminar more lively. No one ever wants to do anything with him socially (partly, because most of us are very serious about the work and want to do our research rather than go out) and I think hs is taking his frustruations out on our seminar-mate.

I'm sick of watching it now, and wonder if I should say something to our professor or the fellowship sponsor? It does seem to be getting worse for her. 

[jacaranda_]

Yes, someone should definitely say something.  The best people to approach the professor (is there one person leading a seminar here?) would be the most senior female and male participants in the seminar who have already clearly indicated their concern about the situation.  Hopefully the seminar leader won't feel uncomfortable handling this situation, but it's a tricky one.

[ideagirl]

Hopefully the seminar leader won't feel uncomfortable handling this situation, but it's a tricky one.

This doesn't sound tricky to me. It sounds blatant and clear as a bell, not to mention potentially lawsuit-worthy. This a-hole must be told to stop in no uncertain terms, and forced to stop if necessary (e.g., if he does it again after being told to stop, he literally should be told to leave the seminar, and if he refuses, the seminar should "leave" him--everyone else should get up and leave). The seminar leaders and other seminar members must act as one in this matter. So, it promises to be quite an uncomfortable situation between now and the time he starts behaving properly--but "uncomfortable" is not the same as "tricky."

[chigagolake]

One other thing I felt I should mention:

The professor is a mild mannered man who has trouble redirecting the conversation when the harrasser talks in our seminar. He would be sympathetic, but I doubt, effective.

[pandora]

Well, if we're going to go the legal route, the woman being harassed could begin by sending an email to the offending seminar member so that there is a paper trail.  Maybe something like, "Dear Prof. Unwanted Attention -- It seems that my discouraging behavior in response to some of your friendly gestures is not clear enough.  So perhaps it may be helpful for me to say very clearly -- for the record -- that I find your behavior and your invitations for more intimate interaction completely unwelcome.  I must ask you to respect my personal space and my wishes to maintain a more formal, professional relationship during this seminar.  I hope we can resolve this situation between ourselves in an amicable manner."

I would be surprised if he kept up the nonsense after that.   

[ideagirl]

Pandora, that's a great idea.

As for the mild-mannered professor: if he can't handle this, then he needs to be asked to cooperate when a more take-charge person handles it. Obviously it would be preferable for Dr. Mild-Mannered to grow a backbone and do it himself, but the alternative of letting the harassment continue is not acceptable, so if he finds himself unable to grow a backbone, someone with a backbone should--with prior notice to Dr. Mild-Mannered--take charge.

A side note: since the harasser sits near this woman despite her efforts to prevent him from doing so, what say fellow members of the seminar all sit around her, making it impossible for him to sit close to her?

[qrypt]

If a straightforward above-the-belt approach doesn't seem possible for some reason, perhaps a below-the-belt approach is worth considering: let him find out, anonymously, that people are saying that the last time he went after someone like this, he was unable to get it up. 

[chigagolake]

Great ideas, thanks everyone.

We have tried to watch out for our colleague by making sure he doesn't get a seat by her but we will step up our efforts.

Someone suggested yesterday that we alert the university offering the fellowship? Is this a good idea?

[pandora]

If you alert university authorities, you are turning it into a legal matter.  For reasons of basic decency (i.e., allowing for the possibility that Prof. UA doesn't understand yet that what he's doing is offensive and inappropriate), and for legal protocol, you really ought to have something on the record about the fact that Prof. UA has been told in clear terms that his conduct is unacceptable, and that he chose to ignore those warnings.  Otherwise it becomes a much more messy affair.  I really do think he'll knock it off if he's told to do so with the implicit threat that it will be made a formal matter -- next.

[donstefano]

Why do people speak about harrassment and legal stuff? To me this men just looks like a socially awkward person. Very annoying, yes. But not exactly court material.

[tenured_feminist]

Why do people speak about harrassment and legal stuff? To me this men just looks like a socially awkward person. Very annoying, yes. But not exactly court material.

Depends on how bad it gets. If he's behaving in a way that 1) is severe and pervasive, 2) affects the terms or conditions of her participation in the seminar, 3) would offend any other reasonable person, and 4) is based on gender or sexuality, then the sponsoring authorit(ies) could be in trouble if they had reasonable notice and did not rectify the situation.

Repeated (and repeatedly declined) invitations to engage in sexual activity and gender-based denigration of one's capacity to do one's job effectively are two pretty classic examples of hostile environment-creating behavior in legal terms.

Sounds to me like we crossed the socially awkward line a few passes ago.

[tenured_feminist]

Oh, I am assuming we have younger female junior scholar harassee and tenured scholar as harasser, right?

The Clark Kent in charge of this thing needs to be told to take off his glasses and find the nearest phone booth. Alternatively, have you a tenured feminist on hand to read the necessary riot acts? :)

[prytania3]

Maybe the harassee doesn't want anything official done. Maybe she thinks it will hurt her career somehow. At any rate, I'm assuming she's grown and can complain to the necessary people herself.
Just another viewpoint.

[kedves]

Maybe the harassee doesn't want anything official done. Maybe she thinks it will hurt her career somehow. At any rate, I'm assuming she's grown and can complain to the necessary people herself.
Just another viewpoint.

I was wondering about this, too.  For those who advise taking steps on her behalf, is this something you would do without asking her if she wanted help?

[chigagolake]

Despite the age difference, both the harasser and harassee are associate professors, I believe. They work in different areas of our field, so I don't think they will have any contact beyond this seminar.

We don't have a TF to help us, no. When a few of us went to lunch this week, another senior woman in the seminar told the woman being harrased to stick it out since she needs a good letter from the professor for her promotion to full.

One of the other two women is a graduate student and the other is so wrapped up in her research, I doubt she even knows what is happening.

There are three senior male faculty in the room. All of them are aware of what is happening but aren't really doing anything. They seem embarrassed by the whole thing.

The rest of us feel angry that we have to witness someone who doesn't know how to behave (or, probably does know, but just doesn't give a sh**). I think our female colleague has done a good job sticking up for herself thus far, but it seems to be wearing on her. I just keep thinking about how pissed I would be if this was happening to my wife (another academic).

I said as much to the woman being harrassed and she said she deals with guys like him all the time since our field is so heavily male. She is as annoyed and upset as the rest of us but probably is protecting her career as someone mentioned.