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paultuttle
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« Reply #165 on: August 28, 2009, 09:20:03 AM » |
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(This is all to the same person.)
. . . that you need to shower more often than once a month, wear cleaner and more attractive clothes (not those godawful 1970s ill-fitting Goodwill finds that you never take to the cleaners), smoke a LOT less, drive a car without those clouds of pungent blue exhaust following it, eat MUCH less fermented fish sauce, speak MUCH more understandable English, learn how to be both intelligent and humble about it (instead of neither), accept that your research interests are not interesting to sponsors, find out how to teach effectively, read a book on American professional etiquette, and shake hands with people only after wiping your hands on your slacks to reduce that constant clamminess. Are you trying to offend EVERY sense of EVERY person you meet?
Oh, and write a publishable article, if you can. You're up for tenure in the spring, after six years of bouncing into my office without warning whenever you feel like it to talk about your research ideas, which aren't any more advanced than a first-year undergraduate's rehearsal of research methods.
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Luck favors the prepared.
--Edna Mode, The Incredibles
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chenar
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« Reply #166 on: September 02, 2009, 06:14:07 PM » |
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I am too embarrassed to tell you, beloved colleagues, that I was in my office all afternoon, chewing bubble gum, twirling my hair and reading Amy Hollywood.
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Mixing up purple and orange plaids
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mirandaf
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« Reply #167 on: September 02, 2009, 07:55:38 PM » |
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(This is all to the same person.)
. . . that you need to shower more often than once a month, wear cleaner and more attractive clothes (not those godawful 1970s ill-fitting Goodwill finds that you never take to the cleaners), smoke a LOT less, drive a car without those clouds of pungent blue exhaust following it, eat MUCH less fermented fish sauce, speak MUCH more understandable English, learn how to be both intelligent and humble about it (instead of neither), accept that your research interests are not interesting to sponsors, find out how to teach effectively, read a book on American professional etiquette, and shake hands with people only after wiping your hands on your slacks to reduce that constant clamminess. Are you trying to offend EVERY sense of EVERY person you meet?
Oh, and write a publishable article, if you can. You're up for tenure in the spring, after six years of bouncing into my office without warning whenever you feel like it to talk about your research ideas, which aren't any more advanced than a first-year undergraduate's rehearsal of research methods.
Hmm, sounds like your problem with offensive colleague may fix itself in a matter of months. As to the thread topic, let's see... I suppose I could say I should be embarrassed to tell my fellow forumites that I'm watching "My Antonio" on VH1. Another dating competition show with Antonio Sabato Jr., and one of the competitors for his affections is his ex-wife. But I'm not embarrassed about watching this. Really. I'm not. |
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I am some stranger on the internet advising you about your uterus. I am not sure how much weight you should give to my advice. |
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stitch
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« Reply #168 on: September 03, 2009, 03:23:22 PM » |
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As to the thread topic, let's see... I suppose I could say I should be embarrassed to tell my fellow forumites that I'm watching "My Antonio" on VH1. Another dating competition show with Antonio Sabato Jr., and one of the competitors for his affections is his ex-wife. But I'm not embarrassed about watching this. Really. I'm not.
OMFG. That is awful. Talk about a train wreck. Why do people agree to do these shows? What must have happened to them that they are so desperate? |
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zoelouise
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« Reply #169 on: September 04, 2009, 07:04:39 AM » |
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As to the thread topic, let's see... I suppose I could say I should be embarrassed to tell my fellow forumites that I'm watching "My Antonio" on VH1. Another dating competition show with Antonio Sabato Jr., and one of the competitors for his affections is his ex-wife. But I'm not embarrassed about watching this. Really. I'm not.
I am watching it, too! It's entirely entertaining, and at the end of each episode my brain actually feels a bit smaller. The hysterical Sarah, the "I am not a diva, I am just upset that you're not paying enough attention to me" woman (gone now), the overbearing mother, the desperate ex-wife, the playmate...ahhhh, what a mix. Hubs and I both think he ends up with the ex. I am a little sad that there is basically no chance that anyone on the show knows that the title is a clever play on the title of a Willa Cather novel... |
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You ain't a beauty but hey you're alright
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ab_grp
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« Reply #170 on: September 04, 2009, 07:13:51 AM » |
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As to the thread topic, let's see... I suppose I could say I should be embarrassed to tell my fellow forumites that I'm watching "My Antonio" on VH1. Another dating competition show with Antonio Sabato Jr., and one of the competitors for his affections is his ex-wife. But I'm not embarrassed about watching this. Really. I'm not.
Oh boy. I guess I could reply that I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone outside this thread that I totally forgot to start taping "My Antonio" and felt a sharp twinge of dagnabbitness about that when I read your post. I am also too embarrassed to tell my colleague Napoleon that he is nowhere near as respected or loved as he thinks he is. Between the smug strutting around, jealousy-inspired power plays, delusions of grandeur, and general hat-like behavior (hattitude?), most of the folks he is trying to impress have written him off. |
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mirandaf
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« Reply #171 on: September 04, 2009, 05:52:18 PM » |
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I'm too embarrassed to tell you that you are really creepy. And boring. Quite an impression to make in - what? - 30 seconds. I will never, ever again be alone with you in a small confined space. Creepazoid.
I bet you creep out your students, too.
<shudder>
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I am some stranger on the internet advising you about your uterus. I am not sure how much weight you should give to my advice. |
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bread_pirate_naan
Preposterous
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 5,255
softwears
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« Reply #172 on: September 04, 2009, 07:07:10 PM » |
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smug strutting around, jealousy-inspired power plays, delusions of grandeur, and general hat-like behavior (hattitude?)
You are a genius. Neologism of the decade. Alert the one-off thread. |
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In unrelated news, I'd like a slice of cake. --corny / It will go great. --jackalope
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prof_smartypants
Treasure-pilferin' and grog-swillin'
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 6,644
Kiss the baby!
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« Reply #173 on: September 04, 2009, 07:23:30 PM » |
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Dear TT colleague who got my job.
As a non-TT professor, I'd really prefer that you cease trying to convince me that it's "totally cool" to hang out with and even date the grad students in our department. Given this recent [constant] discussion, I'm not entirely clear how you ever got the TT job over me. I will be avoiding you. Now you know why. Oh, and I'm totally crapping all over your research at every chance. Because it's stupid. And you suck. And I'm better than you. And people are quickly starting to realize that.
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Welcome to college, motherf*cker.
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ab_grp
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« Reply #174 on: September 05, 2009, 08:47:47 AM » |
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smug strutting around, jealousy-inspired power plays, delusions of grandeur, and general hat-like behavior (hattitude?)
You are a genius. Neologism of the decade. Alert the one-off thread. Wow! I think I feel a signature line coming on. |
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secretweapon
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« Reply #175 on: September 05, 2009, 03:38:14 PM » |
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Dear TT colleague who got my job.
As a non-TT professor, I'd really prefer that you cease trying to convince me that it's "totally cool" to hang out with and even date the grad students in our department. Given this recent [constant] discussion, I'm not entirely clear how you ever got the TT job over me. I will be avoiding you. Now you know why. Oh, and I'm totally crapping all over your research at every chance. Because it's stupid. And you suck. And I'm better than you. And people are quickly starting to realize that.
Damn. Strong stuff! |
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If you want a cookie, bake a cookie.
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always_seeking
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« Reply #176 on: September 05, 2009, 03:39:42 PM » |
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... that you really stink. Everytime you ride in my car it smells like "sweaty female panties." Yuck! The smell lingers for days. I know that you MUST smell yourself.
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marigolds
looks far too young to be a
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 6,282
if it ain't ruff it ain't me
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« Reply #177 on: September 05, 2009, 03:46:01 PM » |
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... that you really stink. Everytime you ride in my car it smells like "sweaty female panties." Yuck! The smell lingers for days. I know that you MUST smell yourself.
Aaaaugh! Gross. Don't give her (goodness, I *hope* it's a her!) rides home any more. Yuck. |
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"You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors."
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_touchedbyanoodle_
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« Reply #178 on: September 05, 2009, 03:56:43 PM » |
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Oh, I so totally need this thread...
"Look, I know that you are sad that you had to leave your house and your boyfriend behind, because you lost your position in that state where academia is totally f***ed up right now, but you need to start faking at least a little bit of enthusiasm for the job you have here. Also, please stop rolling your eyes every time you see any evidence of the fact that, yes, we do teach at a Cowboy College. They like rodeos. Learn to find it endearing. If you don't, you just look like a snob. Come on, I'll take you shopping for some kick ass cowboy boots. I'm looking for a pink pair."
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"Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist." -George Carlin
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asa_phelps
How did I become a
Senior member
Posts: 606
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« Reply #179 on: September 05, 2009, 04:49:08 PM » |
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Dear Colleague, I like you but I really don't need or want to hear everything about your daughter and the wonderfully cute stuff she does on a daily basis.
Dear Colleague, You looked pretty presentable on the first day of classes but now all your clothes look two sizes two big. Watch "What Not To Wear" sometime. And eat a fricken sandwich or two...with Bacon!
Dear Colleague, SHUT THE F@#% UP!
Dear Colleague, Agreeing to teach an overload and then constantly complaining about it is not the way to make friends.
Dear Colleague, Are you on sabbatical or are you teaching this semester? No one really can tell the difference.
Dear Colleague, Please take this in the best possible way, you are too nice.
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