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barcrossliar
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« on: June 18, 2008, 11:41:15 AM » |
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I'm too embarrassed to say this to your face, but I like you, so I hope you'll read it.
Colleague, please take down the "Who's Who" plaque. It makes you look naive.
And other colleague, I can still smell the perfume 5 minutes after you pass by my door, but I can also still smell the cigarette smoke that it's supposed to mask. The smoke is better.
Does anyone else have something they'd like to say to a valued colleague? Not a rant, just something you can't bring yourself to say to them because you don't want to hurt their feelings.
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Every educated person's not a plumb greenhorn. "where whining mendeth nothing, wherefore whine?"--R.L. Stevenson +-LR is wise. Listen.
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phdbliss
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« Reply #1 on: June 18, 2008, 11:44:32 AM » |
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"Bite me" comes to mind.
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offthemarket
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« Reply #2 on: June 18, 2008, 11:57:53 AM » |
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I'm embarrassed to tell you how silly you were when you told me I was making a mistake by choosing to raise an only child.
Because you ended up with three kids, your wife racked up tons of credit card debt and then she took everything in the settlement, and you are left with three teenage boys in this McMansion in the suburbs that you can't sell even if you wanted to and you are freaking out about not being able to pay the bills much less send them to college.
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anthroid
Annoying bad luck snails
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 16,002
No happy socks because nobody gets Manitoba.
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« Reply #3 on: June 18, 2008, 12:05:41 PM » |
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"Shut up."
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Do you hail from Planet Hello Kitty? It's like an action movie, but boring.
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wild_rose
Uncharacteristically optimistic
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 9,738
The thrill of modern postism!
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« Reply #4 on: June 18, 2008, 12:09:16 PM » |
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I told you so.
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"[M]y toast just landed jelly side up so I think that bodes well for averting world-ending disasters. I have faith in bread although the toasted aspect may mean you're going to have withstand some heat for a brief time and some aloe jelly will come in handy." --Notaprof, the Great Seer
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reesespeanutbutter
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« Reply #5 on: June 18, 2008, 12:10:10 PM » |
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I don't think you're going to make it through this program unless you wise up and learn some of the things the rest of us have learned about how this whole thing works. You just don't seem to have a clue what you're really into with this grad school thing--nor do you seem interested in listening to those of us trying to help you.
Dedicated to about 3 colleagues.
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The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
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zharkov
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« Reply #6 on: June 18, 2008, 12:11:42 PM » |
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To colleague one: Sorry, ABD is not a degree. Having your door sign and email signature with "Prof. Pat Jones, ABD" just makes you look silly.
To colleague two: Sorry, you need to choose Dr. or PhD, but not both. Having your door sign and email sig with "Dr. Chris Brown, PhD" is overkill.
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__________ Zharkov's Razor: Adapting Zharkov a bit to this situation, ignorance and confusion can explain a lot.
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prytania3
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« Reply #7 on: June 18, 2008, 12:30:57 PM » |
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You people have no idea how to vote in college elections. You are politically clueless. You always vote for the person least likely to support your interests. How stupid are you?
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Clowns, I tell you. Clowns.
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bacardiandlime
Ninja
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 3,257
That makes me more gangster than you
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« Reply #8 on: June 18, 2008, 12:35:00 PM » |
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To colleague one: Sorry, ABD is not a degree. Having your door sign and email signature with "Prof. Pat Jones, ABD" just makes you look silly.
To people at the AHA who gave me business cards saying 'Your Name, ABD'. I wasn't coughing, I was trying not to laugh. [Seriously what's wrong with cards that say 'MA'? That's an actual DEGREE. Put 'PhD candidate, dept of X, University of Twitsville' under your name if you want] To my colleague who refers to jobs she's applying to in the possessive, eg. 'after I get my job at X university': get over yourself. You're not that good, and even the senior prof brought in from outside to examine your diss. thought it was boring, and that you know nothing. |
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YOU ARE NASTY
Go jump in lake!
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chenar
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« Reply #9 on: June 18, 2008, 01:05:53 PM » |
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Real skinny colleagues: when I smile broadly at you in the student union, near the food court, it conceals my deeper desire to eat all of your chocolate bar or other non-dietary food item.
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Mixing up purple and orange plaids
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scotia
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« Reply #10 on: June 18, 2008, 01:16:23 PM » |
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To one of my senior colleagues who can turn any conversation and any occasion to center around him and how wonderful he is: "It's not all about you". Recent example, he is mentor to a friend of mine and managed to introduce his CV three minutes after the start of a friend's annual review. They then spent about 30 minutes going through his CV and approximately 3 minutes discussing friend's progress and aspirations before senior colleague rushed off to his next 'important' meeting.
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avatara
New member
Posts: 49
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« Reply #11 on: June 18, 2008, 01:27:38 PM » |
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To a former senior colleague: Desk-dining over a plate of pastrami and pickles at lunch makes for an unpleasant afternoon for everyone in the office. And please invest in a spool of dental floss! (Shudder)
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quercus
New member
Posts: 43
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« Reply #12 on: June 18, 2008, 02:01:13 PM » |
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Colleague, no one is fooled by that lousy hair dye. Maybe we would be if you invested in it more often and didn't let two inches of steel-gray roots grow out of your mousy brown.
Here's a tip: it's called a rinse, and it covers the gray and fades with washings. Every few weeks, spend another 3 bucks and reapply.
Oh, and those turquoise necklaces you bought on your trip to Arizona 25 years ago? They do not qualify you as an expert on Native American culture.
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galactic_hedgehog
Procrastinating, Python-quoting, Blue Blazer-drinking, chocolate-chip cookie-eating, Pastafarian, Not So
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 18,564
Mind Ninja
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« Reply #13 on: June 18, 2008, 02:02:27 PM » |
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I like you. A lot. Really. But that statement? About "keeping an open mind" about that subject? You're an idiot.
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Your professors were probably afraid of your galactic genius and did everything they could (behind the scenes) to thwart your hedginess. Hedgie loves to read. |
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sweetater
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« Reply #14 on: June 18, 2008, 02:02:37 PM » |
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I can hear you passing gas from down the hall. Your office has a door, close it on days when you've had beans for lunch.
ah! I would like to say that in person.
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