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[bookishone]

Dear sciprofmw,

I'm sending this message to find out if there's any way that you can adjust my guess so that I win the desperate email pool. I was really really busy with spring rush and felt kinda sick, too, during the days that you were sponsoring the pool, and I think that I could have put in a better guess if I hadn't had to miss two weeks of class and the final exam. My guess of 23 is less than 20 points away from the winning guess, and if I don't win the virtual money, I don't know what I'll do! Ever since I was a little kid I've had a dream of buying my way into a virtual career, and I was really excited about what I could do with the winning money, but now that dream has been crushed by your decision. I am devastated by your policy of only accepting one accurate guess to win. Is there anything, anything at all that I can do to get a makeup guess? Or can you round my guess down to the winning number? I've tried so hard to win this pool and you are my last chance!!!!!!!

Sincerely,
Bookish_One

[see_wolf]

Dear sciprofmw,

I'm sending this message to find out if there's any way that you can adjust my guess so that I win the desperate email pool. I was really really busy with spring rush and felt kinda sick, too, during the days that you were sponsoring the pool, and I think that I could have put in a better guess if I hadn't had to miss two weeks of class and the final exam. My guess of 23 is less than 20 points away from the winning guess, and if I don't win the virtual money, I don't know what I'll do! Ever since I was a little kid I've had a dream of buying my way into a virtual career, and I was really excited about what I could do with the winning money, but now that dream has been crushed by your decision. I am devastated by your policy of only accepting one accurate guess to win. Is there anything, anything at all that I can do to get a makeup guess? Or can you round my guess down to the winning number? I've tried so hard to win this pool and you are my last chance!!!!!!!

Sincerely,
Bookish_One

And it will JUST be between you and sciprofmw, right?  You won't tell anyone else!

[sugaree]

Dear sciprofmw,

I'm sending this message to find out if there's any way that you can adjust my guess so that I win the desperate email pool. I was really really busy with spring rush and felt kinda sick, too, during the days that you were sponsoring the pool, and I think that I could have put in a better guess if I hadn't had to miss two weeks of class and the final exam. My guess of 23 is less than 20 points away from the winning guess, and if I don't win the virtual money, I don't know what I'll do! Ever since I was a little kid I've had a dream of buying my way into a virtual career, and I was really excited about what I could do with the winning money, but now that dream has been crushed by your decision. I am devastated by your policy of only accepting one accurate guess to win. Is there anything, anything at all that I can do to get a makeup guess? Or can you round my guess down to the winning number? I've tried so hard to win this pool and you are my last chance!!!!!!!

Sincerely,
Bookish_One

And it will JUST be between you and sciprofmw, right?  You won't tell anyone else!

Hee  - well done! I have clearly spent too much time reading the grade grubbing fora, as my guess was off-the-charts high. Alas. Well, even the virtual dollar is tanking these days so my virtual European vacation will have to wait.

[scheherazade]

Hey Science,

As you know, I lost the pool.  I think it's really unfair, because you didn't tell us how sternly you warned off people ahead of time.  And you talked about how grade-grubbing they were, leading us to believe the number would be bigger.  If you were fair and honest, I would have guessed the right number.  I really need the pool winnings to pay for med school.  Please reconsider your position on this so I don't have to go to your boss.

Scher

[johnr]

Dear sciprofmw,

    I don't know if you remember me, I participated in your CHE contest this spring and I was the one who won.  I really, really enjoyed your contest and I'm thinking of changing my major because of you.  I'm applying for an advertising internship this summer, would you mind writing me a letter of recommendation? Also, I know this is kind of last minute, but the letter is due today at 5:00, but you can FAX it in. 

Thanks so much,

Johnr

[dr_evil]

Hey, Sci!

I had no idea the deadline for the pool was so quick.  I was hoping to re-do my estimate before it was due, but since I didn't get time for that, I was hoping you'd give me a second chance.  I really need to do well in the pool or my parents will disown me.

DE

<It's contagious, I swear.>

[the_honey_badger]

Dude
Hey, I know I really screwed up with that contest. LOL But if u r averaging my score without participation then I think that blows. Because I did *participate* by sending in a number. I think that this should count more than some exact "right" or "wrong" answer because I think it shows how much I care. Your thread is my favorite and I used to didn't like threads at all. LOL

Anyway, take another look at it.
peace out
Radical Guy

[johnr]

Dude
Hey, I know I really screwed up with that contest. LOL But if u r averaging my score without participation then I think that blows. Because I did *participate* by sending in a number. I think that this should count more than some exact "right" or "wrong" answer because I think it shows how much I care. Your thread is my favorite and I used to didn't like threads at all. LOL

Anyway, take another look at it.
peace out
Radical Guy

Classic.

[svenc]

Dear Sciprofmw,

I understand you were Svenc's teacher in the "desparate e-mail pool" thread.  I also understand that Svenc's vote of 8 was just one higher than the number you claim won.

I know that Svenc is an excellent judge of student character, and was at least as able as any of his threadmates when it comes to guessing numbers of grade-grubbing students.  I also strongly suspect that you received at least one other grade inquiry that, for whatever reason, you chose not to count -- meaning that the true count was indeed 8, as my son predicted. 

He very much deserves the virtual pot, and I will not hesitate to contact your bosses (including the University President and the Governor) if he does not receive it right away.  Please remember that as a taxpayer, I pay your salary. 

I look forward to your response,

Svenc's Mother

[dr_evil]

Dear Sciprofmw,

I understand you were Svenc's teacher in the "desparate e-mail pool" thread.  I also understand that Svenc's vote of 8 was just one higher than the number you claim won.

I know that Svenc is an excellent judge of student character, and was at least as able as any of his threadmates when it comes to guessing numbers of grade-grubbing students.  I also strongly suspect that you received at least one other grade inquiry that, for whatever reason, you chose not to count -- meaning that the true count was indeed 8, as my son predicted. 

He very much deserves the virtual pot, and I will not hesitate to contact your bosses (including the University President and the Governor) if he does not receive it right away.  Please remember that as a taxpayer, I pay your salary. 

I look forward to your response,

Svenc's Mother

I've received real emails like this.  I find this both funny and sad.

[johnr]

Dear Svenc's Mother,

    Oh, so it's you who pays my salary?  I was wondering about that because I haven't seen a raise in years and I could really, really use one.  Would you please look into that for me while I review your son's grade?  However, in the event that the grade review is not to your satisfaction, there is no need to contact the University President or the Governor. Based upon a generous estimate of your annual income and tax burden, I calculate that your annual tax contribution to my salary comes to 0.00007 cents.  I have enclosed a penny with this letter.  Please keep the change.   

Yours,

Prof Johnr 

Dear Sciprofmw,

I understand you were Svenc's teacher in the "desparate e-mail pool" thread.  I also understand that Svenc's vote of 8 was just one higher than the number you claim won.

I know that Svenc is an excellent judge of student character, and was at least as able as any of his threadmates when it comes to guessing numbers of grade-grubbing students.  I also strongly suspect that you received at least one other grade inquiry that, for whatever reason, you chose not to count -- meaning that the true count was indeed 8, as my son predicted. 

He very much deserves the virtual pot, and I will not hesitate to contact your bosses (including the University President and the Governor) if he does not receive it right away.  Please remember that as a taxpayer, I pay your salary. 

I look forward to your response,

Svenc's Mother

[titian]

Dear Sciprofmw,
....

He very much deserves the virtual pot, and I will not hesitate to contact your bosses (including the University President and the Governor) if he does not receive it right away.  Please remember that as a taxpayer, I pay your salary. 

I look forward to your response,

Svenc's Mother

Dear Battleaxe Svenc's Mother,

I suspect that the "pot" involved in your son's choice was RL, not "virtual".

And as far as my salary: You're not paying me enough to put up with this.
For as many hours as I work per week, I figure I am getting paid about $3 an hour. Bite me.

One Overworked, Underpaid, and Highly Irritated Professor

[galactic_hedgehog]

hey prof :-)

i cant unnerstand why i didnt win caus im sure that i gueesed seven if you chek yor recors youll see that i did have the wining guees and its not fair that i didnt win caus i did go to class all the time and turnd every thing in even if you say i didnt caus i did.

[sciprofmw]

Hey Science,

As you know, I lost the pool.  I think it's really unfair, because you didn't tell us how sternly you warned off people ahead of time.  And you talked about how grade-grubbing they were, leading us to believe the number would be bigger.  If you were fair and honest, I would have guessed the right number.  I really need the pool winnings to pay for med school.  Please reconsider your position on this so I don't have to go to your boss.

Scher

Scher,

Apparently you did not read the OP, just as my students do not read the syllabus.  I clearly stated that I explicitly warned the students not to contact me regarding their grades.  I think you need to learn to read first before contemplating applying to medical school.  In fact, I hear reading comprehension is a requirement.  Good luck with the moderators, I have heard they are more of a hard @$$ than I am.

Sincerely,
Professor Sciprofmw ;-)

[sciprofmw]

I am just rolling - these are absolutely hilarious.