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[nana72]

Good advice everyone. Still, OP asked about *really* saving money. Brown bagging and cutting one's own hair is great, but when I think of my really large expenses - housing and childcare - those dwarf in comparison.
We own a condo rather than a house because we could not afford one in the expensive area where we live. This way our housing expenses are managable. We own only one car, which we bought pre-owned, certified. It runs great. Child care will end or at least decrease greatly when the kids are in school.
We maximize our 403k so we know that even if we don't save, this does it for us.
In general, I find that constantly skimping on small things makes me unhappy. I do this naturally - brown bagging because food and coffee at my school are lousy, don't eat out because it's not much fun with two small kids - but I don't limit myself on this very much. I find that the big things - housing, car and shopping for luxury appliances etc. - are more important.

[atalanta]

Good advice everyone. Still, OP asked about *really* saving money. Brown bagging and cutting one's own hair is great, but when I think of my really large expenses - housing and childcare - those dwarf in comparison.

Hmm, that's interesting! I read the post a different way. Although I completely agree with what you say - think what a car-free life style could do for my budget! -  I think the OP's question was:

We know what we are supposed to do in the name of frugality, but what do we REALLY do? 

So, I would answer by listing all the little things I actually do to save money.

This is what I do (as many others have suggested):
-Walk/bike to work every day (even when it's 35 degrees below zero)
-Take lunch and snacks to work every day
-Never buy coffee or donuts at work, ever
-Prepare frugal dinners frequently
-Go to restaurants rarely
-When I need something, I go to the Goodwill first, and consignment shops second
-Buy nearly all kids' clothes (and lots of my own) at the Goodwill
-I don't buy alcoholic beverages


Here are some areas where I DON'T economize but probably should:
-Organic eggs, meat and butter
-Outrageously pricey tickets for arts events/performances (too often)
-Gifts
-The money I spend on gourmet food items (imported cheese! exotic fruit! deluxe nuts! extra virgin olive oil!) probably cancels out all the savings from the frugal home-made dinners

[latinwords]

OK, here is what I really do:

Do not eat out (never developed a habit, so no pain here).
No Starbucks.
Bring lunch to work.
No cable (saves time, too).
Drive an old, paid for Corolla.
Buy food in bulk.
Work a load and 1/2, so that I have no time to shop!
Not not drink or smoke.
Rent a cheap place (is not really worth the misery though). I live in a very expensive area now, so cheap places are beyond horrible.

I still spend too much of clothes, shoes, and little things.

I did really well in grad school, by living "poor country" lifestyle (no car; cheap food - I actually managed to eat on $1 a day by shopping at ALDI's; no cable; thrift store shopping only).

[svenc]

I'm not very frugal about most things, but here are a few things we found that make a huge difference without cramping our style:

We cut a $1000 - $2000 per year book-buying habit to almost nothing by rediscovering the joys of the library.

Live in a smaller home close to the university = no car commute, smaller utility bills.

We mostly drink filtered tap water, plus tea in the morning, and beer or wine at dinner.  No soft drinks or bottled water.

 

[aristotelian]

On the question of saving money on big ticket items, there's not much you can do about housing (other than moving to a cheaper location) or childcare.  The main things that I can think of are:

I pay the balance of my credit card every month.
Like latinwords, I paid cash for a used Japanese car (Toyota Camry).

[vortex]

I've started buying steaks from a guy who comes by in an SUV.  They're pretty good.  I buy a case of 64 for $150.

[dysnomia]

Work from home as often as possible. When I go into campus, I plan well to consolidate meetings, things-I-can-only-do-in-the office, and face time with my colleagues. Reduces $ spent on gas (!!!), lunch, coffee, and the temptation to stop at stores and restaurants on the way home.

[belladonna]

Staying in a small one-bedroom instead of transferring to a two-bedroom.
Drinking only coffee (that I make myself) and filtered tap water.
Maximizing my Internet leeching skills.
Driving a reliable car that's fully paid off.
Preparing my own food.
Transferred my credit card debt to a 0% APR account, which I am aggressively paying off.
If I can't buy something using cash, I don't buy it. So for now I am putting off major purchases until I have paid off my credit card debt and have saved up enough cash.

[academicentrepreneur]

Is this really the right question? I have nothing against frugality--I don't carry balances on credit cards and my wife claims, only half-jokingly, that I'll negotiate the price of socks. But shouldn't we really be focusing on the flip size of this issue instead?

There's a limit to how much one can save by giving up small luxuries, staying home, and reusing garbage bags. We quickly reach a point of diminishing returns. Wouldn't it make more sense to look for ways to increase income so that we can enjoy the occasional meal out without mortgaging the cat?

That's what I try to do.

--AcadEnt

[dr_dre]

Well, we do have one big moneysaving decision. No kids!

[nana72]

Well, we do have one big moneysaving decision. No kids!

Paying just under 3K monthly for child care (infant, preschooler), I agree whole heartedly.

[magimax]

Well, we do have one big moneysaving decision. No kids!

Paying just under 3K monthly for child care (infant, preschooler), I agree whole heartedly.

That certainly factored into my decision to remain childless. 

I wonder though, do those who have children feel like their tax deductions and rebates make a difference?  That is, do you feel like the deductions you get on taxes even come close to the expenses you pay?

I'm not asking if you feel you get your money's worth from your children...  they give back in such a different way. 

[collegekidsmom]

How much does the average woman spend on haircuts, hair color, makeup, all other product, CVS,manicure, pedicure...especially hair color. I read the average in the US is 90.00 per month. Not sure where I saw that but it stuck with me. Some women spend a fortune per year on all of that.

[betty_p]

Well, I get my hair cut once a year, and I have never colored it. I think of the grey as "highlights."

I too pay credit cards off each month.

I buy store-brand of most things.

I say "no" to almost every impulse thing my daughter asks for. "Can we get it?" "No."

I have good friends who pass along their kids' clothes. Currently, daughter has clothes stacked up on the floor because she's out of room in the dresser. There are maybe three or four items that I bought for her in there.

I use (was it Clean's?) system for shopping for clothes for myself. I almost never impulse-buy. If I see something I like, I wait a week. If I still want it, then I go and buy it. Most of the time I forget about it, but sometimes not, and then I feel good about getting this item I've been thinking about for a short while.

I do love to shop, though, and I'm a sucker for a $15-or-under bracelet.

Now if I would only quit smoking, I'd be saving some real money.

[mayjohn]

The tips from all the posters are wonderful but it is really sad that in our society the most educated need to think twice about what they buy at the grocery store or, they have to buy clothes on consignment.

It does not say much about what we value as society.

John...