next »

[cms99]

My wife took Clomid for four or five IUIs before we went the IVF route.  Clomid messed up her ovulation a lot.  I second (third) the advice.  Get to an RE, get a good work up done on yourself and your husband, and see what can be done ASAP.  We were fortunate after 4 IVFs to get twin boys, but it was hell getting there.  I wish you all the luck with infertility treatments and will keep you in my thoughts.

[lemonbar]

Hello,
Just wanted to add my 2 cents worth, since it may give you a bit of hope. I just gave birth to a beautiful baby boy about 7 months ago and I am 43. My husband and I tried for several years to get pregnant on our own, just using temping and timed sex (which is no fun). I did get pregnant, but I unfortunately miscarried. I finally ended up at an RE, who didn't even bother putting me on clomid. He said it was simply not effective for women over 40 (at that point, I was 42). So I went straight to injections and IUI. It worked after 3 cycles, even though I never responded well to the drugs (never produced more than one egg). I really don't think the drugs were what helped. I think it was simply monitoring my cycle, triggering ovulation when the egg was mature and ensuring there was sperm in the fallopian tubes at the right time by doing IUI that did it. It was never quite clear to me when I was ovulating, even with temping and using ovulation predictors. When the RE monitored me closely, and controlled my cycles, we were successful. Maybe this is all you need too.

You are not that old. I mean, 37 is approaching the time when egg quality decreases dramatically, but you are not quite there yet. What is of more concern is the fact (I think you said this early on) that you've been trying for a number of years and nothing has happened. This may be an indication of some problem that has nothing to do, really, with your age. At any rate, I do believe you should see an RE as so many others have suggested here. You should not only discuss whether or not clomid is working for you, but also if you need an hsg to make sure your fallopian tubes are clear. And, also monitoring of your cycles to make sure you are producing eggs regularly (and on both the left and the right).

A great website is ovusoft.com. Lots of information, and support...even for women approaching and over 40. There is a buddy group devoted to these women: they are all supportive, and a number of them have gotten pregnant. So it is not impossible to get pregnant later on in life, although it may be a long and arduous journey.

And it is well worth the struggle...now, if only I could get pregnant once more!!!

[j_source]

I used Clomid for about 3 months 16 years ago.  A little nausea but not bad.  My OB/GYN upped the dosage after the first month and that did the trick.  J Teen is a lovely and not too sarcatic 15 year old.  I had just turned 40 when I had the infertility work up done.  Dr. made sure I understood  the increased chances for multiple births.  I may, in fact, have had two fetuses very early on but only a single baby.

[sylvie]

Hey, just offering up general infertility support, as I am going through the same thing. I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WAITED! I am 37 and have been trying for 2 years.  Just had my first appointment with an RE, who was a little crabby with me for waiting 2 years.  I explained that up until now I hadn't been emotionally ready to commit to this (I'm in the second year of a TT position) and have felt overwhelmed by my job.  He agreed with me that the emotional toll of fertility treatments is much greater than the physical toll.

I haven't started Clomid yet, am just in the beginning process of having a 3-day FSH blood test done, an HSG, and having my husband tested.  My husband is fairly supportive, although he feels like we don't have sex regularly enough to have gotten pregnant yet, which may be true.  I am frequently exhausted and not in the mood.  Infertility really kills your love life.

On a positive note, it feels good to be moving forward with something.  Best of luck to you, Hiddendragon!

[octoprof]

 But your story about a first divorce does highlight some of my fights with my SO.  He's hinted to me more than once that he does not have to have children with me and that, unlike women, men don't have a biological clock--that he could just find a younger woman.  

Personally, this sounds too scary of an attitude from your SO to make child-rearing a fun option. What a jerk!

*HUG*

[hiddendragon]

Yeah...I know.  I have a grandfather who fathered with a much younger woman at the age of 70 after grandma number 1 and 2 has passed away, and my dear advisor also fathered at 60 when he ran off with my colleague from graduate school (I know!).  My SO off-handedly referred to them in a casual conversation one day, "Well, look at grandpa and your advisor. All they needed was a young woman."  I am still pissed about this and his other off-handed comments about how he'll take on a younger woman, have a few children and then divorce her and remarry me.  I was like...."In your dreams!"  But, again, it could be the clomid that's making me highly sensitive to such comments. Or, he's just being a jerk, or has no sense of humor.  I do think there is a degree of seriousness behind these off-handed comments, though--hence, the fights between us.  Our marriage has definitely taken on a changed dynamics since we've been trying to conceive unsuccessfully.  He's become more aware of his weight and looks.  He's exercising a lot and has started on a new wardrobe.  Ok...I don't want to lay all my issues for you guys to read.  You have better things to do....

Thanks for all the personal stories.  It helps to know I am not alone.

 But your story about a first divorce does highlight some of my fights with my SO.  He's hinted to me more than once that he does not have to have children with me and that, unlike women, men don't have a biological clock--that he could just find a younger woman.  

Personally, this sounds too scary of an attitude from your SO to make child-rearing a fun option. What a jerk!

*HUG*

[brook]

I do not have any experience with Clomid, so I can't help you there.  But you have revealed quite a lot about your relationship with your husband.  Granted, infertility is very stressful and puts a great strain on a marriage.  But it sounds to me like there are other underlying issues here.  If those issues do not get resolved, then you will be in for a difficult marriage once you do have a baby.  May I gently suggest some couples counseling?  You are dealing with a lot of emotions here and sounds like you need someone to talk to - and your husband needs to find a way to be more supportive and/or express his true feelings. 

If you can work through the emtional issues and put yourself in a healthy mental state, you may be pleasantly surprised by the way your body reacts.  Stress and depression can affect fertility.  Best of luck to you.

[crowie]

Yeah...I know.  I have a grandfather who fathered with a much younger woman at the age of 70 after grandma number 1 and 2 has passed away, and my dear advisor also fathered at 60 when he ran off with my colleague from graduate school (I know!).  My SO off-handedly referred to them in a casual conversation one day, "Well, look at grandpa and your advisor. All they needed was a young woman."  I am still pissed about this and his other off-handed comments about how he'll take on a younger woman, have a few children and then divorce her and remarry me.  I was like...."In your dreams!"  But, again, it could be the clomid that's making me highly sensitive to such comments. Or, he's just being a jerk, or has no sense of humor.  I do think there is a degree of seriousness behind these off-handed comments, though--hence, the fights between us.

The next time he makes one of those comments, no matter how off-handed, or even if other people are around, call him on it.  Just pause for a second, look him right in the eyes ask him why he would say something like that to you.  It's not the clomid.  You don't deserve those little 'zingers.'

[msparticularity]

Yeah...I know.  I have a grandfather who fathered with a much younger woman at the age of 70 after grandma number 1 and 2 has passed away, and my dear advisor also fathered at 60 when he ran off with my colleague from graduate school (I know!).  My SO off-handedly referred to them in a casual conversation one day, "Well, look at grandpa and your advisor. All they needed was a young woman."  I am still pissed about this and his other off-handed comments about how he'll take on a younger woman, have a few children and then divorce her and remarry me.  I was like...."In your dreams!"  But, again, it could be the clomid that's making me highly sensitive to such comments. Or, he's just being a jerk, or has no sense of humor.  I do think there is a degree of seriousness behind these off-handed comments, though--hence, the fights between us.

The next time he makes one of those comments, no matter how off-handed, or even if other people are around, call him on it.  Just pause for a second, look him right in the eyes ask him why he would say something like that to you.  It's not the clomid.  You don't deserve those little 'zingers.'

On my most recent reading of this (after turning in my grades and getting a decent night's sleep), it also occurs to me that SO may be suffering from fears and insecurities of his own. Men have a lot wrapped up in their fertility also - sense of masculinity/power, and so on. He may be making an (incredibly insensitive) attempt to defuse his own anxiety here. If that's the case, "calling him on it" in a negative way could actually make things worse. While I agree that you don't deserve the incredibly insensitive comments, I'm also struck by the thought that neither of you deserves all of the stresses of infertility , and you're probably not the only one suffering.