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[secretweapon]

I just was threatened by an 8-year old.

A big group of kids is kicking a ball around in the street, and it kept hitting my house, so I went outside and closed the gate to stop balls from hitting my front door (there is a little fence and gate around the front of my house - it's a small house in a city).  I didn't say anything to them, but this one little girl saw me do it and got confrontational (!).  She started yelling at me and informed me that I wasn't to mess with them, because they have been watching me and know that I "only moved in last year" and "don't know how things are done around here," and she was going to "show me" that she could do whatever she wants. 

Back in the day, when I was a young 'un (i.e., the 80s), adults commanded some respect.  If you kicked a ball against someone's house and they came out to confront you, you ran and hid behind a stationwagon.  Kids feared adults, not the other way around.  What's the deal?

So, here I am, an adult with a PhD, who regularly controls a classroom full of (occasionally surly) undergrads, in tears because a child kicking a ball in the street yelled at me.  Maybe this is just because I live in Craptacular City; maybe this is a more widespread issue. 

Ridiculous.

 

[science_expat]

Sympathies and advice.

You have to stand up to them now!

I had a lot of trouble with kids when I first moved in, accentuated because I was a foreigner. I finally took action which involved me knocking on doors and talking to parents. This reduced most of the problems but also led to an escalation of the ring the doorbell and run away trick - promoted by a teenager egging on younger kids.

I finally had a face to face with the lad - aged maybe 15 and bigger than me - and told him that he was a f*ing a**hole. Miraculously, the trouble stopped.

Am not sure that this was the right approach but ignoring them certainly isn't. You need to get to know your neighbors, especially those with kids. The kids almost certainly won't bother their parents' acquaintances.

[secretweapon]

Thanks, S_E.  Did you find that the parents were bothered by the appearance of a foreigner on their street?  This is my worry, as a foreigner myself.

[science_expat]

Thanks, S_E.  Did you find that the parents were bothered by the appearance of a foreigner on their street?  This is my worry, as a foreigner myself.

I don't know because I'm a non-visible foreigner. What I mean is that I'm a white American in the UK which means that I didn't understand the culture but wouldn't have stood out until I started talking to people.

But I don't think being visibly different should matter as long as you take (as I eventually did) a "can you help me" approach. First, get chatting with folks then after a few weeks try the "here, can you help me? I'm having trouble with... Any advice?" With luck, word will go out on the grapevine to leave you alone.

Best of luck, it's a miserable position to be in.

[phdbliss]

secretweapon - don't you let those kids boss you around! Tell them that if that ball hits your house again that you're calling the cops to have them arrested for attempted destruction of personal property. They don't know the law. They'll be scared of you from then on. I think you're giving the kids too much credit - they're kids - they don't know anything - it's all bravado. It's YOUR house! Take charge! And don't cry. *Hug*

[mzunderstanding]

My "mom voice" freezes children from the ages of 18 months to 22 years in their tracks. Want me to come help?

The scary thing is that the 8-year-old confronting you probably learned that behavior from watching her parents.

[the_honey_badger]

I'm trying to figure out why this made you cry!

Certainly the little monster has "a mouth on her" and you might be in a fairly rough area ---did you fear physical harm or some sort of retaliation to your property? 

[tenured_feminist]

The neighbor three houses down from me had an urban legend going about  that the rocks on her tempting hillside were sprayed with poison.  I was terrified of her as a child, but now as a grownup, I see the advantages.

[_touchedbyanoodle_]

The scary thing is that the 8-year-old confronting you probably learned that behavior from watching her parents.

Yes, and I'd be cautious about making any sort of threats to talk to her parents. You probably don't want to. Just yell at the kid to get off your property. It's probably what she responds to.

[galactic_hedgehog]

Some time ago we were visiting my folks at their townhouse, which is a condo complex.  As we pulled up to their unit, there were some kids riding their bikes in the street, not paying attention.  When we got out of the car, we mentioned to them that people often go too fast here and don't look where they're going, so they need to keep alert.  One kid's reaction?  "My mom's on the condo board, so don't tell me what to do."

Since I know one of the jerks who speeds and doesn't pay attention in her car is a board member, I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

[secretweapon]

I'm trying to figure out why this made you cry!

Certainly the little monster has "a mouth on her" and you might be in a fairly rough area ---did you fear physical harm or some sort of retaliation to your property? 

Yes.  Now that I think about it, that's what it comes down to.  I'd worry about the parents as much as the kids. 

I think I'm also upset because I've been trying, and failing, to leave this city for a while, and now it feels like even the kids haved turned against me!  Roping in the parents would involve figuring out where the kids live - I've never seen a single adult out on the street.  SO thinks that we should ignore it, keep to ourselves, and just remember that we are hopefully not staying too much longer.

In the meantime, MsP, I need to get myself one of these "mom voices."  How do I do it? 

Thanks for all your responses.

[prytania3]

Take a big needle and deflate their ball.

[secretweapon]

Take a big needle and deflate their ball.

heheheh

[hollow_man]

In the meantime, MsP, I need to get myself one of these "mom voices."  How do I do it? 

Do you really have to ask? ;-D 

Seriously, it's probably not worth the investment if you're only going to use it a couple of times a year.

[dept_geek]

In the meantime, MsP, I need to get myself one of these "mom voices."  How do I do it? 

Do you really have to ask? ;-D 

Seriously, it's probably not worth the investment if you're only going to use it a couple of times a year.

I think, but have only heard second hand, that you get the mom voice at the same place you get the third eye in the back of your head and the extra arm.. oh, and the 25th and 26th hour every day.