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[twanda]

Sorry if this has already been addressed. My dilemma, both spouse and I are in positions at Rural U where we are both miserable for a number of reasons: location, horrible boss, etc (with no hope of improvement in situation). Spouse may be getting an offer for dream job in a very desirable location at Fab U (in lower paying Humanities field). Sounds great but for spouse to accept I would be leaving the tenure track with no idea when/if I could return. I could potentially work professionally in my field (something I've wanted to do) but nothing certain (I could also end up working at Sears). This could also potentially permit me to spend more time with my very young child and possibly have another child. I am concerned if I leave the t-t I may never be able to get back. Compounding my concerns I've only been on the t-t for a relatively short time. I've read several posts about people being on the market for years with nothing and they make me nervous.
Am I being overly concerned about leaving the t-t or am I crazy to even agree to this move even though it would get us both out of a miserable situtation? Has anyone else out there been in this dilemma? Any advise from someone who did leave and came back or found they couldn't? Any experience leaving the t-t for children? To top it all off I'm getting a little disgusted with the tenure process in general wondering what cost it is taking on my quality of life.   

[mgibbons19]

... or am I crazy to even agree to this move even though it would get us both out of a miserable situtation? ...

wondering what cost it is taking on my quality of life.   

Are you living to work, or working to live?

Also would depend on what your field is I would think. Given that some of the humanities ppl never get tt, that might be a problem. But in some of the social sciences, it might be easier to come back again.

Good luck.

[tenured_cat]

If I read this correctly, Spouse hasn't gotten the offer yet? If offer does come through, you need to figure out what you WANT to do:
a) Spouse can negotiate for a spousal-hire for you (I didn't see that mentioned in your original post - isn't Spouse willing to consider your professional needs?)
b) you can leave t-t and apply for a VAP or lecturer position at Spouse's school
c) you can look for work outside of the academy
d) you can become dependent spouse

A) has the best chances to continue your career and academic life/existence; the further down the line you go, the worse those chances get. If you belong to the "work and life are separate" folks, you must make a choice. If you belong to the "work is a necessary part of a full life" folks, you must make an effort (and, hopefully, this effort will be supported by Spouse).

[twanda]

Correct that spouse doesn't have an offer yet. If it comes, which is not a huge stretch, they will want to move fast so I'm trying to weigh all my options in the event a decision has to be made quickly. Spouse is very supportive of my needs and will gracefully withdraw if I ask. As a matter of fact there has always been an understanding that spouse would follow my career. The reason he even applied to this position is that it is his dream job and we are both as I said earlier miserable in the current situation. Also the market was REALLY bad this year for my field. There is virtually no chance of negotiating a spousal hire, VAP or adjunct with this position. If something came up in the area of course I would apply. I am indeed in a field where some folks never find t-ts and the professional world is incredibly low paying(arts). Recent births and deaths have really got me reevaluating priorities. In past I have been a "work is a necessary part of life" person but I'm beginning to wonder if that is changing. The quality of life in the pretenure stage is also making me an unhappy person, especially in a location/at a school that makes us both so unhappy. Thus is the sacrifice we are making so I can be on the t-t worth it? The question is if I leave will I ever be able to return?

[mgibbons19]

It's striking how unhappy you say you both are.

[hegemony]

I would say that it's unlikely that you would return to the tenure track.

If the dream university doesn't have a professorial position in your field, might they have an administrative position that you'd be suitable for?  Even if quite far down the totem pole?  (But not secretarial.)  Thus you wouldn't be entirely high and dry, without any career at all, but still in something academia-related.

If you're miserable now, that's something that needs to change.  One thing that worries me is what happens if you give up your career and the worse happens -- your spouse gets hit by a bus, or you find yourselves getting a divorce?  I know no one plans to get divorced -- but 50% of people do anyway.  There are big risks to giving up your career in an irrevocable way.

You as a couple have the most leverage when your husband is offered the dream job (assuming he is).  Universities are quite used to spouses needing jobs.  How they react varies widely, but they may be adept at this scenario -- you don't know till you try.  That looks to me like the best solution.  If there's absolutely nothing for you, then it looks as if the choices are giving up the career, most likely; or waiting till a later year when one of you can get a job in a place (university or town) where the other's career can be accommodated.

As for whether the tenure track is worth it at all -- universities try to take all they can from you, but just hold the line.  If you can do that, it certainly is a career that offers unusual freedom.

[larryc]

If you are miserable you need to leave.

[mns234]

Okay, so you and spouse are miserable in current jobs and you are thinking of following him to his tenure-track job and trying to find something there and thinking if you can't find something, you can at least spend time with your kid. Don't do it. Believe me on this one, but as I write it I think of course who's to say for sure. So this is one person's opinion.

Stick it out and make your miserable jobs work. The alternatives you are thinking of are far worse. They sound good to you only because you haven't experienced them and are so focused on your current lousy situation. Figure out how to fix current lousy situation.