pocvecem
Retired Forumite
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 1,122
Life is too short to spend online.
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« Reply #7665 on: February 14, 2012, 02:07:16 PM » |
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Q: Father Conjugate, when are we leaving for the interfaith service at the Nuddhist monastery?
A: The streets are paved with cheese.
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Pocvecem is the devil incarnate.
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helpful
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« Reply #7666 on: February 14, 2012, 02:56:56 PM » |
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Q. Mighty Mouse, why did you like visiting Hell?
A. There is an upcoming lecture on the topic so I thought I'd go.
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profreader
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« Reply #7667 on: February 15, 2012, 01:54:44 AM » |
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Q: Can I ask why you're dressed as the Theory of Relativity?
A: Use a paperclip.
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melba_frilkins
Doing laundry.
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 8,134
Doing laundry (still)
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« Reply #7668 on: February 15, 2012, 02:06:04 AM » |
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Q: Dang! I forgot to bring a hair tie and my hair looks terrible. And I forgot to bring a fork to eat my salad. Class starts in ten minutes. What can I do?
A: Purity For Over 165 Years.
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profreader
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« Reply #7669 on: February 15, 2012, 02:26:03 AM » |
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Q: What did that fortune teller predict for your love life?
A: There was no dialogue until the very end.
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« Reply #7670 on: February 15, 2012, 10:28:15 AM » |
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Q. What happened when all the hockey players fought in the second period of last night's game?
A. Steve Jobs did it once, so did Colonel Sanders.
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bevo98
Old but
Senior member
Posts: 630
Dr. Pepper
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« Reply #7671 on: February 15, 2012, 10:33:41 AM » |
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Q: Who, besides the chicken, crossed the road?
A: Sunshine today, partly cloudy tomorrow and all hell breaks loose on Friday.
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How you expect to run with the wolves come night when you spend all day sportin' with puppies? Omar Little
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thrillcheese
Award-winning Alpha Bitch. Yes, I really have a medal for that.
Senior member
Posts: 502
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« Reply #7672 on: February 15, 2012, 11:17:04 AM » |
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Q: Why are you buying up all those old asbestos umbrellas?
A: The mechanical parrot told me
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My tuition dollars pay your salary, you know! And stay out of the liquor cabinet. (post-functional)
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bevo98
Old but
Senior member
Posts: 630
Dr. Pepper
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« Reply #7673 on: February 15, 2012, 11:40:42 AM » |
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Q: How do you know that there's a fly in my soup?
A: Nine out of ten doctors recommend it.
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How you expect to run with the wolves come night when you spend all day sportin' with puppies? Omar Little
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pocvecem
Retired Forumite
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 1,122
Life is too short to spend online.
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« Reply #7674 on: February 15, 2012, 12:45:22 PM » |
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Q: How's the golf course over at the country club?
A: Your skull is a magnificent specimen but your face ruins it.
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Pocvecem is the devil incarnate.
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conjugate
Compulsive punster and insatiable reader, and
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 17,026
Tends to have warped sense of humor
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« Reply #7675 on: February 15, 2012, 01:12:06 PM » |
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Q: Why do you suppose the phrenologist kept wanting me to wear a stocking over my head before measuring my personality with his calipers?
A: I searched for gradebook software and only found software to produce horoscopes.
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Unfortunately, I think conjugate gives good advice.
∀ε>0∃δ>0∋|x–a|<δ⇒|ƒ(x)-ƒ(a)|<ε |
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profreader
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« Reply #7676 on: February 15, 2012, 01:25:38 PM » |
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Q: So what was your first clue that your new T-T position *wasn't* in the Astronomy Department?
A: A, E, I, O, U and sometimes Y.
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bevo98
Old but
Senior member
Posts: 630
Dr. Pepper
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« Reply #7677 on: February 15, 2012, 04:33:07 PM » |
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Q: What are my vowel choices on "Wheel of Fortune" again?
A: In many cases, simply unplugging the device and then plugging it back in will do the trick.
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How you expect to run with the wolves come night when you spend all day sportin' with puppies? Omar Little
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helpful
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« Reply #7678 on: February 15, 2012, 09:12:30 PM » |
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Q. How do I get my house husband robot to vacuum the house?
A. Well Beethoven and Metallica knew how to do it.
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pocvecem
Retired Forumite
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 1,122
Life is too short to spend online.
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« Reply #7679 on: February 16, 2012, 01:16:46 PM » |
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Q: Lars, Ludwig... all these unusual names that start with L. How can someone achieve success with a name like that?
A: Prison Love: The Rod Blagojevich Story
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Pocvecem is the devil incarnate.
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