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[titania]

Have you read this article about the difficulty in making choices and how we might be happier if we didn't have as many?

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/26/science/26tier.html

I have also been struggling with the "to be or not to be an academic" choice and you mapped out all the advantages and disadvantages clearly in your initial post.  I ended up deciding to apply for both (but only non-academic jobs that were highly attractive to me) and let my decision be based on who offered me employment.  I am still waiting for a job offer as both fields are highly competitive.  I am fiercely devoted to my career and have a terrible time thinking of leaving academia and yet the drawbacks are so big I have often wished someone else would make the choice for me.  I wish you luck - there are no easy answers.

[catstory]

It is hard being at the ABD point in one's career due to all the pressure from mentors and seeing other cohorts hit the TT job market strong. I'm a few years removed from that, so it is easier for me to envision being happy teaching at a CC nearby if my spouse made three times my salary. That first person who posted seemed a bit extreme, since it seems well agreed upon by those posting in this forum that typically one of the bodies has to alter their career dreams/expectations for another to do achieve them or at least make more money; and often both have to make sacrifices to make it work. $$ has to count for something, and I think it partially comes down to who can make more or who already is making more, and what options does the other have and how happy might that person be in the long run. The other option is living apart, but for some that really is not an option.

[miguelito]

Why can't you compromise with the seesaw?  Essentially you take turns making sacrifices depending on career trajectory and interest.  You are actually in a great position to do this as a corporate manager and him with a PhD relevant to industry if it doesn't work out (just ask those clawing in the lit market).  That is, unless your job is extremely particular to one city, like being a lobbyist in DC. 

Personally, I find it appalling that some have the attitude that marriage can be sacrificed due to any TT job, or even the hope of one.  On the other hand, it may be your turn on the downside of the seesaw.  I think you should think closely on how invested you are with your current job.  To mix metaphors, you are just as likely as him to come up with the short end of the stick by panting your flag so deep in your own job territory.  A couple year sacrifice is not that huge over the course of a professional career. 

[princesita]

I thought that the other post-ers were being a little bit harsh with you.  The fact is, as you pointed out, that you are also freshly out of school and in a position that is paying $145,000 per year.  For many people that constitutes success.  Most people I know who are successful have to manage their careers very carefully.  For you to blindly follow your husband right now to whatever place he may choose may end your success, and it may be impossible (or close) to regain it.  Future employers will not understand why you left that position.  You will not seem dedicated to your career.  So really two careers are at stake here.
There is also a relationship at stake here.  I read your post and this thread because it resonates with me.  I am not in the same position as you, but similar in some ways.  I met my husband when he was on a one year fellowship on a break from his Ph.D.  I ended up leaving my job and doing a master's degree at his university, and moving (far, far away) to be with him while he finished.  Now we have moved again so that he can do a postdoc.  He is in engineering/compsci, so I don't have such strong worries about his marketability.  He is also incredibly self-motivated and disciplined and a great networker.  So I am supportive of him and his ambitions. 
BUT it is hard to put my aspirations, career, personal relationships etc. on hold as we follow his career path.  The moves are hard.  And in academia you don't get to pick exactly where.  It isn't easy for him either to move around and be far from people that he loves.  We value our relationship first, and so we choose to be together.  But I was working in the non-profit field before so I didn't have to give up a $145,000 paycheck.  And we actually live quite simply.  But we want to build a family and be together.  So I am stomaching moving around and doing my best to find a job right now and to be supportive.  And it is just right now that I am realizing that I may have to switch fields, away from my recent master's and past professional experience, because it is too specialized for the area in which we find ourselves.  I don't know if I will be able to find my way back in.  And that is hard.  And it is hard to imagine doing something more entry level when I have great references, years of experience, languages and an advanced degree.
I think you are in a conundrum, and probably counseling would be best to at least address these issues openly.  Or if you and your husband are very good at communicating you could do it without counseling.  You are not in a bad situation, because you have love, money, success and health.  But there could be potential compromises here.  It seems like a no-go to me for you to risk your professional future by leaving such a good and well paying job one year in.  But maybe your husband could find a research opportunity for one year at his university (my husband did this while I finished my master's) so that you could have more time there to prove your worth and to establish yourself.  Maybe there are telecommuting alternatives.  Maybe if you did a little bit of job searching in advance you could find a great or at least a good option that would not take you too far off track.
And you did not mention children, but whatever age you all are, of course your biological clock is ticking.  If you do want kids, that has to be part of the discussion.  When do you want them, how many, etc.  The fact that your husband has a Ph.D. does not excuse him from being a grown up, too.  It is a different choice to raise kids while you are making $145,000 a year than it is when you are making $45,000 a year.    These are realities. 
I will tell you something else, the only ambiguity that my spouse has exhibited to me regarding academic life is when he realized that if he took an industry postdoc he could make double what he is making at his academic one.  That is the only time.  So I never have had the worry of whether he is doing what he really loves.  If I had that worry, it would be harder for me to be so supportive. 
You all have a real set of dilemmas to discuss.  You are fully justified in being concerned about the issues you mention.  But I think that you all can work through these as long as you figure out what is most important to you both and talk very frankly about them.  Both have to be willing to give a little and to deal with truths about their situations.  Good luck.