• Tuesday, May 29, 2012
May 29, 2012, 05:10:04 AM *
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News: Talk about how to cope with chronic illness, disability, and other health issues in the academic workplace.
 
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Author Topic: The Many-Body Problem  (Read 16643 times)
magimax
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meow


« Reply #30 on: April 29, 2008, 10:07:06 AM »

It's one thing to be far from an entire extended family you are close to, but I think that if it's only parents, why not make them move?  Once they retire, they are more mobile.  Why should the onus be on the children to accommodate them? 

I know I sound harsh here, but seriously.  Practically speaking, you will be the one earning the money in a place that requires you to be there.  Retirees up and move all the time - often to better (warmer) places.  So what is the big deal?  If parents want to see their grandchildren, show them brochures about the wonderful things to do in your neck of the woods.  Familiarize yourself with the retirement facilities in area cities.  Tell them you will pay (or help pay) to move their stuff.  My institution even provides elder care help to its employees.  If being close to you is that important, they will do it.

I consider myself lucky in that my brother and his family live in the same city as my aging parents, who have invested so much in his children that he is indebted to take care of them.  My schedule is flexible, so I can come and visit when needed/wanted.  However, my MIL is another story, but I've made it perfectly clear to my SO that WE are not moving, SHE is. 
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Нема лоша ракиа, има малко.
pippin
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« Reply #31 on: May 01, 2008, 04:57:07 PM »

I'm just happy to finally be moving to the same coast as my mother. We will be in the same time zone, which means we'll actually be able to talk on the phone during the week if we need to, and flying visits won't include jet-lag.

We will be looking for a mother-in-law suite situation, but I doubt she will be with us full-time, since she is used to the warm weather (and unused to trying to get around in the snow) and has a great support network where she is. I can't take off work in the middle of the day to drive her around to doctors, etc., but all her retired friends in her sunny enclave can...
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Just because no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
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