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[monkeydoc]

I know the SC isn't supposed to ask me whether I'm married and what my spouse does for a living, but does this mean I shouldn't bring it up at all? I ask because what my spouse does for a living and how it impacts on our family culture (friendships/beliefs/actions/charitable giving/etc.) is directly relevant to the mission of the university at which I am interviewing. The university places profound emphasis on social justice and community service, and while my work intersects with these values as well, my spouse's life is explicitly *about* justice in action and that does inform our family life. It has also affected the way I frame my own work. I know going on and on about SO's work isn't appropriate but I wondered if, when asked how I operate within the values of social justice (I will be asked this, in some way or another, by the SC or the dean), a mention of this familial emphasis would be welcomed. I should point out that there is no 2-body problem here.

[sunanoonna]

I see no downside here.

[larryc]

Yes--but don't go on and on about it.

[croaker]

My wife is a lot smarter than me, so when I mentioned what she does for a living, I think they thought more highly of me.

[zuzu_]

I interviewed when I was 7 mos pregnant and due to give birth the week I would have needed to start classes.

I enthusiastically told them about my stay-at-home-dad-spouse.

I got the job.

[bobsuncle]

I mentioned my spouse was from the UNATTRACTIVE geographical region and how much spouse was looking forward to moving back.  I got the job.

Also, how spouse has very flexible job, could get a job easily in new city, and was looking forward to staying home with (future) kids.

[pink_]

what larryc said.
It's fine to bring it up, I think, but ultimately, the question is whether or not they want to hire YOU, not spouse.  So focus on what you bring to the table.

[fiona]

We'd generally be pretty turned off by someone who babbled about his/her spouse. We'd figure the person didn't have self-confidence and wasn't interesting or valuable to us. We'd be unlikely to hire that candidate.

I think posters here are sometimes overly optimistic about the family/spouse friendliness of departments, at least in R-1s. We think of hiring as finding the best candidate to teach and write in a certain area. We're not hiring a family.

The Fiona

[helpful]

I mentioned my spouse was from the UNATTRACTIVE geographical region and how much spouse was looking forward to moving back.  I got the job.

Also, how spouse has very flexible job, could get a job easily in new city, and was looking forward to staying home with (future) kids.

I can't think of any place that is so UNATTRACTIVE that it would help you in getting a job by mentioning it.

[croaker]

We think of hiring as finding the best candidate to teach and write in a certain area. We're not hiring a family.

The Fiona

Of course you are.  If you bring in someone with a spouse that hates the area or is looking for a TT job, that has implications.  If you hire someone with a spouse who has family in the area and wants to stay, that affects the decision as well. 

Obviously these are tertiary concerns, but a new hire's success and potential tenure are not independent of their family life.

[chaud]

Usually I try to avoid talking about my family, but on my last interview, I can't even count how many people asked me if I had kids and went on and on about how wonderful the area was for children and families. I don't think you can predict how the SC will react. I talked more about that stuff with those who I know had children about the same age as mine and very little about my family with older or male faculty members.

[dundee]

During campus interviews I have been asked about my spouse numerous times. The questions were very direct and I just answered them honestly, since evading the question would have created a lot of awkwardness. However, I didn't bring up the subject.

[kurejara]

I mentioned my partner and our new baby within 10 minutes of being picked up from the hotel for dinner.  If they would have been turned off, I would have turned down the job.*  They weren't, and I didn't.

-k

*slac

[mended_drum]

I'm actually a little uncomfortable when a candidate repeatedly mentions spouse /baby.  SCs may try to follow the lead of the candidate in these matters, chatting about such things at length when the candidate seems to enjoy it.  However, it always makes me feel as if we're not having the same kind of interview with the single or just more reticent candidates.  Bonding over family issues in an interview seems to me not the violation that intentionally avoiding hiring, say, mothers with children would be, but I feel like it encourages an instinct to welcome traditional nuclear families in the name of "fit" rather than hiring based on professional qualifications.

But I seem to be the only person I know who gets antsy about this.

[rosemarysbaby]

I'm actually a little uncomfortable when a candidate repeatedly mentions spouse /baby.  SCs may try to follow the lead of the candidate in these matters, chatting about such things at length when the candidate seems to enjoy it.  However, it always makes me feel as if we're not having the same kind of interview with the single or just more reticent candidates.  Bonding over family issues in an interview seems to me not the violation that intentionally avoiding hiring, say, mothers with children would be, but I feel like it encourages an instinct to welcome traditional nuclear families in the name of "fit" rather than hiring based on professional qualifications.

But I seem to be the only person I know who gets antsy about this.

Dear Grinnellns, thank you for bringing this out. I am happy you are antsy about this. If I were a SC member, I would be uncomfortable too, speaking to a candidate who mentions hus spouse from time to time.

Of course my immediate response is: If it is a plus to mention one's spouse, how about (1) die-hard single people? and (2) lesbian and gay people (single or not)?

Can we encourage a lesbian candidate to confess in front of the SC-- "Listen, I am a lesbian, and I have a spouse. We were married in MA (or another state). She is the director of the yoga classroom next to your SLAC." ? Many of us (including me) would know: such a confession is too risky.

So you see, those who can brag about their spouses and those who cannot are not equal.