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professor_pat
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« on: January 23, 2008, 02:18:04 PM » |
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From the parent of a 21-year-old student...
Student's email (quote from my submission to the "'favorite' student emails" thread):
"Also we need to rethink how things are done for the future terms. I would like it if you could stay in touch with my parents on a weekly basis and inform them of anything that looks like trouble."
Parent's subsequent email, after several intervening ones to me, various associate deans, and student development folks, along with some in-person visits:
"We are not, nor do we want to be, helicopter parents. We are interested only in Snowflake's success."
Can you say "Poster Child"?
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To me, forums are more of a relaxing period in which the poster can allow himself or himself to be lost in a sea of wonder.
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octoprof
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 32,746
Dérailleur-in-Chief (nominee)
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« Reply #1 on: January 23, 2008, 03:34:07 PM » |
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This email came out of the blue last Spring semester from a total stranger. Ms. Octo,
I took my son to the doctor yesterday and he is on antibiotics - the
doctor has given him an excuse and asked that he not go to work or
school for two days. Jerry will bring the excuse with him when he
returns to school Thurs. Is there anything else I need to do or tell
him while he is home recovering.
Thank you
Chris Thomas I replied something to the effect of "Thanks for the update, I cannot discuss any student over the email because of FERPA. Feel free to remind him to check course syllabi and websites for assignments, yadda yadda." She/he answered back: Dr. Octo,
I apologize if I appear to be interfering I only sent the email because
Jerry asked me to since he does not feel well and he did not want his
instructors to think he was skipping. I will pass on the information
for him to read the syllabus, thank you.
Chris Thomas
What was sooooooooooooooo funny about this is in the five weeks of the semester that had gone by at this time, Jerry had been in class exactly once (of 10 class meetings), though he had emailed me five times. All of his emails were about WebCT which we were not using in that course. I'd seen him so little thus far that I couldn't have picked him out of a line-up. |
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Let us consider that we are all partially insane. It will explain us to each other; it will unriddle many riddles; it will make clear and simple many things... Mark Twain
It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities. Professor Dumbledore
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mended_drum
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« Reply #2 on: January 23, 2008, 03:35:47 PM » |
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Oh, well, this one came last week:
"Hi, Dr. grinnellns! It's me again, Slacker's mom! I hope you had a great holiday. I know we talked about how Slacker should communicate with me about his work and how it's not really appropriate for me to try to talk about him behind his back (which I'm doing right now, ha-ha!), but I just wanted to make sure that he's coming to class. Please let me know if he stops coming or doesn't turn in any work because we've promised to take his car away. Well, you know what he's like by now. So just keep on his case and let me know if he slacks off. Thanks!
Persistent Helicopter Mom"
By now, everyone in the department knows this parent, who always agrees she shouldn't do this and in the next breath does it anyway. All of us simply forward her e-mails to her son, Slacker, who is mortified by the whole situation. I stopped replying a long time ago.
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magistra
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« Reply #3 on: January 23, 2008, 04:54:15 PM » |
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Three guesses why this kid is a slacker? I'd passive-agressively try to piss her off, too.
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First it was Wolfram and Hart, now it's Blackboard. There's not much moral difference, if you ask me. -- Malcha
Grammar is the chocolate in the buttery croissant of life. -- Yellowtractor
Okay, so that was petty. Today, I feel like embracing pettiness. -- Mended Drum
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the_honey_badger
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« Reply #4 on: January 23, 2008, 09:35:22 PM » |
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My all time favorite:
Dear Professor,
I am writing about my daughter Jane Doe's grade on an essay for your class. She received a B and was naturally quite upset. I had her bring it home for me to review over the weekend and agree with her that the grade is far too low...[cut lots of comments that ignore my central issues with organization and with her failure to either answer the question asked or use the appropriate sources]. Jane was carefully home schooled and essay writing was a central part of our high school program. I had her write many essays. I urge you to revisit this essay and give it the grade that it actually earned. I'd rather settle it at the teacher level peer-to-peer than to bring it to the president of the college.
sincerely,
Mrs. John Doe (writing as her teacher not her mother)
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_____________________________________
"Honey badger don't care."
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svenc
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« Reply #5 on: January 23, 2008, 09:45:21 PM » |
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Oh my, Yankee ... how did you respond?
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« Last Edit: January 23, 2008, 09:45:38 PM by svenc »
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In foris veritas.
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the_honey_badger
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« Reply #6 on: January 23, 2008, 10:04:37 PM » |
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Oh my, Yankee ... how did you respond?
It was my VAP year right out of school and fortunately, I was at a great SLAC where the chair (who'd seen everything and then some..) happily took over and wrote her a very kind, but definite letter that talked about the girl's obvious strengths and wonderful preparation. I wish I'd either kept it or recalled the wording but essentially said that a "B" on this sort of assignment is what the very best A high school students get, but, that said, federal law and college regulations forbade a discussion of the particulars but, she was willing to "hedge on that just a bit out of professional courtesy" Really, it was a masterpiece and the student was in my office the next day under mother's instructions to "learn all the college methods." She ended up being one of the best in the class. But, that original letter freaked me right out in my first "real" solo teaching experience. Boy, that chair was great, wish I still worked for her---epitome of the best of SLAC culture and political saavy and stood behind her faculty no matter what. |
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_____________________________________
"Honey badger don't care."
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anthroid
Annoying bad luck snails
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 16,002
No happy socks because nobody gets Manitoba.
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« Reply #7 on: January 24, 2008, 11:10:31 AM » |
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Do you hail from Planet Hello Kitty? It's like an action movie, but boring.
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sikora
Looking for something, but forgot what it was.
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 4,910
Arrggh! WTF??
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« Reply #8 on: January 24, 2008, 11:53:12 AM » |
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All this makes me think that students should do two years of some kind of service before they go to college.
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Stop plate tectonics!
and while we're at it ...
Free kittens!
and
Free the bound morpheme!
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octoprof
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 32,746
Dérailleur-in-Chief (nominee)
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« Reply #9 on: January 24, 2008, 12:28:23 PM » |
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All this makes me think that students should do two years of some kind of service before they go to college.
I agree with that sentiment. I'd think a year in the military or a year of peacecorp or some equivalent would wake at least some of them up to the value of an education... Of course, the helicopter parents would never allow it. |
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Let us consider that we are all partially insane. It will explain us to each other; it will unriddle many riddles; it will make clear and simple many things... Mark Twain
It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities. Professor Dumbledore
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octoprof
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 32,746
Dérailleur-in-Chief (nominee)
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« Reply #10 on: January 24, 2008, 12:32:33 PM » |
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Oh my, Yankee ... how did you respond?
It was my VAP year right out of school and fortunately, I was at a great SLAC where the chair (who'd seen everything and then some..) happily took over and wrote her a very kind, but definite letter that talked about the girl's obvious strengths and wonderful preparation. I wish I'd either kept it or recalled the wording but essentially said that a "B" on this sort of assignment is what the very best A high school students get, but, that said, federal law and college regulations forbade a discussion of the particulars but, she was willing to "hedge on that just a bit out of professional courtesy" Really, it was a masterpiece and the student was in my office the next day under mother's instructions to "learn all the college methods." She ended up being one of the best in the class. But, that original letter freaked me right out in my first "real" solo teaching experience. Boy, that chair was great, wish I still worked for her---epitome of the best of SLAC culture and political saavy and stood behind her faculty no matter what. Imagine what could have happened if yankeedan hadn't had an excellent chair? *cringe* |
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Let us consider that we are all partially insane. It will explain us to each other; it will unriddle many riddles; it will make clear and simple many things... Mark Twain
It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities. Professor Dumbledore
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yemaya
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« Reply #11 on: January 24, 2008, 12:54:00 PM » |
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All this makes me think that students should do two years of some kind of service before they go to college.
This is definitely a good idea for a lot of students. I am not completely convinced that such a delay would change a whole lot as far as the helicopter parents go. I also think that colleges should do more in their orientations to help parents learn, at the college level, what constitutes appropriate support of their kid and what its meddling. This applies to K-12 students as well, but among other things, a number of parents need to learn that they need to butt out and let the trained professional scholars and educators do their jobs. The sheer level of arrogance on parents like the one in YD's story is ridiculous. |
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Historians are gossips who tease the dead. ~Voltaire
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averah
Junior member
Posts: 55
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« Reply #12 on: January 24, 2008, 01:22:27 PM » |
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All that proves is how smart kids are today. Who wouldn't prefer to live life with a personal assistant dedicated to taking care of all the administrivia that we don't want to do ourselves? I for one would love someone to helicopter over here right now and pay my bills, restock my kitchen with my favorite foods, and tell how special and smart I am, special-er and smart-er than the rest of you. What I don't get is why well educated people pick up the second job of playing Snowflake's Personal Assistant. I swear the worst helicopter parents are the ones who, in their own career, would never dream of doing administrative work themselves, but somehow love to do it for their kids. |
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anthroid
Annoying bad luck snails
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 16,002
No happy socks because nobody gets Manitoba.
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« Reply #13 on: January 24, 2008, 02:08:43 PM » |
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All that proves is how smart kids are today. Who wouldn't prefer to live life with a personal assistant dedicated to taking care of all the administrivia that we don't want to do ourselves? I for one would love someone to helicopter over here right now and pay my bills, restock my kitchen with my favorite foods, and tell how special and smart I am, special-er and smart-er than the rest of you. What I don't get is why well educated people pick up the second job of playing Snowflake's Personal Assistant. I swear the worst helicopter parents are the ones who, in their own career, would never dream of doing administrative work themselves, but somehow love to do it for their kids. I'm with you, averah. I'm not so sure, though, that the helicopter parents, in their busy professional lives, do not in fact rely on their admnistrative assistants to do all kinds of inappropriate things. I have a number of colleagues who believe, for instance, that our administrative assistants ought to not only balance their checkboooks but draft syllabi and curriculum changes. Our administrative assistants know to tell them to wait a moment and come right into my office with the checkbook and/or syllabi to (loudly) ask for my approval as chair. Guess what happens? Anyway, the point is that perhaps the helicopter parents either get the peons to do their personal work for them (so then the helicopters have more time to bother us) or don't do it at all. (And welcome, averah!) |
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Do you hail from Planet Hello Kitty? It's like an action movie, but boring.
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acrimone
The Red Queen's Court Assassin
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 4,049
I am not a professor at all, despite what I say.
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« Reply #14 on: January 24, 2008, 03:11:39 PM » |
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I anticipate an existential crisis for the United States in about... 30-40 years when these parents all start dying. |
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"All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?"
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