next »

[t_r_b]

I was looking on the internet for more information about the prestigious Oxford Round Table and came across this blog. It is amazing that so many people have formed a negative impression of this important event based on so little information, so I decided to share what little I know about it.

I'm a custodian at a directional state university somewhere in the midwest, and I empty the trash of three faculty members who have attended the Oxford Round Table. I can't say whether their experience is representative, but each of them came back with nothing but good things to say about the trip. One of them has posted several photos in his office showing him drinking beer with colleagues in old-fashioned looking bars - very fancy. I overheard another one comment that he never expected that the English could provide such good food! And it looks like they met a bunch of interesting people from other distinguished satellite campuses and heard some very provocative talks, judging by the papers and business cards they placed in the recycling bin when they emptied their briefcases after the trip. It's obvious they had a really good time: whenever I hear them talking about the Oxford Round Table, they soon burst out laughing, then hush each other while muttering something about whether the department chair is in the hallway. I guess the chair doesn't share their sense of humor.

Based on everything I've learned, I can't imagine why anyone would pass up the opportunity to attend the Oxford Round Table. I've received three invitations myself, but for some reason the dean hasn't yet agreed to pay for my trip.

[euro_trash]

As someone with a prestigious accredited online PhD in the humanities, I was sceptical about the academic rigour of the ORT.  I had heard negative comments that the ORT was a false intellectual excursion for the rich or a way to profit from American graduate students.  Those claims were proved false.  I found the ORT a stimulating and scholarly experience.

The beautiful buildings of the campus simply exhaled knowledge.  Everyone present was there based solely on academic reputation.  No one paid their way into this event.  While I was chatting with a colleague from The University of Paris (Ohio) and Yale State, I was asked by a very civilized British Professor if I wanted more cheese with my burgundy.  “Divine!” I exclaimed, wiping my whiskers in reflective contemplation.  I relished in the knowledge that I was one of the very few scholars to be invited to such a prestigious event.  The last day of the conference, we were naturally intellectually drained.  Such intense and reflective scholarship is bound to take its toll.  We decided to go rowing.  What a splendid way to invigorate the mental spirit!  I immediately went to my 5 star hotel room and typed out a magnificent poem which I have since sent off to the Whose Who in American Poetry.  Expecting a negative response, you can imagine the glory in knowing that the poem I wrote while at the ORT has been published.  What an truly great honour indeed!   

[snape]

As a leading scholar my field with over 300 posts on my blog, I was delighted to be invited to the presigious Oxford Round Table. The networking opportunities were second to none- the guy who empties Richard Dawkins' trash was there as was a janitor who attends the same church E P Thompson's parents attended in the 1920s.

However, I was surprised that no academics from the UK were present.

[euro_trash]

Over tea during the mid session interval, Ronnie McSullivan paused for a brief chat with me.  Ronnie McSullivan frequents the Oxford University library.  He has informed me that he is devising a "theory of everything" that will stun intellectuals from all disciplines.  He has apparently been working on it for years now and has even presented his findings at the Midsomer Crumpit Society and 3 county fairs. 

Brilliant people are allowed to be somewhat eccentric, so his sightly disheveled look indicated a simple disregard for contemporary fashion.  He is not a wannabe.  He told me that in his courses, graduate students quarrel over who can sit nearest him.  He joins their game, and rents seats out in the first row.  Isn't that dastardly?!   

We exchanged business cards (I bought a case for mine at the airport ).  On my card it reads,

Herr Professor Dr. White MD, PhD, ABD, Msc, MS, MFA,  MA, AB, BA, AA, AAA
Oxford Table Fellow
PO Box 94 Nanntucket, TX
Uniterd States of America
"Go Perot!"
Professorwhite@OxfordRoundtable.co.uk